Interracial relationships

[Swederica]

I recently ended an interracial relationship. However there were mostly the contrast in culture that was prevailing.
Some things here in US simply is considered ok or natural that is a big nono in Sweden. Something she failed to comprehend and something I couldn't get past.

[princessmeg1328]

I'm in a interracial and intercultural relationship. My SO is English and Caucasion whereas I'm from the US and Hispanic. Most people don't say anything about it, and we don't really get weird looks. I think it's because the area he lives in has a lot of Americans in it and are used to seeing people of different nationalities. My family is very supportive, and as far as I know, so is his. I think people actually have a bigger problem with the fact that he's 10 years older than me then anything else.

[books]

I'm Italian/American and my SO is Nicaraguan. For me, it's such a non-issue, I don't even think about it. All of my serious relationships have been with Hispanic men...first SO was Honduran, second was Dominican and now I'm with my SO. My Mom has still not really accepted my current relationship, but it's less about him and more about the fact my plans involve moving to his country. When I'm with my SO in his country, no one really bothers us. Due to my looks (olive skin, dark eyes, black curly hair) I often get mistaken for being Nicaraguan. So, as far as people staring in the street...no. My SO will get compliments when we're out together from other guys based on the fact that he's with a "chela" (light skin girl)...this is really due to the fact my SO is dark-skinned so it's seen as a step-up (common way of thinking there).

Any judgements people have made about my relationship with my SO have really been based on the fact that he is poor and from a very poor country. I'm sure the sentiment would be different if I was dating some well-off European guy.

[MadMolly]

see, my boyfriend and I are both white and from English speaking (for the majority) countries. I'm from Texas (United States) and he's from Alberta (Canada) (yes, I use provinces/states more often than countries, I know I"m weird). I wouldn't think there were that many differences because most people assume there really aren't. And first couple visits I didn't think there were but now that I'm living here it is so much different. Expectations of when to do what (Texas: marriage, then move in, Alberta: move in, then get married) in relationships and so on. And, while I've experienced some interest in the fact that I'm from Texas specifically ("do you ride horses everywhere?" "wow, I thought the only cities were Dallas and Austin!" "So you DO have electricity?"), I've also experienced mild stand-offishness to general discontent from others about my place of origin. It's odd, it seems that people here either expect me to be a cowgirl with quaint country mannerisms (and know how to do the hoe-down/square dancing) or some arrogant rich girl who has never had to do a thing in her life ^^;

It's very odd... I don't think it's all bad, but it's different adjusting. And fielding questions about country of origin is really weird. Expectations from both cultures is odd, too. And my boyfriend claims that Canada has no culture ^^; it does. ^^; it truly does.

EDIT: Also, I realize that this sounds like it doesn't pertain to the question. I mean, it's the US and Canada for goodness sake, how different could they be? But, seriously, it is definitely living in another country. It's just, luckily, another country that I don't have to learn a different language to function in. ^^;; Things are done and expected in such a different manner. It's harder to explain and every time I try I don't feel entitled to because I know people look at me and think I'm just being over-dramatic. However, it is quite a shocker coming here from Texas.

I totally understand!! Even though NZ seems like it would be really similar, Canada DOES have lots of unique cultural quirks that take some getting used to. and I got a ton of the "So do you have electricity in NZ? stuff. *rolls eyes* Old over-used joke but EVERYONE thinks it's so witty!

Also, you're another of the Edmonton crew right? there's a few of us here!

[CanadianGirl]

I'm South Asian (Canadian) and he's Hispanic (American). My family is very "traditional" and interracial relationships are primarily taboo. Heck, dating is a little taboo, as arranged marriages are very common still. And arranged, in the sense, that the parents introduce their kids to "acceptable" suitors and the kids then choose from there. My mother exploded when I told her about us..for many, many reasons. I kept it from her for nearly 7 months because I was honestly afraid of what her reaction would be. She seems to handle it better now, which is a huge relief.

We'll get looks every now and then. I suspect most of it is because I'm 5'0 and he's 6'4 We notice it mostly comes from older people of my background. Once his uncle asked why he wasn't with one of "their" women (not when I was right there, but I was in the house). My SO told him exactly why he's with me and how happy I make him. The uncle quickly shut up about it. I'll chalk it up to jealousy, since that uncle's marriage recently went south.. My SO's immediate family have all been really wonderful. To be honest, I like the stares, good and bad. It makes me feel closer to him, and I enjoy making ignorant people uncomfortable.

