Boyfriend's missing rose

[1_click_away]

To summarize, yesterday I logged onto the dating website that my SO and I met on and saw that he had been on yesterday as well. We had recently talked about our profiles and both of us like to look back at old stuff. I noticed that one of the 2 roses every user is given had been given out as his profile said "this user has 1 rose to give out" Thoughts running, where did this rose go? Has he been playing me for a fool?

My SO and I met on a dating website called plentyoffish.com July of last year. We met and became official last September and have been going strong back and forth and I even took my 7 year old daughter out there and spent the summer (almost 3 months) with him at his place and had the most amazing summer imaginable. He's a stand up guy, who's active military, with a part time security job and in school full time for physics. The reason i mention these things is because it's hard enough for him to find time for us to skype and talk, let alone for him to be talking to other women. This is what I think atleast? Yes, I went back on the dating site that we had just talked about it, as a pick me up...helps me to remember how and why I fell in love with him. Something I think only LDR couples can understand. No suspicions of any foul play AT ALL. I've never had jealousy issues, I've always trusted him and have had no reason not to. I've always been proud of the fact that we aren't the jealous couple that LDR's so often become. I asked him when the last time he was on was, and he said yesterday right away. I asked about the rose and he said he didn't even know how to send them. I really do believe him, I just don't understand how it just "dissapeared?"

Needless to say I posted a forum on that website and ended up feeling more like I needed to defend myself and him for signing onto the site in the first place....and I really don't think that people who haven't been in LDR's really understand how important the ability to go back and look at things that brought you together is and I feel like I'm mixing what is truely unbiased opinions and opinions about LDR's in general.

So I ask of you, fellow LDR's. What is your opinion? Would it be out of line for me to ask him for his password? Should I just trust him? He called last night and assured me and even mentioned closing the distance sooner than later because he's not sure I can handle it and he doesn't want to lose me. All of this is on top of being abnormally distant from him recently due to him being on temporary military duty and super busy. I don't know what to do, I don't know what to think. LDR's are so difficult as there is no way to do anything the "right" way. I can't just ask him face to face, I can't just ask him to show me. I won't see him until January. No other issues, and it's the first time I've ever had doubt. Is it just the LDR jealousy kicking in? ughh..help!

Below I attached some of the comments from the forum on the other site. the items in parenthesis are my comments, that the users are commenting on. I highlighted some of the things that are really standing out to me.


__________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ______________

ME:
A lot has changed since I've been on a year ago, and I just want to make sure I'm covering my bases before asking.
Came on the site today to look back and remember the profile that I fell in love with over a year ago. My boyfriend and I have been together over a year now.....Long Distance. When I was looking at his profile I noticed he only has one rose. Somebody please tell me that I misunderstood and you only get one back monthly after your initial first 2? I mean it's hard enough figuring out how to even send one, let alone send one on accident? when you aren't sending anybody messages and only came on recently to look at our correspondance? Absolutely no trust issues thus far.
Have you heard of people accidentally sending out roses?
If my profile is hidden and I'm still on your favorites list can he still see my profile?
Don't your past messages delete themselves within 30 days?
Any other ways I can check to see without upgrading?
*devestated*

earthboundangel67:
nope, you still get another rose after giving one out on purpose or accidently after 30 days... for a total of 2. It looks like you have sent a rose out within the last 30 days as well as your profile says only 1 rose available. Interesting. And if you just came on to look at correspondence, Big Fish has changed it up and messages only stay on for 20 days now. Guess he is perhaps still playing the bachelor...and giving out roses...online is not always easy nor is a LDR. If you are on each others favorites lists, you should be able to see when they were last online. Hmmm....would be better if you fell in love with the person, rather than their profile. Jmho.

lotustemple
One year together and you guys still have profiles on POF? What's that about? Ask him if it's time for you both to delete them and listen very carefully to what he has to say. Do this in person and watch his eyes. If it seems he needs to think about it, you got yourself a situation girl.
I only get serious with guys that are very serious about being with me, and stay that way. If a man even remotely gives you the indication he is still looking around, leave him unless you enjoy drama.

