Question to you guys...

[HollzHeartsChris]

Just a question that's been at the back of my mind lately that I've been meaning to ask. Do you guys reckon that it's possible to be too selfless, too giving and too caring in an LDR? To the point sometimes that it can make you feel as though your SO isn't returning you with as much as you are giving them?

[megfashion]

depends if all the SO does is take, take, take...

[Rugger]

I believe it's entirely possible. It takes two people to make a relationship work. They have to put in comparable efforts for it to work. If one person puts in A LOT more effort then it's possible for one person to be more caring.

[floridaellen]

I believe it is possible but I don't think it is specific to LDRs. I've seen it in many relationships, including my relationship with my first boyfriend. I gave, gave, gave and got nothing in return.

[Bethypoo]

Yes. I think it is possible in all relationships. I mean, if one person is doing the calling and all of the work to keep the relationship going then that isnt cool. Or if you are always the one waiting up for their phone calls, or giving up things in your daily life to make sure you can talk to your SO but they dont do the same, then that is an issue. At lest in my mind. I mean all relationships are different and someone my have alot more free time while the other is always at work or school (not just out with friends). In that case its fine it is a part of life. But when one person is giving up more than another 100% of the time its not a good thing.

[heylittlekrissy]

I definitely believe that whether it's an LDR, CDR, or even friendships, this can definitely develop, where only one party seems to be making any, or most, of the effort.

[DemonxOisin]

I felt a little bit like that at the beginning of our relationship. I would completely give everything I had into it, and I felt like I was only getting a halfarsed effort from him. But over time, I matured and realized that, realistically, 2 people are incapable of giving completely equally in a relationship. Miguel is in University for Engineering. I work a minimum wage job and have all my meals cooked for me. So obviously I have waaaaay more time/money on my hands for his disposal. I know now that he gives me all that he can give right now, which, though it doesn´t seem like a lot compared to me, is a lot for where his life is right now.

[Minerva]

As a giver who in the past gave too much, I'm going to give a bit of a different opinion.

You can give too much. You can't give all of yourself away and expect the same in return. If you find yourself doing that, it's a good idea to take a step back and gain some perspective. It isn't healthy to give everything away all the time. That will suck you dry. Sometimes you have to carry the relationship and make good on the promise to always be there no matter what (don't most of us promise that? If only in our heads?). But unless your SO is in need of that kind of care and attention, don't give him your everything all the time. It sounds romantic, but it's not. It can turn you needy, resentful, and smothering; or a doormat that he that starts to take for granted.

For your own good, and for the good of the relationship, step back and see if you're giving away too much.

[msskunk]

Well me and my SO has different way to love. For some peoples around me looks like I'm the one that always gave many things, but in his opinions he already gave his heart to me.
Sometimes there are some misunderstanding because our way to love is different than our partner.