On the positive side, there is everything else. It's sooo sexy when he speaks Spanish. It's fun learning new words, and I plan on teaching him some Tamil too. We stumble across words that are actually similar in both languages, which is pretty cool. And he has such gorgeous skin (flawless!) and thick, black hair. I find it hysterical when he refers to my skin as chocolate or mocha.

It's odd talking about the interracial thing. We have so much in common that I really never think about it.

[folclor]

I totally understand!! Even though NZ seems like it would be really similar, Canada DOES have lots of unique cultural quirks that take some getting used to. and I got a ton of the "So do you have electricity in NZ? stuff. *rolls eyes* Old over-used joke but EVERYONE thinks it's so witty!

Also, you're another of the Edmonton crew right? there's a few of us here!

Haha, yeah, I'm in Edmonton. Are you here, too? o.O for some reason I thought you were in Ontario...

[MadMolly]

I was there a few weeks ago, back in April for a semi permanent move!

[uniquefem]

Why yin yang the symbol of "Strength" in Asia is consist of two different colors? two dots on each side of different colors? do you know that based on this symbol the differences actually strengthen each other and create a unique powers when the differences combined?

The wikipedia said: Yin Yang is used to describe how polar opposites or seemingly contrary forces are interconnected and interdependent in the natural world, and how they give rise to each other in turn.


I am Asian girl, from Sumatra island in Indonesia, South East Asia, my SO originally from Russia but reside in Germany.

If you talk about differences.. oh boy... i could say over 800kms distance between us and over 8000 differences between us too. My part of Indonesia very traditional and very thick with culture that mixed between Arabic, Chinese, and local culture.
My family are scared of Caucasian in general-scared of things that they don't know..languages, life style and everything.
I determined to join a group called Co*ch Su*fing and hahahahah should look at my mom face when my first guess from Australia "check in" at my living room couch. As a very good polite host my mom can not say no and closed the door. The first guess only stay for 3 days.. but oh my so many laughs!! the last one is from Germany and my grandmother comes.. i was freaking out hahahah... especially one day my grandma found that guy woke up in morning walk around the house just use boxer!! my bad! its too hot for him to wear clothes to sleep, but while the family around he should wear something for sure!! but my grandma just ..oh well... shes a grandma

And that's where the whole things changed.. my sisters speak English and finally know how important to know at least 1 international language. I tried to let them see... what the call "bule" or white skin or western people not that bad. They just watch Baywatch or BH 90210 too much that they think only bad stuff about you guys! eg the sex freedoms at young age, no value in marriage that cheating is seemed pretty normal and divorce are too easy, and how poor your country with culture (no folk dance, no traditional dress, no traditional wedding ceremony etc)..well very judging things ..sad..but this is back then!!

So i guess.. when my SO come here.. my family would love him. No doubt about it. But while in city... well to be honest i do careless about what people think.

I used to walk to stores with my bosses from Canada or Oz or Italy to my very small city in Sumatra jungle. People will want to take pictures with them think they're handsome (the fact that they're over 50?and some over weight??haha) but mostly will think i am their mistress... oh well i am the secretary, and my city does well known as source of oil and gas so its made sense to had expat bosses. But still...its sad when they think i am just an escort when my SO come

Back to my SO...
This is the very first time i know Russian in my life... first time i heard Russian speaking in native language... tickle my tummy and my brain to know what he's saying (google translate asap). There are goods and bad but... so far he just almost the same like Indonesian guys...he know about my religion and respect it.. oh... i don't like his culture that man had to provide woman everything hahah and he should take care everything that made my independent side "pinched" but when he did that i kept in mind that he just want to spoil me and i don't mind as i never ask this treat from anyone else but him!
He is very polite that he will pull my chair, and he open door for me. He will ask me what would i like to eat and not to order for me (hahah i would be mad, unless if i can't understand the menu and ask him).