ME:
I just don't understand. I sent one to him along with a message right before I noticed he was one short. All of our messages are over a year old. I haven't been on in a good 8 or 9 months. It's just fun to re-read and look at the pics that had me so mezmorized in the beginning. As for seeing when he was online, I wish I would have waited to confront him and watched it. Messages only stay for 20 days now?? Unless you open them? I assume if they are active then they'd stay? or there would be a way to save them? I fell in love with the profile, then the texts, then the person We lived with each other all summer. I feel like I KNOW this man and really don't think he'd be playing bachelor still. Hell he doesn't have time between the military, a part time job, and school. I just don't understand how it just dissapears? Maybe I just play dumb. lol

ME:
Mine was hidden a long time ago. Haven't been on or felt the need to come on in almost a year. We were just talking about our profiles on here the other day, and ironically when I came on to check it out and "remember" he had been on today too. When I asked he told me right away. Also has already deleted his profile, I didn't need to ask. This is the first time I've ever felt the least bit of indication, but he swears up and down. Funny thing is called me right away knowing I was upset and said maybe you should just move here sooner than later. He lives 2000 miles away from me and it's a HUGE thing for him and me, but something I've kinda been putting the pressure on him for. All signs lead to good......Benefit of the doubt, with my eyes wide open I guess. That damn rose will always be in the back of my mind though...and how the heck it just up and gave itself away. Wish me luck. Thanks for the advice

_Iconoclast_
You cant let a rose made out of pixels devastate you. It just ain't healthy.


ME:
boyfriend's dissapearing rose...
Posted: 11/3/2011 12:02:04 AM
Understandable, considering you were actively messaging other users. He says he has not been, there's no other way to "accidentally" send one unless your on the "send a message" page am I wrong? I hope so...

Giggles10000
If he deletes you off his favorites and then changes his user name...he can say he deleted his profile and you would never know if it was still there...better to leave it on here and have done a testimonial on it...
As far as the rose goes, you will chose to believe him no matter what at this point....I think something (instinct maybe) got you to want to come on here and check things out...I think you got an answer you don't want. Maybe if you try being honest with yourself and then with him he might end up being honest with you.

Kitten189
Op,im sure a rose just doesn't magically disappear and the fact is you have to send it,attached to an email.....
It's 'weird' that something compelled you to check out your guy's profile and look what you found........
As others have said,listen to your female intuition - it's usually right

FrshStart75
I'm sorry. He sent the rose to someone. Not good form. Get with him soon, then ask him about it face-to-face. If you don't 100% believe his story, then ask to see his messages. Something is NOT passing the smell test here. I'm sorry.

Loverflower1970
I think your worrying over something that don't amount to a hill of beans................
Where's Cowboy when you need him???????

[1_click_away]

dogslife2live001
"Came on the site today to look back and remember the profile that I fell in love with over a year ago. My boyfriend and I have been together over a year now."
...and after a year. out of the blue. with no rhyme or reason... you have been overrun with a compassion?
"I noticed he only has one rose."
and like sending rose you have to really, really want to go there to be there! therefore if it was compassion, and not suspicion that sent you to read the words that you sooooo fell in love with... there must have been suspicion that sent you way down to the bottom of the page to check the roses he has left. rather click on profile which is way up at the top of the page.
"Have you heard of people accidentally sending out roses?"
more than once...more than once! when sending out a picture of me with a email. and i assume i have made a good impression sending a remark about my photo...no picture just a rose, with a message to advanced for a first impression...but i can say i never did come here looking for dirt, and claiming trust. It seems to me the time has come to chase away many clouds...
to bring back the clarity the once made love shine. surely if you feel comfort in spreading your legs for him a few words for clarity won't make you cringe in fear????

motown cowgirl:
look at you and your 2,000-mile long distance relationship.
ignoble virtual roses aren't the only way these things come accidentally unglued.
good luck to you thinking that you can just pack up and move and that will fix whatever trust issues are rattling around in the back of your head.
"Benefit of the doubt, with my eyes wide open I guess."
pfft, eyes wide open and hand over your mouth, you mean. this one stupid thing will always be in the back of your mind, because you'd rather pack up and move 2,000 miles away to be with some guy than have a forthright conversation WITH HIM about whatever is bugging you like a burr in your blanket. right, get some opinions from strangers and only give credence to the ones that make you feel the way you want to feel.


