Some of you likely remember my thread about my SO's mother having passed away last Saturday. Since the funeral on Wednesday, things have settled down, but my partner has been requiring quite a lot of me/alone-time. Though this is completely understandable, and though I have handed him the reigns of primary contact, I can't say that I don't miss him or our conversations. I have no intentions of pushing or pressuring him into anything (I really am fine waiting until he's ready/feels fine to talk), but I won't lie and say I don't miss him a shitton. So my question to you is, how do you keep busy?
I'm trying to focus on school and my studies as best as I can - it's difficult, but I'm managing - but it's not enough, and the motivation for digging through my brain power reserve in the first place is hard to find. :/ Movies, television, and reading all seem to have the same effect: they give me too much time to think. I've made plans with a couple people next week - a study "date" and breakfast at someone's residence - and I see my therapist twice next week as well. But it seems that every time I'm alone or my mind starts to wander... Well, I end up near to tears. :/ I was absolutely miserable in my class yesterday morning but passed it off as being symptomatic of my cold. I realise that I do have to face the emotions, but I don't want to face them to the point I'm crying so regularly that it starts interfering with my everyday life. I try to concentrate on the positives, but it's difficult when your emotions tend to manifest themselves as physical symptoms (for example, I get hives when experiencing intense anxiety, and they do not go away with allergy medication but only when the anxieties are no longer present), making them hard to ignore, and perhaps I shouldn't be ignoring them, but I don't want to feel this way. It's hard, and it's effecting my participation in my day-to-day life and my performance in my classes. I'm thinking I might want to take up exercising again once the worst of the cold passes and I'm physically well enough to do so, but what do you do to keep busy if you go through a spell of time of not being able to talk to your SO?
I'm trying to focus on school and my studies as best as I can - it's difficult, but I'm managing - but it's not enough, and the motivation for digging through my brain power reserve in the first place is hard to find. :/ Movies, television, and reading all seem to have the same effect: they give me too much time to think. I've made plans with a couple people next week - a study "date" and breakfast at someone's residence - and I see my therapist twice next week as well. But it seems that every time I'm alone or my mind starts to wander... Well, I end up near to tears. :/ I was absolutely miserable in my class yesterday morning but passed it off as being symptomatic of my cold. I realise that I do have to face the emotions, but I don't want to face them to the point I'm crying so regularly that it starts interfering with my everyday life. I try to concentrate on the positives, but it's difficult when your emotions tend to manifest themselves as physical symptoms (for example, I get hives when experiencing intense anxiety, and they do not go away with allergy medication but only when the anxieties are no longer present), making them hard to ignore, and perhaps I shouldn't be ignoring them, but I don't want to feel this way. It's hard, and it's effecting my participation in my day-to-day life and my performance in my classes. I'm thinking I might want to take up exercising again once the worst of the cold passes and I'm physically well enough to do so, but what do you do to keep busy if you go through a spell of time of not being able to talk to your SO?
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