Interracial relationships

[MadMolly]

Since we're a crew of long-distancers, a lot of us I imagine will be involved with someone who is from a different country/culture/race etc. It only really occurred to me a few weeks ago that technically I am in an interracial relationship! My guy is Canadian but is from Bangladesh. So, when I was there, not only was I noticing little differences in NZ vs Canada lifestyles (there are more than I expected!) but I also got to see the Bengali influence on his life which was pretty cool. (he made me the best. curry. ever.)

I did notice a couple times when we were together and being coupley that people (in both cases here, old ladies) would give funny looks and one comment which the only words I caught were "white girl" so I assumed it was a racist remark. I was kinda taken aback because it never entered my head that some people would notice that sort of thing. Then, when I put some photos up on my facebook, some family members who I BARELY speak to made a big fuss and told my grandmother about it and oh my god! I couldn't believe it was even an issue whatsoever. It really surprised me people still have these weird opinions. I thought the main issue would be that he lives in Canada, not the fact he has brown skin - but no!

Who here is in an interracial (or intercultural?) relationship? Has anything about race been an issue whatsoever? Share stories

(a favourite bit - seeing the contrast of skin on skin! Soooo hot. Mmmm.)

[Laura_N]

Well, my SO has always lived in Scotland but her mother and father moved there from Pakistan and India. Her skin colour is slightly more... yellowish/darker than mine, and her hair is natural black, so that's where you can see it. I love it to be honest, her hair and her skin.

We haven't spent that much time together face to face yet that I'd be able to tell much other differences, altough her beliefs are showing in what she eats.

[milaya]

I'm in a interracial relationship, but haven't experienced much negativity, yet.
Only my father, who doesn't like the fact that I'm dating a Japanese. My father doesn't know much about the world either, and he especially doesn't know anything about Japan. It often seems like he sees himself better than my SO. Also because he has the idea that Japan is some kind of underdeveloped country.
When my SO and I talk, my father even sometimes likes to interrupt with saying weird sounds... which he declares to be Japanese. (sounds more like a dying cat).

My grandfather for some reason ... also had the idea that my SO's family was living in a small house made of leaves from palm trees...
Seriously? Japan? One of the richest nations in the world. Who did they think gave the world, Nintendo, Sony and Toyota?

Sometimes it also seems like people on the street are very surprised about the fact that he is my SO and not just a Asian penpal I'm showing around. Other than that I've experienced getting disapproving looks from people on the street when we speak Japanese together...

In Japan ... I haven't experienced much. Expect that people on the street likes to say to each other that I look like a doll, when they think I can't hear them. (but doll, is a very positive thing... so I'm not bothered).

I'm really looking forward to how our possible, future children may look like. How our racial features blend and etc. And I love his black hair and dark brown eyes <3

[LilyChiba]

As I've stated in another thread somewhere around here, my SO is a half black/half white American, but you can tell that one side definitely influences more than the other. Everyone he knows is black, whereas for me, everyone I have known has been white. I've had comments in my family that are less than desirable and racist, but there is nothing I can do about their narrow-mindedness. Personally, I don't care what colour anyone is at the end of the day, I'll treat everyone equally unless they give me a reason not to. That said, he is the first person I have been with that wasn't white lol. Where I live, despite being a heavy tourist influenced area, I actually haven't seen many coloured people except maybe asians. Either way, I love him and nothing will change that. No matter what anyone tells me.

[11MikesGirl21]

I'm the product of an interracial relationship--my mom's black and my dad's white. My boyfriend as you can tell by my picture is white. It's normal for me.

[lucybelle]

I guess we're sort of interracial, I'm white and he's Hispanic. But he's a pretty white Hispanic And I'm a sort of Hispanic white person. More white than Hispanic... jaja!

It's definitely a cultural difference between us. My family doesn't give a crap, in fact my mom is ecstatic that I'm "purging the German blood out of the family" no offense Germans My mom's side is Cuban and is pretty damn proud of that heritage despite the fact that none of us have ever been to Cuba.

But anyways, I actually made a post about this in the Vets section I think. My SO says, what I consider, some pretty racial crap that pisses me off. Costa Rica is a very "white" Hispanic country and they're proud of it. They also think they're better than other more indigenous Hispanic countries (Mexico, Nicaragua, Guatemala, etc). So he makes jokes sometimes that I, being raised in the southern USA, find to be extremely inappropriate. We've talked about it, and well, you can't change over night. We're both working on seeing things from the other's point of view.

[mllebamako]

We haven't really encountered too many problems being in an interracial relationship. Then again, we're in Mali and people usually have really high opinions of white people, so we get a lot of compliments, etc.