JerseyGirl2008
He's obviously been in contact with others on POF while you thought you were in an exclusive (albeit long distance) relationship.
I wouldn't pack up my stuff and move 2,000 miles to be with a liar. Regardless of whether a rose is made of 'pixels' or not, it's the intent behind SENDING it, not what it's made of.
You couldn't PAY me to move in this situation.

iluvfunstuff
I'm pretty picky about sending roses... and never do it... unless I'm intoxicated by a profile so much that I say what the hell... I'm afraid, your man isn't your man. sorry chica

ME:
You guys are all right, I can't just forget it because it will always be there. I need proof. Problem is I won't be seeing him until January and I surely cannot wait that long with this in the back of my mind. If I were to ask him for his password to scope out his account, last contacts, etc. I know he can delete messages, but he can't delete contacts right? I know he'd have to opportunity to go through and edit what he was able to, but maybe if I get him at work while he doesn't have "as good of" access as from home. No I don't think this is enough to split us, but def put my defense up, and make me aware. He's truly a stand up guy and funny thing is.....my gut tells me THAT. Honestly did come here just to reminisce and do believe that he would do that too. Being in a long distance relationship sometimes things like that is all we have. Regardless.....he should be able to contact a moderator or something to see where it was sent right? He's gotta be able to give me something......
for peace of mind.

*army mom*
Hate to be the bearer of bad news, OP, but your "boyfriend" didn't accidentally send someone a rose -- he did it intentionally. And you must have had a gut feeling that something wasn't right to revisit his profile after a year.
This kind of stuff is exactly why I would never again get involved in a long distance relationship ... just speaking from my personal experience.
You're a cute girl -- you don't need to put up with a cheater. Ditch that loser and don't get involved in any more long distance relationships.
Good luck!

Lint Spotter
"Have you heard of people accidentally sending out roses?"
I've had two accidentally sent to me... no biggie really, I was rather amused by the reaction of each of the guys when they realized what they had done
"If he deletes you off his favorites and then changes his user name...he can say he deleted his profile and you would never know if it was still there..."
Wrong, he would still show up in her contact history.
"Regardless.....he should be able to contact a moderator or something to see where it was sent right?"
Not a moderator, they're for the forums only. csr@pof.com is the site's email address for problems, but I can't believe they would even bother looking into where a rose was sent from an account since that would be a huge waste of resources for the site.
If you don't trust him, then dump him... simple as that...

Bitten82
I think an awol rose is the least of your issues............lets address you keeping your POF profile (hidden or not) and the fact that out of the blue you came online and happened t check his profile.
I think the signs are there, that you have trust issues

ME:
I do trust him, I've never had the smallest inkling of mistrust, until I came on here and saw this.
I think if people haven't been in a long distance relationship, it's hard to understand. I do come back and look at the stuff, just like I go back and look at all the pictures of times we've had together. It's a way of connecting with each other, and picking yourself up by remembering how and why you fell in love with someone when you're missing them. I can honestly say I did NOT come on here because of any suspicions. I never deleted because I wouldn't be able to look back and see the correspondance between us two, not that it matters because it deleted itself a long time ago, but that is the reason I originally hid as opposed to deleted.

TALL-IQ2
"funny thing is called me right away knowing I was upset and said maybe you should just move here sooner than later. He lives 2000 miles away from me and it's a HUGE thing for him and me, but something I've kinda been putting the pressure on him for. All signs lead to good..."
"If I were to ask him for his password to scope out his account, last contacts, etc. I know he can delete messages, but he can't delete contacts right?"
"He's gotta be able to give me something......for peace of mind."
Hate to have to say it hon, but your peace of mind is something nobody but YOU can ultimately change..
It seems that your LDR is trying his best to assuage your fears and insecurity, so he must like you quite a bit, but could still be seeing other women since he IS single and 2000 miles away.. HE sent someone a "rose" ok?
That is something BEYOND your control, as it always will be and if you can't accept that fact, then find someone else in your hometown that you can move in with and have more of that "peace of mind" by seeing him most every day..

4everRadiant:
"He's gotta be able to give me something......for peace of mind."
With all due respect, no one HAS to give you anything.
You do not have peace of mind because you don't trust him.
You say your gut tells you "he's truly a stand up guy," yet you don't TRULY trust your gut or him or this thread would not have been posted.
You feel he's "gotta" be able to give you something for peace of mind. No, he doesn't. You will only find peace of mind when you speak with him directly about this, and accordingly make a decision as to whether or not you think this relationship is going to work... I don't think it will, because it sounds like you don't believe it will. Good luck, all the same.

I-am-Rei
"We were just talking about our profiles on here the other day, and ironically when I came on to check it out and "remember" he had been on today too. When I asked he told me right away."
Just for clarification, did you ask him "when" he was online but have you asked him where or to whom he had send the rose? I just don't understand how you claim to be in a relationship but you can't ask about a simple thing that's bothering you??? If it were me I could easily ask my SO even jokingly why he only had one rose left and if I knew him I will know when he lies.

