having fun with other guys?

[rhomy]

One thing is to have fun with friends, but a really different things is to flirt, eventhough you don'0t do anything else. I find that very disrespectful.
If you say you wouldn't like your SO to do that, why do you do it?

[CanadianGirl]

I don't think cheating is the word, but for my own relationship, it would certainly be grounds for breaking up. I'm presented with a whole lot of opportunities to get wasted/dance/flirt with other guys, but I just don't want that at all. Those are all things I consider fun while single, so if my SO did those things, I would be forced to question how committed he was to me. But that's my definition of commitment, everyone is different.

One thing, if this would make you mad if the shoe was on the other foot..that's your first clue that you shouldn't do it.

[Jgui]

Okay it's not cheating in my books but definitely disrespectful.

DITTO! put yourself in his shoes, what if he were grinding up on another girl? how would that make you feel? i believe that if a person doesn't want the other person to act a certain way they should do the same as well.

[Engel]

what does grinding means?

and if my so flirted with other girls, i would consider it cheating.

---------- Post added at 07:43 AM ---------- Previous post was at 07:40 AM ----------

Okay it's not cheating in my books but definitely disrespectful. If you would be upset with your SO grinding on some girl - why the hell is it okay for you to do it? You definitely crossed a line. Would you appreciate some girl rubbing her ass against your boyfriends dick? Probably not.

that.

[NaNi]

I would have big problems with that. But thankfully, my SO thinks the same way and she would never do that anyway. It's just not something you do while in a relationship.

[Zephii]

Uh, yeah, no. This isn't cool. Does your SO know you're doing this? If it's something you can bring up in casual conversation with him and he'd be fine with it, then cool - but it isn't. You know he'd be mad. Thus you are disrespecting him and deliberatly breaking his trust. Not to mention potentially leading a bunch of other guys on. I don't know why anyone would think this is ok - you're kinda going around giving a bad name to the rest of us honest chicks who want to go out and have hands-off fun with our guy mates, because every jealous guy out there (and women too!) is afraid their partner is going to go out and do exactly what you are doing, or worse.

Be honest and faithful, or let the poor bloke go find someone who will do him that favour.
just my 2c.

[Rugger]

My rule of thumb for cheating: If you wouldn't do it with your SO standing next to you., It's probably cheating.

[Malaga]

My rule of thumb for cheating: If you wouldn't do it with your SO standing next to you., It's probably cheating.

Yes. Also, as a general rule, I try to act the way I'd like my boyfriend to act as well, and don't do things I wouldn't want him to do either.

[Dziubka]

I find 'grinding' pretty gross as a whole, so I wouldn't do that anyway regardless of my relationship status.

That said, I guess I have to disagree with the others here.
I don't think that flirting is so bad. It depends on what you consider flirting, but for me it's generally being friendly, joking, paying compliments and things like that. I love flirting. I think people should flirt more and it would make the world a happier place.
Tell that guy on the bus that his hairdo is really cute, tell your lecturer he's wearing a nice sweater (mine did today I told him he was well dressed!) and compliment your neighbour on her beautiful flowers or whatever. It really doesn't hurt anyone and spreads a bit of positive emotion.

I flirt with with other guys when I go to parties. Hell, I flirt with my boyfriend's friends even when he's around. It's never serious and I'd never ask anyone for their number or on a date. It's just playful banter. I make it a point to let them know I'm happily taken, too.
I wouldn't mind my boyfriend flirting with other girls either. I guess he doesn't do it, or not on purpose anyway, because he's not the type. But if he wanted to, he could.

[snow_girl]

I find 'grinding' pretty gross as a whole, so I wouldn't do that anyway regardless of my relationship status.

That said, I guess I have to disagree with the others here.
I don't think that flirting is so bad. It depends on what you consider flirting, but for me it's generally being friendly, joking, paying compliments and things like that. I love flirting. I think people should flirt more and it would make the world a happier place.
Tell that guy on the bus that his hairdo is really cute, tell your lecturer he's wearing a nice sweater (mine did today I told him he was well dressed!) and compliment your neighbour on her beautiful flowers or whatever. It really doesn't hurt anyone and spreads a bit of positive emotion.

