Need some support or advice or something

[Eric1221]

If you read this-I appreciate it !! Me and my boyfriend have been in a long distance relationship-it's going to be 2 months the 26 of this month . I just wanted to get peoples opinions. Do you ever feel sad when your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn't text you at all? I mean I know that texting isn't everything, but I feel like in a long distance relationship the other person should want to know how you're doing and text you during the day even if it's a simple hello. I feel like I'm always the one who texts first usually and asks how you are-and asks specific questions and stuff. I remember one time I wasn't texting him because i wanted to just give him some time to himself and he texted me aand was like "Why aren't you talking to me ?" And I didn't mind him saying that it made me happy to know he actually wanted to talk but for some reason I feel like if I did that to him I would feel stupid lol. I don't know how to describe it-I just feel silly getting all worked up over him not texting me ever since early this morning but for some reason I just feel like I'm always the one whose trying to talk to him and see what he's up to. I read something before that some people just don't like to text but compared to when we first started dating i felt like he was much more consistant and now he's kinda just backed off. I don't know I don't like being sad over stupid things like this so advice would be greatly appreciated thank you !

[CynicalQuixotic]

I don't know how to describe it-I just feel silly getting all worked up over him not texting me ever since early this morning but for some reason I just feel like I'm always the one whose trying to talk to him and see what he's up to. I read something before that some people just don't like to text but compared to when we first started dating i felt like he was much more consistant and now he's kinda just backed off. I don't know I don't like being sad over stupid things like this so advice would be greatly appreciated thank you !

I can relate to this so much! I have a really bad habit of bottling up my feelings and not speaking my mind because I tend to view my feelings as unimportant or that I'm making a big deal out of a small issue (lots of family baggage with that one), but it's really not a good thing to do, for your sanity or your SO's. I would probably just mention it really casually, like, "Hey, I noticed that we don't text as much as we used to, I miss it!" Your SO probably has just gotten comfortable with the relationship 'routine' of sorts and just doesn't realize that he's dropped his end of the line of communication a bit.

[Sunnyside193]

I found this happened to after a while of being in a LDR. We also went from CD to LD and when he first left we texted all day everyday and it was fairly even. But then he did this less and less. Whats your bf do because he could be busy with what he is doing or enjoying it so finding he is talking to you less. If it bothers you though bring it up when you talk and tell him your worries and concerns and try and work feel it

[Eric1221]

That's true.. I just don't wanna seem like needy or wateva cuz it's not that im needy it just be nice 2 feel appreciated ya kno

[Eric1221]

thank you guys !

[Haley53]

It's also possible your SO has gotten used to you being the initiator. When it comes to my SO and I, I tend to be the one who sends the first text message when in the beginning, it was a gamble to see who would text who first. It's never something I've given much thought to, more that I often get around to it sooner. It used to be similar when it came to him IMing me. I started feeling nervous and insecure because I was always the one IMing him first, and I started worrying about coming off as clingy/needy or as an annoyance. However, when I chose one day not to IM him at all, to let him come to me if he wanted, he came to me with something similar: "why aren't you talking to me?" It turns out that his lack of IMing first actually had to do with quite a significant insecurity that, with time, has gone away almost completely. Perhaps your SO relies on you to text first and because he's so used to the habit of it, gets nervous when you don't? Which would a) keep him waiting round for your text to come through and b) likely stir up an insecurity if you don't. If I were you, I would try not to take it too personally and try not to focus too much on that he doesn't text first. If it's a matter of him not texting as often, then there's nothing wrong with mentioning how you miss texting more, but if it has to do with who texts who first... Well, it's obvious he wants to talk to you and that's about all I'd personally put stock in.

[Eric1221]

thank you so much ! that really made me feel better !

[Jgui]

This is funny i was just complaining to my friend about this today!!

I totally relate to your situtation, my SO almost never text or calls me; im always the on that looks for him first. Ive toldHim before that i'd like to hear from him instead of me always looking for him. He did it for literally 2 days and back to normal. Haha i understand he isnt a big talker/texter and he definitly looked for me more in the beginning before we officially started dating. I kind of just brush it off and understand he isnt gonna change.

If you havent tried talking to him about this then maybe now would be a good time, hopefully that will help.

Good luck and best wishes.