Bitten82
I've been in a LDR and at no point, did I ever ask for login details of his social networking sites. Both of us deleted our dating profiles and we were happy with eachother, during our relationship. Unfortunately we did end up growing apart.
However, you do have insecurities, there are trust issues. You're only trying to convince yourself otherwise. If he is trustworthy, then the ball lies with you

Lint Spotted:
This isn't trust... this is reserving trust until such a time as a little doubt comes into play.
I dated a gentleman that was extremely handsome, and one time as I was cleaning out his pockets to wash his jeans, I found a matchbook with a name and phone number in it... my first thought was not that he had something going on the side.

ForumFilly
I have accidentally sent a rose to someone. I meant to enclose a photo and hit the wrong button and didn't realize it until he wrote to thank me. Ooop!!!! Totally unintended! I, also, have friends on here who have had roses disappear when they swear they haven't sent any. I'd give him the benefit of the doubt. If all other aspects of your relationship is doing well, don't let something like that throw you off.
If your profile is hidden but you are on each other's favorites list, you can view each other's profiles.

[1_click_away]

dogslife2live001
"Came on the site today to look back and remember the profile that I fell in love with over a year ago. My boyfriend and I have been together over a year now."
...and after a year. out of the blue. with no rhyme or reason... you have been overrun with a compassion?
"I noticed he only has one rose."
and like sending rose you have to really, really want to go there to be there! therefore if it was compassion, and not suspicion that sent you to read the words that you sooooo fell in love with... there must have been suspicion that sent you way down to the bottom of the page to check the roses he has left. rather click on profile which is way up at the top of the page.
"Have you heard of people accidentally sending out roses?"
more than once...more than once! when sending out a picture of me with a email. and i assume i have made a good impression sending a remark about my photo...no picture just a rose, with a message to advanced for a first impression...but i can say i never did come here looking for dirt, and claiming trust. It seems to me the time has come to chase away many clouds...
to bring back the clarity the once made love shine. surely if you feel comfort in spreading your legs for him a few words for clarity won't make you cringe in fear????

motown cowgirl:
look at you and your 2,000-mile long distance relationship.
ignoble virtual roses aren't the only way these things come accidentally unglued.
good luck to you thinking that you can just pack up and move and that will fix whatever trust issues are rattling around in the back of your head.
"Benefit of the doubt, with my eyes wide open I guess."
pfft, eyes wide open and hand over your mouth, you mean. this one stupid thing will always be in the back of your mind, because you'd rather pack up and move 2,000 miles away to be with some guy than have a forthright conversation WITH HIM about whatever is bugging you like a burr in your blanket. right, get some opinions from strangers and only give credence to the ones that make you feel the way you want to feel.


JerseyGirl2008
He's obviously been in contact with others on POF while you thought you were in an exclusive (albeit long distance) relationship.
I wouldn't pack up my stuff and move 2,000 miles to be with a liar. Regardless of whether a rose is made of 'pixels' or not, it's the intent behind SENDING it, not what it's made of.
You couldn't PAY me to move in this situation.

iluvfunstuff
I'm pretty picky about sending roses... and never do it... unless I'm intoxicated by a profile so much that I say what the hell... I'm afraid, your man isn't your man. sorry chica

ME:
You guys are all right, I can't just forget it because it will always be there. I need proof. Problem is I won't be seeing him until January and I surely cannot wait that long with this in the back of my mind. If I were to ask him for his password to scope out his account, last contacts, etc. I know he can delete messages, but he can't delete contacts right? I know he'd have to opportunity to go through and edit what he was able to, but maybe if I get him at work while he doesn't have "as good of" access as from home. No I don't think this is enough to split us, but def put my defense up, and make me aware. He's truly a stand up guy and funny thing is.....my gut tells me THAT. Honestly did come here just to reminisce and do believe that he would do that too. Being in a long distance relationship sometimes things like that is all we have. Regardless.....he should be able to contact a moderator or something to see where it was sent right? He's gotta be able to give me something......
for peace of mind.

*army mom*
Hate to be the bearer of bad news, OP, but your "boyfriend" didn't accidentally send someone a rose -- he did it intentionally. And you must have had a gut feeling that something wasn't right to revisit his profile after a year.
This kind of stuff is exactly why I would never again get involved in a long distance relationship ... just speaking from my personal experience.
You're a cute girl -- you don't need to put up with a cheater. Ditch that loser and don't get involved in any more long distance relationships.
Good luck!

