Is this the end?--Advice, please.

[keypatalina]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 11 months, he lives in Pittsburgh and I'm in Philly, but now things are strained because I graduate in the
Spring and will be going back to Florida to take the bar while he is unsure of where he will be able to find a job by then. The plan was for him to find a job wherever he wanted, since he hates his current job and wants to get out of his hometown, and I would move to him or vice-versa...but now there's a
gaping whole in the plan because he doesn't think he can find another job at all with the current economy and is getting scared of moving down to FL.
I've given him several contacts for jobs and he isn't doing anything with them, I've also thought of a lot of options, none of which he seems
willing to try. He says that he loves me and knows he won't find another girl like me, that I'm the only person he can be himself around, and he doesn't want to lose me...I'm really running out of options and am just torn apart at the thought of losing the one person that I've ever really connected with, but if neither of us want to break up and none of the solutions are the right one, I'm not sure what else to do and am just wondering and dreading that this
is the end. Any advice would be great.

[Ms.Justine]

If you guys have been in a LDR this long, and you both think its worth it. Hold out a little longer until you both can create a solution to this problem - or until he finds work. If he's not putting in the effort though it says a lot about his commitment to you and how much he wants to be with you. You can't do all the work for him - you're not his mother. I was the exact same way with my ex - and it didn't turn out so good. I got fed up with his excuses and lack of maturity and said enough was enough. It was hard letting him go - but it was also one of the best decisions I could have ever made for myself.

[Semperfikindoflove]

Just give it some time I think you guys can pull it off. You guys have been together a while and if you're this close to closing the distance, I'd give it one last push and pull. I wish you the best of luck, keep your head up. It's hard to do especially trying to coordinate where you two will finally end up together but you're almost there

[Jgui]

I agree with Ms.Justine, you are not his mother. I think you're already doing a lot by giving him job contacts if he isnt putting them to use it becomes his problem... I know guys do mature later than woman but there comes to a point where they'll need to grow up. If you both feel like this is worh it then try to work things out. Relationship is about compromising but if you're doing all the work it isn't fair.

Give it some time and see what happenes. You hold the ultimate decision.

Best of luck

[keypatalina]

Thanks for the kind words I think he wants to get out of his hometown, but is just scared of leaving his comfort zone (he's never lived more than an hour drive from the house he grew up in). I hope you guys are right and that it works out. He was crying on the phone last night, not something a 25 year old guy will admit to, because he says that I'm the only person he can be himself around and he doesn't want to lose me but isn't sure how we can work out the logistics.

[Sharon Q]

Maybe he is scared about moving.

Try talking to him. I would be more than willing to work any job if it meant being with my SO.

He at least needs to try. Maybe even applying online to places around where you live.

[keypatalina]

Thank you, Sharon. I'm really hoping it works out...I know it's cliche to say, but I do feel like we're right for each other and he's the one for me.

[keypatalina]

And I'd even move to where he ends up getting a job, just don't have any idea where that may be since he's not actively looking though he does nothing but complain about his current job...it's really hard because I know he wants to get out, but it's so frustrating that he isn't taking initiative to actually do that.

[Bethypoo]

Dont make any serious decisions. Let things settle and then reassess. When there is so much change at once then decisions can be made harshly. So just take a step back and breath. It will work out.