Getting married to close the distance

[Haley53]

Both my partner and I had agreed on a work visa before anything, or on me going there for a working holiday, even if it hadn't been planned that I would be moving there. I wouldn't marry someone a) for a Visa and/or b) without having had a chance to live with them first. Even if I find us to be highly compatible and no matter how convinced I am that they are my one, Riyko hit the nail on the head with that it's different living with someone permanently than temporarily on a visit. It's different being CD to LD, and though I'm not saying things often don't work out (in fact, I think a lot of the times, things do), I am saying that for me, living together is almost a requirement, because it would allow us to iron out anything that needed to be ironed out before we considered the next step of marriage.

[ChibiFelicia]

Just my personal opinion, but i don't agree with getting married just to get a visa. I think you should try other ways of going to the US, the reason i say that because sure you are compatible being long distance, but what happens if after being close distance you realize you aren't compatible or the relationship isn't even what you wanted, then you will be in a marriage you don't want to be in.

Also with your brother having a mail order bride, you think of the visa reason why she did it, in a sense it's the same as what you want to do.

yeah thats what i was thinking to be honest. Although i wouldnt live with someone before getting married anyway. I think what ppl get hung up on me included is that "youre getting married for the visa" thats not the case. Im perfectly happy in the uk except the fact he aint here lol the way i see it my sister in law didnt have a good life over there compared to how she lives in the uk, also i actually have a relationship with my man and the brother and the in law met on their wedding day. Anyhoos i wasnt asking ppl to judge just seeing if other ppl are hung up on the "you're marrying for the visa" opinion from ppls. and i guess how ppl cope with it. just ignore it? iunno sometimes im a lil confused i dont wanna have to wait to apply for that work visa. im not not at the stage of my career where that would be a wise choice. also someone said about going there for the full visitor visa? i would not do that. Having to depend on him is not an option for me. i cant work, cant go to study cant do anything it'd just be putting my life on hold - me nor my man want that.

[Minerva]

I'm not saying I'd marry for a visa; I'd marry to be with the man I love. If things were different and we were a CD couple, we might just live together. But we have to play the hand we're dealt. We can't do student visas and we've got kids so we can't play the "maybe we'll try for a work visa and see if someone will hire" because that's a very long shot. When it comes time to close the distance, we'll need something more sure than maybe because we're older and can't just uproot our lives without solid hope of it working out. A fiancé visa isn't a sure thing, but it's far surer than hoping for a work visa (and we don't have to worry about what happens should the job disappear).

If we marry, it will be for love, first and foremost -- because we love each other to do whatever it takes to be together.

And I'd really want to live together before marriage, but... I don't know how easy that will be.

[Malaga]

Honestly I can't see where the problem is? If you want to be together, you work the system the best you can for this to happen. You have a genuine relationship and you want to be able to work and support yourself independently. How could anyone judge you for that is beyond me.

[rhomy]

My relationship is just beginning but I thought about that a little.
He lives in the U.S and I live in Argentina. Here is pretty easy for ppl to come but we have 2 main reason why I should be going: First of all, he works as a environmental engineer and here nobody gives a shit about the environment (shit: is a very academic term :P ... sorry but that's the most suitable word ) so he wouldn't be able to work and the second reason (and most important) he has a daughter.

I can go there on a work visa, but as I am a dentist it is really hard to get, that would take maybe 2 or 3 years because after doing paper work I have to make a PHD there, so they consider me at the same level as the dentist who got their degree there, so YES, marriage would be the best option for us.
I'd love to be married with him so... no complaints lol.
Though, I don't know what he thinks... maybe if things continue to go as good as they are now, I'll bring up the subject.

If both of you are in love, the fact that you need the visa, is a detail to make that love go on, just that.

You are not getting married to get a visa, you are getting married because you love him and in order to be with him you have to move, if you want to move you need a visa so...

[LilyChiba]

I agree with Malaga and rhomy honestly. Some people also don't have the choice of going for a work or holiday visa anyhow. I'm one of those people. I don't have any degrees, so getting a work visa is pretty much out for me unless someone offered me a temp job. So K1 is really the only option for us to be together. And worse comes to worse, it doesn't work out, I come home and get a divorce. It's really not a huge deal. There are plenty of other places I could visit that I want to if that happened, which I personally doubt would. But yeah.. that's my opinion on the matter. Some people have no choice but to go the marriage route. I want to. I've been through a few relationships to know what I want in someone now and I'm at that age where I think I know what's right for me hehe

[leonsfangirl]

My SO and I are in the same boat.
We can close the distance without getting married if i move to Canada but i can't do that because i have children from a previous relationship and we've explored every visa option for him to come here and our options are basically marry in Canada and get the spouse/marriage visa OR bring him here on the fiance visa and marry here within six months.
The way we look at it is this, ideally we'd like spend more time and live together first but marriage would happen eventually. We've just had to change our plans slightly for us to be together.

[snow_girl]

Lucky for us I was able to get a holiday work visa. We are using that to live together so that when we go back to canada we can apply for the common law visa which requires us to live together for at least a year. My SO has expressed in the past he wouldn't want to marry just for visa purposes so I guess we are lucked out that we have different visa options available to us.