He Ended It

[Haley53]

He ended it this morning, saying he cannot focus on maintaining a relationship at the moment. He told me he's been going over and over whether or not this was the right decision for a couple weeks now, and that he's been writing down his thoughts to compile into a letter that he's going to read to me when he has the chance to get the loan of someone's phone (he can't hear out of his). He's said he doesn't want anything to change between us (he's kept all my gifts, is still wearing a rope I braided and the LFAD bracelet, and still sleeps nightly with a stuffed dog I sent), and he doesn't see me as an "ex," even, but with everything that's going on... A relationship is simply not something he's able to commit to at this point in time. Me being me, I've been crying and fretting and stressing over my decision of whether or not I can maintain a friendship after the relationship we'd built together. Everyone else being, well, everyone else, i.e. my more objective sources, they've advised me not to give up on this because they see it as something temporary, that it'd be different if the circumstances were not what they were (for those who don't know/remember, his mother passed away on the 15th, and he's been dealing with a lot since, considering he not only has himself but his 15-year-old brother to think about). Even my mother, whose typical attitude is "you're young!", has said she feels it's more of a break than a break-up as well, that she feels I should stay, because she truly believes and feels in her gut that he and I have something special. That was huge coming from my mother. But despite everything, I feel that even before everyone shared their opinions, I knew I was going to stay. I think even before I consciously knew I was going to stay, I knew I was going to stay. :P

But I wanted to post an explanation of why my signature has disappeared, mainly because I don't want to be asked about it. I haven't so far been asked on here - it's mostly been on FB where people are nosing into my business - but I wanted to prevent it. I'll still likely be around LFAD. I love it here. I love being a part of the community. I'm not sure what to call my non-ex-ex? My non-boyfriend-boyfriend? I may continue to call him my partner, simply because I still see him as such in the very core of my soul and though the term often has a romantic connotation, it's not necessarily isolated to being a romantic term.

[Minerva]

*hugs*

As I've said before, this is a storm, and he isn't really himself right now. I know how hard this is for you, and I'm so sorry for how hurt you're feeling.

I don't normally think breaks work -- except in circumstances like this, where there has been such an upheaval in someone's life that they have no choice but to sit and take stock and reevaluate their life. In the end, I think this will work out. I think he just needs to rename the relationship to alleviate stress and pressure. And of course you're not the cause of any of the stress and pressure -- you've done everything right, you've been the best a person can be. But a RELATIONSHIP, flashing and all caps in his mind, might just be too much for him to cope with right now. The reality might be that nothing changes between the two of you other than the label of what you are.

And you know what? Who needs labels? You are what you are to each other, you don't need to have it defined right now. Just be kind to each other, and be kind to yourself.

*hugs* again to you, and I hope the storm soon passes for you both.

Send me a PM anytime you need to.

[snow_girl]

Sorry to hear, I hope everything works out for the two of you whether you end up together or just great partners.

[kiara_silver]

Im really sorry to hear this. And I hope that with this break or time he will have time to clear his head and things will work out for you two. I also agree with minerva, that you don't need to label, you don't need to define it. I hope things work out for the best, whatever that might be, and if you ever want to talk or just vent.

[Joyce:)]

Yes, it's a break, and he's still your SO. All he needs is to know that he doesn't have to stress about a long distance relationship, since his mind probably can't get off the though of losing his mum so suddenly.
You're being such a good supporter, and you're being such a good girlfriend helping him through such horrible times.
Don't worry, things will work out, he'll figure out how to manage his grief and continue a relationship. he may just need a bit of time.
We're all here for you, you're not alone

[CynicalQuixotic]

Oh, darling, I'm so, so, so sorry. What an absolute shit situation all around, for everyone. I'm here if you need me.

*huge huge HUGE hugs*

[xAngelx]

*hugs* sorry to hear that.

[lucybelle]

He's going through a real tough time right now. Strength to both of you. Glad you'll be sticking around.

[Malaga]

I'm very sorry... it must be so hard for both of you.
*hugs*

[Sunnyside193]

Such a shame stay strong and hopefully things work out for the best

[Mara]

*hugs* You should definitely stick around and I agree with everyone else that this is more than a break than anything else. He's just not in a place right now where he can deal with a relationship, but that really doesn't reflect on you or the relationship the two of you have. I'd just be there for him right now, he needs you.

[Ms.Justine]

I feel it is probably a break, rather than a break up. I feel that he needs some space he is going through a lot. Glad to see your sticking around though!

[carolynred]

*lots of hug* Stay strong girly! It still sounds like there is so much between him and you, I've got a gut feeling you two will work it out to be together again. You've been so understanding to let him take this break, I bet he knows that he is very lucky to have you in this life. Let us know how you're doing, we're all here for you! <3

[rhomy]

Sorry to hear that!
But it's good you decided to stay. He is going through a difficult moment and perhaps he just doesn't know how to deal with it. I hope it is just a break, and not a break up!
Best wishes for you

[Biddlybiddlybombop]

I think you know exactly what you want to do, and I'm glad you're keeping positive about this. You know you have our love and support. *hugs*