I flirt with with other guys when I go to parties. Hell, I flirt with my boyfriend's friends even when he's around. It's never serious and I'd never ask anyone for their number or on a date. It's just playful banter. I make it a point to let them know I'm happily taken, too.
I wouldn't mind my boyfriend flirting with other girls either. I guess he doesn't do it, or not on purpose anyway, because he's not the type. But if he wanted to, he could.

I think there is a difference in flirting and being friendly. I am very friendly and very similar to you. But I think it is easy for people to take friendly flirting the wrong way. I think the flirting most people here are talking about is the kind where things are presumed sexual and not just innocent and friendly, if that makes sense?

[Malaga]

I think there is a difference in flirting and being friendly. I am very friendly and very similar to you. But I think it is easy for people to take friendly flirting the wrong way. I think the flirting most people here are talking about is the kind where things are presumed sexual and not just innocent and friendly, if that makes sense?

I agree. There's a big difference between friendly compliments, and compliments with a sexual tension. I also flirt socially with a variety of people, including my boyfriend's friends, nobody takes it seriously of course. It makes his friends like me and think of me as fun and easy to get along with, and my boyfriend is proud of it.

[JEREIANEDREI]

its a matter of so called respect..and i think its beyond the limit...
sorry but just like them I think its not good,.no matter how far,.its just the distance that keep you both apart,.
but by heart,.you must always bear that he's always with you...that's faith....

just an opinion,..

[BLUE SMILEY]

If you ask me, I find this totally wrong and totally disrespectful. I'm just trying how I would react if my SO does something like that, she would have definitely broke my trust by doing that. How would i even feel comfortable while someone else is grinding his wee-wee against my SO her butt when she does allow it? Nope, totally wrong, sorry.

[heylittlekrissy]

I personally don't think going out with friends and drinking with guys around is wrong. If you can keep your drinking at a tolerable level without getting trashed in this situation, I don't see anything wrong with that. That being said, you must also be at a level where you can still control your actions for this to be okay; I say this because I do not find intoxication of any level to be an acceptable excuse for cheating.
That being said, I do not find flirting itself to be cheating. I think in some cases, being a little flirty is alright, but not if it's something your SO finds to be disrespectful. It's all about the boundaries you need to set as a couple. Being overly flirtatious could be an issue, but again, it's all about the boundaries you set. I'm personally okay with a little bit of harmless flirting, as is my SO, as we're both very flirty people; but out of respect for each other, we keep our flirting to a minimum, together, or apart.
Anything of the sexual nature though, I personally don't feel is acceptable in a relationship. I personally love to go out and dance with friends and guys at clubs and all, but since the start of the relationship, I have not gone out to a club or gone dancing out of respect for my SO. Now, obviously, you could go out with friends and learn like Salsa or some other form of dancing that isn't necessarily as sexual as club dancing, and that would be okay with me, as long as my SO was okay with that; if it made him uncomfortable, I'd ask why, and see what his reasoning was behind it. But club dancing is usually a lot of "bumping and grinding", and many times very sexual, and is very disrespectful to your SO in my eyes.
This being said, you also stated you would not be happy with your SO going out and doing that kind of thing, so that right there should raise a red flag to you about your own actions.

[Dziubka]

I think there is a difference in flirting and being friendly. I am very friendly and very similar to you. But I think it is easy for people to take friendly flirting the wrong way. I think the flirting most people here are talking about is the kind where things are presumed sexual and not just innocent and friendly, if that makes sense?

I think the line is blurry, though.
What I consider friendly flirting might be inappropriate for someone else (and vice versa). In the end everyone has to decide for themsleves what they can accept in a relationship and what not. Like some people said, a good indicator is whether you'd be ok with your SO doing that. But then even in a relationship the expectations can be very different, so, like aways, it's good to discuss with your partner where you draw the line.
I just felt the need to write something because the OP wrote she was "grinding and talking" and a lot of people told her how inappropriate and disrespectful that was.
I think grinding is generally sort of inappropriate, but 'normal' dancing and flirting? It's part of going out.