He doesn't like PDA, he feel uncomfortable... since.. oh well.....some of his friends at work often went to one famous country in Asia just to have sex trip/get laid-that's what they call it, and the girls from that country had same skin colors and almost no different than me he want me to look more respectable, and ..haha no.. he never told me what to wear but i can not stand 17 degrees with tank top lol i wear my turtle neck! its mostly me who gave him a small kiss on cheek while we're crossing the street holding hands (he smile) or he will put my hair to back of my ears while we talk at Starbucks.. while we walk i know i get some attention haha i am asian with 173cm/5"6 height so.. yeah in some places where most of people had very blonde hair and white skin i would be like a black spot on a white paper but i just smile to everyone and my SO of course comfort my suddenly low self esteem!

About family value... oh well.. even the fact that he's the only child... he didn't communicate with his parents that well.. family not seemed the very first thing for him.. very different than me.. my sisters drive me nuts 24/7 can't live with them can not live without them!

We both mostly had same value.. and we could works on our differences if someone say bad thing about me he will stood by me.. or tell me the customs etc (i never eat with complete set forks, spoons, and different plates..aarrgghh) we learn lots of things and we enjoy it

And yes... we can't wait to see our very first born child... he/she will be amazing mix! (lol he wants them to speak very good Russian while i want to stick to my Indonesian and haha English in between..its crazy!!)

Ohh i love the skin contrast! my light brown skin and his Europe pinkish pale skin....

[DemonxOisin]

I'm a white girl, and my SO is pure Mexican :P

Oh man. He lived in a small town in BC (Canada) last year, and when I visited him, we would actually get some really dirty looks from people walking down the street. It's amazing, and it's something I honestly never expected to see. I guess I take living in Toronto (Very big, very liberal city) for granted.

And another thing! I've ranted about this before on here, but my dad's family is so bleeping racist! When my Grandmother died last March, it was the first time that side of my family has gotten together in a long time. When I saw my Uncle for the first time (in a loong while) the only thing he could think of to say to me was "So you're dating a Mexican, eh? *Insert tone of extreme disapproval here*" WHAT. You an't even give your condolences for my dead grandmother?! And my aunt just started going on and on about "Oh, you have to watch out for those Mexicans you know, they are all womanisers and players and the like. He probably has three other girlfriends you know. You had better watch out for him."

GTFO. Miguel is more honest than ANY ONE of you, and treats me with more respect as well. Racist bastards.

[Sano]

Im in a interracial relationship. So far it hasn't been an issue for us. My family already expected out of me. The only thing about it is Im not sure how much his father is open to the idea.

[Jgui]

I'm in my 1st interracial relationship. I'm Asian and he is Caucasian. We havent experienced any negativeity and both our families are supportive. I guess the real down part is my mom speaks no English so communication between them is tough

[beckychan]

My boyfriend is also Mexican! And I'm white (but I'm part native american as well, but more white than anything).

The two of us have never really experienced any racism directly. One of my old best friends, after finding out I was in an LDR with a mexican, the judgements started flying. She basically started talking to me like, 'What am I doing with someone who's Mexican?' I was pretty pissed.

For the most part though, no that knows about us has said anything in regards to our relationship. Neither of our families know, and I'm not too sure how they will take it. My mom DOES know about him, that it's an LDR and his name, but I don't know if she realizes how Mexican he is and all that stuff.

[13000km]

I'm a Chinese Singaporean, he's Caucasian American. It's a good mix. We don't have any issues with it, but have had some pretty strange reactions. My friends think all americans are promiscuous and expects us (him) to be too. His mum doesn't know much about Singapore, thinks Mandarin is my native language, and that I've never had lasagna. We've had to remind her regularly that Singapore is a more westernised, English speaking (despite our accents), developed country. We've gotten some "you're cute"s, which is always nice. (: And today, he's dressed as an asian for halloween!

[rsvpnj]

My SO is from Norway (born there and raised for the first few years of his life). He spent his teen years in Califoria. I am Puerto Rican. We definitely have huge cultural differences.

[msskunk]

I'm Indonesian and my SO is German. I think a lot of difference between us including religion and cultural background.
The most problem will come to my family because they never have white friends, and their mindset about westerner mostly negative. My brother asked me why I want to have LDR with someone that have different cultural background, he worried if finally I getting hurt again.