It wasn't a big deal to either of our immediate families either. Both of our families are really open and this isn't the first time I've been with someone from a different race so it wasn't a surprise. The only issue is my grandfather, who is a huge racist and he is also very sick (dementia/Alzheimer's). My parents have, so far, decided that it's best to keep it from him. I personally hate lying and hate not to be open about things. So that has brought on a little drama. But I barely talk to my grandfather anyway so I figure it's more up to my parents to decide that.

Even though being from different cultures makes things more complicated, I wouldn't change it. And, like you said, I love the contrast of our skin colors together.

[folclor]

see, my boyfriend and I are both white and from English speaking (for the majority) countries. I'm from Texas (United States) and he's from Alberta (Canada) (yes, I use provinces/states more often than countries, I know I"m weird). I wouldn't think there were that many differences because most people assume there really aren't. And first couple visits I didn't think there were but now that I'm living here it is so much different. Expectations of when to do what (Texas: marriage, then move in, Alberta: move in, then get married) in relationships and so on. And, while I've experienced some interest in the fact that I'm from Texas specifically ("do you ride horses everywhere?" "wow, I thought the only cities were Dallas and Austin!" "So you DO have electricity?"), I've also experienced mild stand-offishness to general discontent from others about my place of origin. It's odd, it seems that people here either expect me to be a cowgirl with quaint country mannerisms (and know how to do the hoe-down/square dancing) or some arrogant rich girl who has never had to do a thing in her life ^^;

It's very odd... I don't think it's all bad, but it's different adjusting. And fielding questions about country of origin is really weird. Expectations from both cultures is odd, too. And my boyfriend claims that Canada has no culture ^^; it does. ^^; it truly does.

EDIT: Also, I realize that this sounds like it doesn't pertain to the question. I mean, it's the US and Canada for goodness sake, how different could they be? But, seriously, it is definitely living in another country. It's just, luckily, another country that I don't have to learn a different language to function in. ^^;; Things are done and expected in such a different manner. It's harder to explain and every time I try I don't feel entitled to because I know people look at me and think I'm just being over-dramatic. However, it is quite a shocker coming here from Texas.

[Xanahtas]

Im in an interracial relationship too - My SO is from Canada but originally from India (his dad is indian and his mum half indian half portugese). I was walking around with my SO in my home city and i did get a few funny looks from, like you, Old people! It didnt occour to me really that people would be bothered about it, but people are. Even my mum said she doesnt agree with it but none the less, supports us. Actually i find his culture all very interesting, and it doesnt bother me that he is a different colour or from india. Never really thought about it i guess. Despite the fact he is indian by origin, his views and morals are no different from anyone else from Canada.

[Ms.Justine]

both myself and my SO are products of an interracial relationship. Liek MikesGirl our mothers are white and our fathers are black. So it's kind of cool we both are mixed. c:

[Zapookie]

Well I am mixed white and asian, and my SO is mixed white and black. My mother, coming from a country that was colonised by the french and in a society that saw black people as the lower class. She does not like the fact that my SO is even remotely coloured, she wanted me to marry a white man. She was like "you know your babies are going to be somewhat black?" And I was like "no, really??? I wonder why that would be?". She is just stuck in her old ways as my mum is somewhat older and had me at a late age. She let him stay with us though when he was here for 3 months, so that's at least a start

All my friends don't really care, it's more the older generations I think who might whisper and gossip.

[Shadowbear]

Im white and my boyfriend is mixed With Puerto Rican and Jamaican. We haven't experienced any negativity yet. Not even when we go out in public. I guess people around where I live are pretty much accepting. I love the contrast of skin colors we have together. Im really pale and he is kinda dark lol its so sexy !

[killerkaytee]

Chris is Mexican and I am white and we never think of our races. They have never been an issue to us and both of our familes are very accepting of each other. I think its fun learning about the differences between us =)

[yayagrl]

I'm in an interracial relationship as well. I'm black and my SO is half Irish half Scottish, but was born in America. We haven't met yet. Neither of our families will care, but I'm more concerned about reactions from other people. He lives in a small town and I know how some older people are sometimes about interracial relationships. I've already gotten a taste of what it's like in a way as I have a friend who is black, white, and italian and when we go to certain places down here we get funny looks and sometimes even stared at. I'm used to it, but I dunno how my SO will react as I'm the first black girl he's dated

[Eric1221]

I'm gay and I'm in an interracial relationship. I'm white and my boyfriend is black. We have gone out together to the beach and out to eat but nobody really said anything. I mean people did stare but nobody said anything. Usually when were out in public we act like friends and try not to draw too much attention to it. It does suck though the world we live in because unfortunately it's not the "norm" to society so no matter what people will always make judgements, stare and harass other people. I just don't get how it has anything to do with other people when it's your own relationship. People need to learn to mind their business and live and let live. I don't care though-peoples judgements won't break us up! You'll be fine ! You got the support of your boyfriend ! And friends and family I assume. WISH U NOTHIN BUT THE BEST !