dont want to do it anymore...

[Minerva]

It might be as many as 9 years before my SO and I can close the distance. I can't think "9 years" or I'd fall apart. Right now I'm thinking, "23 days" because that's his next visit.

I'm older and I've been in a couple of horrible long-term relationships with men who were not at all right for me. When my son was 7 months old, my husband left me. He's 9 years old now. In all the time since my divorce, I was so shattered I only dated 2 people -- neither serious and neither long-term. I didn't think a healthy relationship was in the cards for me. Then I met my SO. My lovely, silly, genius SO. I would walk through hell for him -- he is who I love. This man is pure, shining gold. To be without him is so much worse than the distance or time. I wish we could close the distance, but knowing he's out there in the world fills me with joy that overshadows the sorrow of the distance.

My son is 9. It seems like he was born yesterday. Years go by so much faster than when I was younger. I can wait, because at the end of the wait is a man worth waiting for.

I agree with Moon. Not everyone is cut out for this. It takes a certain mindset that the relationship is worth more than the pain. If you don't have that mindset, if this is killing you, perhaps this isn't something you can do. No judgement in that; we all have our limits. But you truly need to do some soul searching to see if this is something you can do. And perhaps start to think of it as Moon suggested: look forward to your next visit, not closing the distance.

*hugs* and best of luck.

[cybunny]

I find myself thinking this from time to time! My SO is my first partner after I left my husband! We have been LD for 4 years now, and with my 29 birthday around the corner I sometimes worry that I am wasting my young life waiting for this man. I also get the what if's... What if it doesn't work out and I wasted 4 years of my young adult hood where I could have done other things or met other people! Sometimes I look at it like I have invested 4 good years of my life on this relationship, and now it's too late to turn back!

[Dziubka]

I think about this a lot.
Basically almost everytime one of us leaves or when I'm spending €€€ on planes or trains or packing, I think that I'm sick of this long distance shit. I want to be with my boyfriend. All the time. Not only for a long weekend every few weeks. I know I say this in like every second post, but I'm really not the type for a long distance relationship. I literally can't understand how you all manage with bigger distances and fewer visits. I couldn't do it.
But the next thought after the "this sucks. I don't want to do this anymore!" is "What's the alternative?"
Breaking up? Not an option.
Dropping out of uni? Not an option for me or for him either.

I don't like that we're long distance, but the alternatives are even worse. So I'm sticking with it and try to make the most out of it.

I'm not sure if that was of any help. It's normal to have sick-of-this feelings, but consider the alternative(s)...

[Bethypoo]

Education is sooo important. And if he means that much to you then you will be able to figure it out. But dont ever think that a guy is more important than school he is important but so is the rest of your life.

[Shadowbear]

Sweetie, no one likes having to leave their SO. We get through it because we know that we would rather feel this pain than feel the pain of never being able to be with them again. When I had to watch my SO leave on the bus ... I collapsed from crying. I couldn't function couldnt sleep for weeks. But I know I would rather feel this than have to feel never being able to see him ever again. Long distance relationships are extremely hard . You have to be strong. You have to keep in your head that in just a few short (enter amount of time here) We will be together again , and look forward to the time you will spend together not to the past about missing him. Its ok to cry, its ok to miss him, we all understand that . Your question should be.. can i live the rest of my life knowing I gave up on something that was so hard for me to leave for a few months? Good luck Sweetie , just remember .. the parting while it may be hard as hell... is not forever..