Making sacrafices.(How to cope)

[IdDieForYou]

Hi everyone,

With my SO being so busy lately although he hasn't left long ago and had to because of the work and else he wouldn't get paid and so on.

It seems that he's now unfortunate really busy in the morning at work, working a lot on the computer and such.In the afternoon at work he has TO focus on the study although he gets on skype for me while that to message me and to feel close to eachother in some way knowing the other is right there when we need them.

But this of course ends up in him feeling really tired in the evening so I usually get an hour or so to talk with him on Skype by voice/cam.While it before (although we knew when we could meet again and such already) countles hours at times even when having to go to work the other day.

I support him in everything and know this is temporalily untill he knows more about the exam exact dates and when they finally pass or hopefully maybe inbetween he'll be able to visit.

I just wonder how everyone else copes with a situation like this or if you ever had to make sacrafices?

As in, I want to have all the time I can possibly have with him(when he's able to) maybe sometimes wish we could be together more as before.But I know he asked to take it a bit easy(not relationship wise or so).Because I appreciate so much how he makes all the effort to go work, save up to see me.

But sometimes it can be hard when you just wish to be 'free' and have all the time you want with the person you love, when you mostly sometimes cannot cope so well or feel a bit down.But everyone has their responsibilities and it cannot always be rainbows and butterflies situations as I know.

I'm trying my best to stay positive about this and I know as he told me that this is nothing to change our closeness, it's just to make the atmosphere and the daly things more relaxed.

I just hope I'll also be able to stay strong while feeling not so well and having a few important reponsibilities soon to come which hopefully will turn out well.

How do you guys cope with having 'less' time with your SO?Or just particular changes like that.

[Zephii]

Staying busy. Seriously. When you have free time and you can't send it with them, it's hard. I find working out is the thing that gets me through at the moment, the chemicals released help me overcome the depression not talking to him enough brings me.
For us it's about to get a whole lot worse, because I'm starting a job that will take over the majority of the small amount of time we get, but I already know there's no real answer, no quick fix that's going to make it suck less.

Acceptance is your friend. When you can accept that "this is how it is now" and that it wont last forever, you may get some peace.

[floridaellen]

I agree with the above. Just keep yourself busy. I'm jealous that you get to Skype at all! My SO doesn't have internet.
I tend to do a lot of studying, come on here, got a part time job, anything to make me busier and to allow less time for missing him, if that makes sense.

[IdDieForYou]

Thank you to both of you for sharing your thoughts and opinions about situations like this.
It's just sometimes that you can think such silly things I assume, but it's not something we can always avoid.

I always find ways to make my SO aware that I'm there, I support him, I never want to leave his side or have him leave mine.But I guess I could sometimes just be too much forcing myself to always find ways to express, to let him know about those sentences I just mentioned as in: I'm here for you etc, support you, ....' Because I'm sure even without me showing or saying that, he knows it in each moment of the day.

I just need to remain my calm self and try to stay busy when he is aswell instead of always worrying for nothing I'm certain.I'm going to try and finds ways to also stay busy, even when having some health difficulties currently and being a bit unwell (prevents me to go out, work etc) like study also, learn his language, things like that.It just passed my mind that there's a lot of ways to distract.

Thank you again.

[kiara_silver]

Yep I agree with above posts. Staying busy. When you have to much time on your hands and are free and just waiting around it makes you depressed. Went through this last year, and was a hard time for me. In the end it was me who had to take a step back and make changes. I was used to spending a lot of time with him, and talking daily, and then he was busy and we would go days without talking. I felt a bit neglected, but I didn't see his side of things. And I feel guilty now for having some of the thoughts I did. He was working so hard, and making sacrifices too, i didn't see his side of things.
So I say just make the most of the time you get and have and stay strong. There's not to much you can do, but go with it. Just make the most of the time you do get and at least your communicating, best of luck!

[Ms.Justine]

I try and stay busy, and think about things I need to get done for myself. Whether it be cleaning, working on assignments, work, pampering myself, catching up with friends and family. Anything that I need to do - I usually get done. Just because your man is busy, doesn't mean we aren't either. There's always a list of things that can be done, but love is blinding and kind of casts a veil over ourselves but once you take it off...You realize damn' I have a lot of shit to do! c:

[IdDieForYou]

Thank you for responding.I never looked at it that way, and there was a strong point made-thinking of how he could also feel about this.And to see how he's trying to cope with those changes too.I will try my best to stay distracted and even get the things done that I wanted to do.Worrying seems to only cause sadness and depression, it's the least I want-especially for when I do get to talk to him, I prefer to enjoy it. Hugs and love!

[JEREIANEDREI]

i definitely agree to everyones opinion...yeah they are right,..I myself im on the verge of almost breaking down.,I come to the point that I really cant cope up with the loneliness of being away from him,..from before as he left we had like 24 hours chatting on skype and then a few months past everything changes he gets bored for that kind of set up...then I had to work,.then now i dont have work again and he had to go to school..now that he is busy,..I am the one ever since our LDR started who made a big sacrifice...but then again no regrets but reality it hurts,..coz I know that all these in return,..in due time...in the right time we will be together...for now we've been a year away..and missing him,..drives me crazy...but I need to make myself busy,.nor be positive..for LOVE will keep us together..have faith and be strong...

[Haley53]

My partner's mother recently passed away, which has meant significantly less talk time. I have found that saving the conversations we do get to have together (in our case, it's text messages) gives me something to read over if I'm feeling particularly lonely, or sometimes sending him a text message in the morning, without much of an expectation of a response, helps as well. Other than that, I've been trying to do what others here have said and keep busy. I've been making more of an active effort at university to meet and talk with people, simply because my social life anywhere other than online seems to be lacking. I've been trying to put more concentrated effort into studying. I've been talking with more people online, reconnecting with people I haven't spoken to in ages. I'm thinking I'll be doing NaNoWriMo this November. I'm basically finding other things to do. And it's hard. I miss him like crazy, especially since we went from talking from morning til night each and every day, but I'm hanging in there and doing the best that I can. I think someone else mentioned acceptance, which is also an important thing. Accepting that it is the way it is, I think, gives you less time to sit around moping, and realising that it won't be forever gives you a little more hope to make it through. Keep hanging in there.

[rhomy]

Nothing new to say. Staying busy is the key.
Sometimes it helps me to prepare things for him, like a scrapbook I'm making now to send with some other stuff to him or trying to find a good movie to watch together. That way I am busy but also thinking of him and that makes me feel closer.

Though I get anxious most of the time anyway lol, we don't talk trough skype more than once a week.
He has a lot of work , seriously a LOT and has a little girl so the 4 nights a week she sleeps at his house we don't use skype and the rest of the days it's so difficult for us to chat because of time difference. So we text a lot and send e-mails just that.

[IdDieForYou]

Thanks girls for your comfort and opinions about this/experiences.I found that I also like to stay busy with preparing gifts for him, like a package for our anniversary soon.I'm sure he'll love it.Soon I'll buy the books to study his language, I'm sure it's great to sometimes be able to communicate with his parents and so on-once I master the language better.

I miss him a lot but acceptance will be the key I assume, thanks ladies!(And guys in any case)

[Bethypoo]

Keeping busy is really the best way to deal with it. Making sure you have stuff to get done. And I find not being in the house particularly helps. If I have to study I go to campus because if I am home and need to focus on something for school I will find excuses not to and then end up calling or texting with him.\

As long as you are both okay with the amount of time that is spend "together" then I think it is just a matter of keeping busy. Its gets easier.