Typing vs. Talking

[Silvaria]

Well, last night was the first time he and I have talked on Skype in a couple of weeks, and I realized something.

We just don't seem to communicate "on the phone" as well as we do via text.

I admit, I've not been a "phone" person since I was a teenager, which is one reason I love texting. On the phone, you have to come up with immediate responses and be available constantly. With texting, or IMing, I can take my time thinking up a response, I can go off to the bathroom without having to say anything, and so on.

So last night we had a "date"...we were gaming together and talking on Skype. And I began to notice that when we text, we say all these wonderful, intimate, eloquent things to each other...but they just aren't as easy to say when we're talking. Even after as long as we've known each other, things seem a bit more awkward when we're talking. Which is odd, because when we were together in-person, they weren't difficult at ALL...we were constantly saying mushy and erotic things to each other.

I guess I'm feeling kind of bummed out, somehow...it wasn't that the 5 hour conversation was bad, it just seemed like we didn't click as well as we did earlier in the day, when we were texting each other. And I've sometimes wondered why he doesn't like talking on Skype very often, but I guess now I know...maybe he figured it out before me.

Anyhow, I'm curious as to whether or not anyone else feels the same way, that they have a slightly more difficult time making conversation via voice than via typing/texting, or if it's just me.

[Mara]

Yes! We just aren't phone people, my SO and I. I do alright on the phone, but he's awkward and it just isn't the same as being in person or texting.

[Moon]

I hate text conversations Too much typing for me, and I prefer hearing the inflections in his voice during conversation. To me, something is lost in text and I don't like feeling tied down to my phone all of the time, I'm notorious for letting it run dead anyway. I'm probably in the minority here, but when it comes to my boy, we both would much rather use voice chat.

[SDPersona]

With us it's more the texting that doesn't seem to agree to us, because he's awkward and I don't always know/understand what he means to say. Webcam conversation on the other hand are almost like the real thing except for the fact that we can't touch each other. Oh, and we both aren't phone people for obvious reasons.

[NaNi]

Gotta agree with Moon. I hate texting. I always take forever and I can't really express myself through one tiny message. It's okay once in a while, but I'd choose Skype talks over texting conversations any day. I'm still absolutely in love with my SO's voice and we can talk for hours without it getting boring. I love talking to her. It makes her seem so much closer as well.

[Madge]

I am like Moon I perfer talking rather than texting and I only charge my phone up every couple of weeks. Nick and I do use viper to sometimes text but I end up getting annyed with how little I can say so I just end of calling him

[Haley53]

I have issues with auditory processing, so for me, it's painfully difficult to use the phone. I can't see any facial expressions or the person's mouth, so the cues I usually have to interpret what's being said are absent. But I do love being on the phone or the webcam for the simple sake of the fact I can hear his voice, and if we have a disagreement, that's generally something I like to talk out via voice, simply because it's easy to misinterpret tone through text. It's easier for me to express myself through text, too. I have a poetic way of constructing things, usually, when I sit down to think about them, and I'm not nearly as poetic verbally. :P But I don't tend to find there's anything lacking between our phone/Skype conversations and our text ones. The only difference is I don't copy paste as many things/don't multi-task when on the phone/webcam to him.

Edit -- There is one thing actually. I can't say "I love you" over Skype. o.O I can say it fine in person, over the phone, through MSN, through text messaging, in a letter, etc. but I can't say it aloud when on webcam at all, not sure why.

[Bethypoo]

Some people really just aren't phone people. But part of knowing you are comfortable with someone is being comfortable with the silence. Sometimes you just want to be together but that doesn't mean you need to have something to talk about every second. And I think we all experience times were we are more comfortable talking about something over text/email/internet as opposed to in person (or skype) or even on the phone. My SO tends to flirt with me more when we are texting and when we are apart in general. But then i miss it when we are together because that is something I love about ore relationship and feel like we lack in person.

