Engagement without a ring...thoughts???

[WakeUpSusie]

I guess I'm in the minority, but I do think the ring is important. No, it doesn't need to be expensive or flashy, but to me that ring says more than "I'm commiting to marry you" it's also "I'm proving I can afford to look after you" and yes, these days we all work anyway, there are amazing men who are stay at home dads, women can have a carrer too etc, but all that aside I know at some point I'm going to be furthering this man's genetic line and I want to know that while I do that for him and while I keep his home in order and make him feel like the king of his castle he can provide for me and our children. I will be safe and fed. If he can't provide a ring, likely he can't provide those other things either, and to me that safety net is important.

No, I'm not one of those girls who wants to be a kept woman. I work and will continue to do so. I have been the primary breadwinner, and even the sole breadwinner in this relationship before and I am certainly willing to do it again - but in the event I can't I need a man who can step up and fill my shoes as well as his own and the one little gesture of that ring shows me that he is ready willing and able.

If that made sense lol. It's pretty late, so likely it didn't!

Even if this is an unpopular opinion, I completely agree with this. I'm not a materialistic person by any means, but I don't think I'd really, truly feel engaged without my diamond. To be honest, I would be a little financially wary of marrying someone who couldn't afford even a simple ring even after saving up for X amount of time. I work hard for my money and know how to save for things I want/need, even if it takes a long time. I would want my future husband to have a similar mindset. So, in short, I think the ring is important for reasons other than for show.

If for some reason anyone takes offense to this, it's not directed at any posters who feel differently.

[Haru]

I just got an idea, please don't laugh too much how about an engagement tree? He could give you a baby tree from a nursery that you would plant together. It will be a parallel of your love's growth, and life together

I know I'm not the OP, but I think this is a fabulous idea.

[kteire]

I know I personally would like a ring when I get engaged - like Zephii said, it's a symbol of a lot more than the commitment. That being said, you can always go for something that's not expensive and flashy. Diamond rings are popular because companies like Tiffany's have purposely tried to make people think diamonds are rare and necessary. You don't need to get something that's worth one months' pay (or whatever they're saying these days...), but if you do really want a ring, just find something simple that suits you. I just love the idea of looking down at a ring on my hand and knowing that means that my SO is promising to love me, take care of me, and to have a wonderful life with me

[rsvpnj]

I just got an idea, please don't laugh too much how about an engagement tree? He could give you a baby tree from a nursery that you would plant together. It will be a parallel of your love's growth, and life together

I think that is a very sweet idea.... thank you!

[rsvpnj]

To be honest, I would be a little financially wary of marrying someone who couldn't afford even a simple ring even after saving up for X amount of time. I work hard for my money and know how to save for things I want/need, even if it takes a long time. I would want my future husband to have a similar mindset. So, in short, I think the ring is important for reasons other than for show.

In his defense, one of the main reasons that money is so tight is because he has helped me out A LOT financially. I am a single mom who just can't seem to catch a financial break.

[lucybelle]

If I were getting engaged, I would like some type of ring. You said you already have promise rings? Have him propose with that. I've thought about giving my SO one of my rings to use if he ever decides to propose. I already have so many beautiful rings, why get another?

[loveknowsnodistance27]

I personally think the ring is just too materialistic. So many people think "oh I HAVE to have a really fancy ring that cost at least $1000 or it'll be inadequate!" but I totally disagree. The ring is a symbol in the end. My dad got married in June and his wife wanted a cubic zirconia engagement ring, and her wedding band is too. They look so beautiful and sparkly nonetheless. I would most definitely talk to him and tell him how you're feeling. Remind him that the ring is only symbolic and does not have to be that expensive. Personally, when I get to the point where my SO and I talk about engagement, I'm going to tell him straight up that I don't want an expensive diamond ring. I want cubic zirconia. I am not a girl who particularly cares for expensive things, in fact, I'd be afraid to wear it personally if it was expensive because I'd fear losing or breaking it. My SO and I are only 19, and I'm not expecting a proposal for a long time (though I'm dying to get engaged already) but it hasn't stopped me from looking at rings lol. I found a site that has beautiful cubic zirconia engagement rings, that are reasonably priced too. Here's the site linked to the engagement ring/wedding band page https://www.fantasyjewelrybox.com/ri...mentrings.html Forgive me if I'm not allowed to post links here. If I'm not, I can remove it lol.

[rsvpnj]

If I were getting engaged, I would like some type of ring. You said you already have promise rings? Have him propose with that. I've thought about giving my SO one of my rings to use if he ever decides to propose. I already have so many beautiful rings, why get another?

We don't have promise rings. I have other CZ rings that I have owned for a long time that look like engagement rings. I actually have one that I wear whenever I fly to see my SO because it feels lucky and it keeps men from hitting on me at the airport or on the plane... (With all the travel I do, it happens quite often... my SO says its because I'm beautiful and have an irresistable smile.) I think its just because I will talk to just about anyone.

[Mara]

I don't think there's anything wrong with not having a ring. A lot of people get married without rings or very cheap rings because they simply cannot afford anything expensive. When my grandparents got married all my grandmother had was a simple gold band. Their marriage lasted from the time they were 19-20 until their death. A ring isn't going to make the marriage so I don't see why it's so important. I'm all for it if you can afford it, but if you can't, you can't and I don't see why that should hold you back from getting engaged or married.

[Ms.Justine]

If you're okay with it - do it. I mean the ring isn't going to show anymore commitment than 9 years have anyway. Seriously this guy is crazy about you and you're crazy about him and I have no doubts that you guys will make it through this - you don't need a ring to tell you that. Maybe just a brown girl from Canada...whatever works. c:

[Engel]

I guess I'm in the minority, but I do think the ring is important. No, it doesn't need to be expensive or flashy, but to me that ring says more than "I'm commiting to marry you" it's also "I'm proving I can afford to look after you" and yes, these days we all work anyway, there are amazing men who are stay at home dads, women can have a carrer too etc, but all that aside I know at some point I'm going to be furthering this man's genetic line and I want to know that while I do that for him and while I keep his home in order and make him feel like the king of his castle he can provide for me and our children. I will be safe and fed. If he can't provide a ring, likely he can't provide those other things either, and to me that safety net is important.

No, I'm not one of those girls who wants to be a kept woman. I work and will continue to do so. I have been the primary breadwinner, and even the sole breadwinner in this relationship before and I am certainly willing to do it again - but in the event I can't I need a man who can step up and fill my shoes as well as his own and the one little gesture of that ring shows me that he is ready willing and able.

If that made sense lol. It's pretty late, so likely it didn't!

Even if this is an unpopular opinion, I completely agree with this. I'm not a materialistic person by any means, but I don't think I'd really, truly feel engaged without my diamond. To be honest, I would be a little financially wary of marrying someone who couldn't afford even a simple ring even after saving up for X amount of time. I work hard for my money and know how to save for things I want/need, even if it takes a long time. I would want my future husband to have a similar mindset. So, in short, I think the ring is important for reasons other than for show.

If for some reason anyone takes offense to this, it's not directed at any posters who feel differently.

I agree with you both, I want my ring, it doesnt need to be a really expensive ring, but i want my emerald (love them more than diamonds, lol). even if it is just one small emerald on a white gold band, i want it, is not to show off, but its important to me, so i would get engaged and wait til he can afford for the ring.