Positives of Your LDR

[floridaellen]

This topic was discussed in January but I thought with all the turmoil and such on the boards lately we should discuss it again!

CD relationships have a lot of perks. It sometimes seems like they get to have all the fun and LDR relationships get none. But that isn't true!
What are the positives/perks of your particular LDR relationship?


I'll answer first to help....
For me, a perk is feeling independent without sacrificing love. Throughout my life, I always wanted to be independent. In college I can be that. I'm many states away and have no person other than myself to lean on in person. But I still have the support of my SO on the phone if I need him.

[Bobbiejeanne]

I can pursue my dreams at my college, and he can pursue his. I get to love him with all my without either of us sacrificing the life we want. It's an amazing form of compromise, and I'm glad we have the strength to achieve this.
California and Florida are two different worlds (I would know, I've lived in both now!) and I like this experience! And he likes his back home. Who am I to stop him? Love is giving the other the best they can have.

[Sharon Q]

One of the perks is that now my SO is more emotionally affectionate because he can't physically be here he uses his words more and lets me know how he feels.

I'm also doing better handling my emotions on my own now

[Sora1101]

deeper emotional and mental connection, knowing that he's willing to stick out this insane relationship just for me.

[Minerva]

I've never had this kind of communication in a realtionship before. We're completely open and honest. In part I think this is because our relationship develped online -- all we had was talking, so we did a lot of it.

And while I don't like the distance between us, I do love learning about his culture (which, with him being English and me being American, there aren't a whole lot of differences, but there are enough to make things interesting). I love seeing my country through his eyes (next month will be his first trip ever to the States, and he's so excited by it, and I'm excited to show him around my tiny corner). I also feel at home in England and at his house, so I feel almost as if I have my feet in two countries, and I like that my personal boarders have expanded.

---------- Post added at 01:54 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:52 AM ----------

I've never had this kind of communication in a realtionship before. We're completely open and honest. In part I think this is because our relationship develped online -- all we had was talking, so we did a lot of it.

And while I don't like the distance between us, I do love learning about his culture (which, with him being English and me being American, there aren't a whole lot of differences, but there are enough to make things interesting). I love seeing my country through his eyes (next month will be his first trip ever to the States, and he's so excited by it, and I'm excited to show him around my tiny corner). I also feel at home in England and at his house, so I feel almost as if I have my feet in two countries, and I like that my personal boarders have expanded.

[princessmeg1328]

I have to agree with Minerva. My SO also lives in England and getting to experience England as an everyday person instead of as a student (I did a semester there a few years ago) is completely different. It's fun learning about a whole other culture and experiencing those differences everyday. It's exciting to get to share those differences with someone I love.

[Dziubka]

Independence.
I don't like to admit it, but I have the tendency to become clingy and rely on my partner for everything in relationships. With my boyfriend being 1000km away I have to find other people to rely on for my 'entertainment'.

And like Minerva and princessmeg said, I love learning about his culture and language. I discover new, weird things about Poland on every visit and I can't wait to raise our bilingual binational bicultural children

[RainbowLaura]

My fiance isn't actually leaving the country until tomorrow morning, but we've just said our goodbyes for a few months so I now consider myself in a long distance relationship

I have been trying to think of the positives which will come out of this time apart, and I think that not having the temptation to talk to him every five minutes will help me concentrate on my degree a bit more. I will have to find things to occupy my time, and what better than to throw myself into my uni work.

He also keeps saying how once we've got through this, we can get through anything. I doubt I will ever, ever take him for granted after spending so long apart! I will be so happy to have him back at the end that I won't ever stop smiling

Another added bonus is that he'll be leaving his manipulative mother in Canada! *hehehe*
This also means he'll have to move in with me when he gets back, which we're both really happy about. I doubt my mother would allow that under normal circumstances! Because of this I will have to have a huge clear out of all my old stuff which I should've done months and months ago.

Of course these things don't outweigh the negative experience of being without him for a long time, but there are a lot of positives really

[LatinButterfly]

I second what other members have said: Independence; and since we are both going to school/pursuing our dreams/working on our future, it works great for us.

[NaNi]

Getting to know my SO's country. I probably would've never travelled to New Zealand, but now I've been there twice now and I absolutely love it. I love the country, the people, the food - everything. I feel at home there. It's kinda annoying me how New Zealand is always mentioned now everyhwere. I don't want lots of tourists there or even worse - lots of Germans. It's a beautiful, peaceful little country and I want it to stay that way.

[aamacna]

My relationship is a long distance one (for another 57 days) because I'm studying abroad in Germany and now in Austria. It's something that I've been planning on since I was still in high school. I was already set on going before meeting and starting a relationship with my SO this summer. Therefore, the obvious positive is that I'm able to have this experience that I've wanted for a long time, even if it's difficult to be so far away from him.

Another benefit is his unwavering support while I'm abroad. I can complain to him about teachers or experiences or homesickness and he can give me advice or help me calm down. He brings a sense of normalcy to a situation that could be extremely stressful. Our communication was extremely good to begin with, but this experience has only made it stronger. Plus, I get to find out all the campus gossip through him.

[loveknowsnodistance27]

I really think we've grown up a lot as a couple and as individuals through this distance. We've learned to communicate effectively and have learned how to manage time better. If one of us has a bad day, we know just what to say to make it better, despite the fact that we can't be together physically. We don't take our time together for granted, and we always cherish every minute we do get to spend together. I appreciate the little things now, such as getting a cute text, getting to hear his voice, look at him deeply and longingly into his beautiful brown eyes, getting to smell his scent and feeling his touch when he holds me closely and kisses my lips. I've learned to balance a relationship and still have my own life outside of him, and get my own education at my dream school. I've also been able to experience many things I wouldn't have been able to had it not been for LD. I planned a road trip all by myself in March to visit him, and was able to actually act upon it! I was 18 years old and I organized a trip that was a 7 hour drive, arranged to stay with Anthony in his dorm and planned out all the details by myself. Looking back on that, I don't know many 18 year olds capable of doing that. My SO and I are now 19 years old and I planned a second trip back in August and funded it myself. I flew to visit him this time, and just got back almost 2 weeks ago. I've developed a love for his school and think of it as a home away from home for me. I follow his school's hockey team closely and we went to games both times I visited! My love for Anthony has grown so much because we're apart, and it has only reassured me he's the one that was made for me and that he's the one I will spend my life with. Plus, it's nice not having to shave my legs as frequently lol.

[Madge]

Getting to know my SO's country. I probably would've never traveled to New Zealand, but now I've been there twice now and I absolutely love it. I love the country, the people, the food - everything. I feel at home there. It's kinda annoying me how New Zealand is always mentioned now everywhere. I don't want lots of tourists there or even worse - lots of Germans. It's a beautiful, peaceful little country and I want it to stay that way.

NZ is pretty much amazing. My SO came here and loved it!

Perks of being in a LDR..well we have stronger communication between each other, My SO is British and now lives in the US so I am experiencing different cultures and we are able to be independent.

[Bethypoo]

Being able to focus on what I need to get done in terms of college and be able to achieve my goals. I get his support all of the time but it is nice to know that i dont need to worry. If we are fine and able to survive distance that we are great! Also, i like having that independent feeling. OH! and I feel like i know him so much better from LD than we would have CD, It takes alot more effort in an LD and therefore we are alot more solid than alot of CD relationships.

[iloveacarpenter]

Being apart makes the times we're together that much sweeter. It makes me appreciate every little thing about being with him, which makes our time together so special. Also, we have to talk through everything. Without body language, we learn effectively communicate how we are really feeling and what we are really thinking.