But dont be to concerned with always needing to fill the space. I dont think there is anything you should worry about. And maybe if you are, before you actually "see" one another maybe take a day apart from communication. That way you will have more to talk about and maybe feel less awkward.[COLOR="Silver"]

[loveknowsnodistance27]

I'm the opposite. We do rely mostly on text-based conversations, whether it be texting or IM as our primary form of communication. However, we have our best, deepest, most meaningful conversations on the phone. Unfortunately, our schedules are so hectic that we can usually only talk on the phone once a week or every 2 weeks. It was tougher last year because we only got to talk on the phone usually once a month, twice if we were lucky. I so much prefer the phone, I really do and I wish it were possible for us to talk more than we do. I love hearing his voice and I feel like he tends to delay replying to texts sometimes or half-asses his responses whereas on the phone he sounds more like himself and gives me his undivided attention. Hearing his voice gives me a sense of comfort about the whole thing because we can talk for hours (if our schedules allow), like old times. Before we were a couple, we would talk on the phone for hours at least once a week, maybe a few times a week if we were lucky. Those conversations were the best, and our phone calls now remind me of those days.

[Minerva]

I like both, but I really like skyping best. It's so much easier to get into deeper, more complicated conversations when one doesn't have to type everything out. But I'd hate the phone I think. Too much pressure to keep a conversation going.

---------- Post added at 04:40 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:35 PM ----------

Edit -- There is one thing actually. I can't say "I love you" over Skype. o.O I can say it fine in person, over the phone, through MSN, through text messaging, in a letter, etc. but I can't say it aloud when on webcam at all, not sure why.

I wonder if this is because it's impossible to look someone in the eye when on webcam? I don't have a problem saying I love you on Skype, but I do find it awkward. I find myself saying "I love you" while looking his image in the eye, and then realizing to give the impression I'm looking him the eye from his perspective, I have to look at the camera. So there's always this disconnect no matter what.

[Haley53]

I wonder if this is because it's impossible to look someone in the eye when on webcam? I don't have a problem saying I love you on Skype, but I do find it awkward. I find myself saying "I love you" while looking his image in the eye, and then realizing to give the impression I'm looking him the eye from his perspective, I have to look at the camera. So there's always this disconnect no matter what.

It's possible, but I tend to get so much shyer on webcam? It may be the disconnect, I'm not sure. I love camming, don't get me wrong. It's simply I tend to feel quite a bit shy. I never thought it may have to do with the image and perspective, however. I never thought of that. I should pay more attention to where my awkward feelings are stemming from whenever we next get the chance to Skype.

[Silvaria]

Thanks as always for the replies, everyone. It's great to be able to discuss a problem with my LDR without being told everything would be OK if I'd just find someone local, lol...

But dont be to concerned with always needing to fill the space. I dont think there is anything you should worry about. And maybe if you are, before you actually "see" one another maybe take a day apart from communication. That way you will have more to talk about and maybe feel less awkward.[COLOR="Silver"]

I think you hit the nail on the head here. Lately we've had a couple of issues that made me a bit nervous that he was going to leave me (which we've talked about and worked through), so I was trying to constantly fill every silence with conversation. In the past, we've been able to have comfortable silences for long periods of time, but last night I wasn't allowing that to happen, and I think my attempts to stay chatty made things a bit awkward.

So for our next conversation, I'll just let things happen more naturally, and not keep babbling away, lol...thanks so much for the insight, I hadn't even considered that!

[Josephine Falnor]

We aren't phone people, but we love Skype, AIM, and texting. I do notice though that, when I talk to my girlfriend on Skype, it's different from talking on AIM or in texts. She has a certain sound in typed conversations that's different. That probably just means we AIM too much though, if I notice stuff like that. X3

[FadedSunrise]

I like both, but I CAN'T use audio voice chat at home. I'm not supposed to be in this relationship according to the parents(LONG story) >_>, so it has to be kept hush hush. I sit facing the wall when we are video chatting, which involves me typing. Sometimes he'll talk and I'll type back. When I used to have night classes, sometimes we'd have full on video chat after my class. But nowadays I have such early classes I haven't been waiting around to late enough at night(due to the time difference).

He's not a very chatty person in general. In person there is touch, gestures, and expressions, but a lot of the time it will be me rambling.

[Bethypoo]

Glad I could help