3 days to go

[lysie]

Sighs

I am feeling pretty sick. Had a good conversation with my SO earlier today and he said to ring back at 8.30pm i did and there was no reply.

I have had alot of time to think over everything and i am reading old messages and the way we use to talk before the last 3months and it is making me feel even more worried.

Maybe i did somthing that has pushed him away?
Maybe he is sick of me?

I just wish more then anything he would talk to me. this time it feels so different

Last few visits we planned together and he seemed very excited. this time i did everything myself as he said he was "too busy" to help. when i ask to discuss the visit he says. whats there to discuss im picking u up at 8.30 right? so i am feeling a little empty and i cannot stop worrying.

One minute he seems so loving and caring and then he is angry. Maybe he is stressed and work is hard and hes trying to get through the next few days without fighting over the phone?

Im unsure.... I just feel deep down somthing isnt the same. and i was always told that if somthing was up he would tell me....

Has anyone else been in a situation where their SO has became a lot busier then they are and they found it very hard? or has anyone else felt this nervous about going to see their partner.

any advice would be great.

[Zapookie]

You have to tell him that its not on - for him to keep shutting you down when you try to talk to him, that is. Communication is extremely important in any relationship, and the fact that he doesn't want to discuss anything must be difficult.

My SO used to shut me out a couple of times in the early stages of our relationship. He would just stop talking to me and never initiate conversation, or he would give me one word answers. It was really frustrating and upsetting at times. I had to push and push and push to get him to talk to me until he gave up being a jerk and spilled the beans. He was worried about getting to close to me and was trying to distance himself.

Now I'm not really sure what's going on with your SO, and neither are you, so the only way you're gonna find out what's going on is by talking. If he's going to cut you off or change the subject, you tell him that he needs to hear you out and that you want to discuss this issue maturely, otherwise there's no point in continuing, is there? If there's no communication, what do you have? Does a loving partner purposely shut down their partner everytime they want to have a conversation about a serious issue? No.

Best of luck and please know that we are always here for support. Keep us updated!

[lysie]

Thankyou and yes it makes alot of sense. i have been thinking about everything alot tonight and are sick of him making everything out to be my fault. so i will see how the next couple of days go.... if i dont get proper contact from him and i arrive in canada and he isnt there i will be staying at his parents most likely (i get along with them really well) maybe he will come around so i can discuss things and let him know what a jerk he has been to me. because as it gets closer me coming i am realising he may indeed have somthing to hide. which will be heart breaking for me but ill get through it..... either way going to canada is the only way for me to get through this stage of my life. its been 3 years and i demand answers.... i deserve them. sighs. i just found out an old friend of mine commited suicide..... i rang him forgetting the time difference. (it was like 5am there) so i sent a text apologising and asked him to contact me when he got the chance......so looks like its the waiting game. i need him bad at the moment. and im pretty sure if he does not contact me its a sure sign he is lieing..... because its a definate time of need.

[savoie-truffle]

Okay I just need you to breathe!

I read your other post the other day and I think you just need to calm yourself because it cant be fun worrying this much
Im not even in a situation nearly as bad but Im pretty sure Im driving myself nuts worrying as well.

Ok as for you SO I think what I said on your last post (or at least what I maent to post) is that maybe you just need to talk face to face. Im sure that is a REALLY scary thought but its obviously not working otherwise. He really shouldnt be getting snappy or whatnot with you but in reality he is so maybe stop trying to force it til you get there.

As for the lack of interest in talking and such the advice I keep hearing is that he is just a guy. What I know and what my mother keeps telling me to watch out for is when that turns into him not realizing how lucky he is to have you. I like to think that my bf is actually busy and forgetful but ultimately its starting to hurt me when he doesnt talk to me so it is something I need to bring up with him. So I tihnk you are completely justified in doing so but if the response is just making it worse I would let it be for a bit.

As for visiting I know entirely what you mean and for me it wouldnt even be nearly as scary as I have family and friends where he is at. I am finiding it terrifying to spend the money to visit at Xmas and the chance that he wont have time for me or wont be excited to see me.. he just keeps brushing it off and saying of course he will be excited and of course he will try to spend as much time with me. but still its SCARY and I think when you already have all these doubts it can only make things worse.

Here is the thing you've already said you can refund it so you have to make the best of it right! When you get there just be happy to see each other, give him a nice warm hug and a sweet kiss. Dont push all the negative thoughts in your head upon him right away just get comfortable... It will be a lot easier for you to gauge the situation when you are there. Just let things play out, if you still dont think he is valuing you enough then give him some space and do something you've really wanted to do when you visit! His loss.

---------- Post added at 08:08 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:05 PM ----------

also just read about your friend and the fact that you are waiting on your SO to get back to you.

If you need anything feel free to send me a PM It doesn't sound like you are having a good week at all so just stay strong !!

[LuvSsw]

You are not alone. Just read some of my posts and you'll see what I mean. I am meeting my SO in 24 hours and have been having the same sort of issues..and this is out FIRST meeting. I am nervous as heck and I'm trying to stay calm...but when he acts..well..indifferent ....it sends the nervousness meter into overdrive. One thing I am trying to remember is what a man once told me..and that is that they are totally different from us in the way they think and the way they approach things. So just because I may not do such and such a thing because i KNOW it would be hurtful..a man may not view it the same way.*Love....how we chase thee* Feel free to message me

[Bethypoo]

You really just need to bring it up to him. Let him know how you feel. Let him know you are not tying to attack him but that you just want to make sure that you arent missing anything and that things are alright. If one of you isnt really into the relationship anymore then it is something that needs to be discussed. Because just sitting here and pushing you away like that is even more torture. Not knowing just sucks.

So just talk to him about it.

[princessmeg1328]

I agree with Bethypoo. You're going to be there soon (or are already there) so just talk to him. Let him know that what he's doing is really hurting you and the relationship. I think this is one situation where you're going to have to be completely honest and put your heart out there so that he completely understands just how much you're hurting over his lack of communication. Communication is one of the most important things in any relationship but especially a LDR. Wait a day to see how things are going between the two of you and to settle in and then talk to him the next day. I think the only way you'll feel better is if you tell him what you've been going through.