Him being...hesitant to visit?

[ILoveYou123]

He has visited before, it was only for a day because of work and such, which was fine with me. But he lives about 500 miles away, in gas it'd cost at most $150 here and back, and then like a cheap hotel for a daay or two wouldn't cost much either. He lives alone so its rather reasonable. Its been about four months since his last visit. WHY won't he come visit? He insists its because of work and whatever but he came last time without any issue. I ask and he seems to get off the topic quickly and gets defensive.

[Swederica]

Maybe it is simply because he can't get enough time off to do a 1000 mile long drive commitment. If you think about it, doing that in a weekend is quite a feat.
If you press the matter too far then yes, he'll become defensive. Have you thought about visiting him?

[Engel]

did you ever visit him? do you plan to/can afford to?

[floridaellen]

He may have an actual excuse but I don't think you are at all wrong for being upset about that.
Have you visited him?

[rhomy]

Why don't you suggest visiting him? Or meeting at a half way point? So he won't have to travel that much and you will be able to spend more time together.
How many times have you visited him? Maybe he doesn't want to be the one that visits all the time.
And I think you shouldn't push it very hard because it works the other way and he will hesitate.

I know the way you feel, sometimes I think my SO doesn't wanna visit me and I get so upset, but then I remember he is extremely busy and the real reasons why he can't.
How is the rest of your relationship? Is he distant or different all the time? Or he only gets defensive when you talk about visits?

[Semperfikindoflove]

I know how that can be, whenever my ex came home on leave he didn't want to spend anytime with me and got all defensive when I asked him about it. It hurts but honestly, it does sound like he is just busy with work. If it becomes a major issue that lasts a lot longer then I would worry about it but right now I think you're fine. Just take a breather. Like everyone else said, maybe come to a compromise or something like that? Switch off going to each place to see each other? Keep your head up, things will get better!

[ILoveYou123]

I cannot go there to visit him for various reasons, he knows that.
He won't even talk to me though about why he won't visit. He just ignores it or says we'll talk about it later.

[Jgui]

The 1000 mile drive is pretty dreadful especially if driving alone. Southwest and VA always have special deals, fly 1 way for $50, that's a possibility. Or you guys can meet half way.

[Haley53]

I cannot go there to visit him for various reasons, he knows that.
He won't even talk to me though about why he won't visit. He just ignores it or says we'll talk about it later.

I do want to note that living alone might actually be harder. :P If he's in an apartment that means he's handling rent, food, utilities, etc. all on one paycheque as opposed to there being a roommate involved, where everything is usually split.

How long has it been that he's continued to say "we'll talk about it later?" though, is my question. If it's not been too long, then perhaps you need to give him a fair chance to wait until it's the right time to bring it up to you. If it's been a while and this is repetitive and ongoing, then perhaps it's something you need to sit him down and be firm about. Have you made time to talk to him about it? Has he? It also might be an idea if you could help pitch in to reimburse him for gas or a stay at the motel.