Lint Spotter
"Have you heard of people accidentally sending out roses?"
I've had two accidentally sent to me... no biggie really, I was rather amused by the reaction of each of the guys when they realized what they had done
"If he deletes you off his favorites and then changes his user name...he can say he deleted his profile and you would never know if it was still there..."
Wrong, he would still show up in her contact history.
"Regardless.....he should be able to contact a moderator or something to see where it was sent right?"
Not a moderator, they're for the forums only. csr@pof.com is the site's email address for problems, but I can't believe they would even bother looking into where a rose was sent from an account since that would be a huge waste of resources for the site.
If you don't trust him, then dump him... simple as that...

Bitten82
I think an awol rose is the least of your issues............lets address you keeping your POF profile (hidden or not) and the fact that out of the blue you came online and happened t check his profile.
I think the signs are there, that you have trust issues

ME:
I do trust him, I've never had the smallest inkling of mistrust, until I came on here and saw this.
I think if people haven't been in a long distance relationship, it's hard to understand. I do come back and look at the stuff, just like I go back and look at all the pictures of times we've had together. It's a way of connecting with each other, and picking yourself up by remembering how and why you fell in love with someone when you're missing them. I can honestly say I did NOT come on here because of any suspicions. I never deleted because I wouldn't be able to look back and see the correspondance between us two, not that it matters because it deleted itself a long time ago, but that is the reason I originally hid as opposed to deleted.

TALL-IQ2
"funny thing is called me right away knowing I was upset and said maybe you should just move here sooner than later. He lives 2000 miles away from me and it's a HUGE thing for him and me, but something I've kinda been putting the pressure on him for. All signs lead to good..."
"If I were to ask him for his password to scope out his account, last contacts, etc. I know he can delete messages, but he can't delete contacts right?"
"He's gotta be able to give me something......for peace of mind."
Hate to have to say it hon, but your peace of mind is something nobody but YOU can ultimately change..
It seems that your LDR is trying his best to assuage your fears and insecurity, so he must like you quite a bit, but could still be seeing other women since he IS single and 2000 miles away.. HE sent someone a "rose" ok?
That is something BEYOND your control, as it always will be and if you can't accept that fact, then find someone else in your hometown that you can move in with and have more of that "peace of mind" by seeing him most every day..

4everRadiant:
"He's gotta be able to give me something......for peace of mind."
With all due respect, no one HAS to give you anything.
You do not have peace of mind because you don't trust him.
You say your gut tells you "he's truly a stand up guy," yet you don't TRULY trust your gut or him or this thread would not have been posted.
You feel he's "gotta" be able to give you something for peace of mind. No, he doesn't. You will only find peace of mind when you speak with him directly about this, and accordingly make a decision as to whether or not you think this relationship is going to work... I don't think it will, because it sounds like you don't believe it will. Good luck, all the same.

I-am-Rei
"We were just talking about our profiles on here the other day, and ironically when I came on to check it out and "remember" he had been on today too. When I asked he told me right away."
Just for clarification, did you ask him "when" he was online but have you asked him where or to whom he had send the rose? I just don't understand how you claim to be in a relationship but you can't ask about a simple thing that's bothering you??? If it were me I could easily ask my SO even jokingly why he only had one rose left and if I knew him I will know when he lies.

Bitten82
I've been in a LDR and at no point, did I ever ask for login details of his social networking sites. Both of us deleted our dating profiles and we were happy with eachother, during our relationship. Unfortunately we did end up growing apart.
However, you do have insecurities, there are trust issues. You're only trying to convince yourself otherwise. If he is trustworthy, then the ball lies with you

Lint Spotted:
This isn't trust... this is reserving trust until such a time as a little doubt comes into play.
I dated a gentleman that was extremely handsome, and one time as I was cleaning out his pockets to wash his jeans, I found a matchbook with a name and phone number in it... my first thought was not that he had something going on the side.

ForumFilly
I have accidentally sent a rose to someone. I meant to enclose a photo and hit the wrong button and didn't realize it until he wrote to thank me. Ooop!!!! Totally unintended! I, also, have friends on here who have had roses disappear when they swear they haven't sent any. I'd give him the benefit of the doubt. If all other aspects of your relationship is doing well, don't let something like that throw you off.
If your profile is hidden but you are on each other's favorites list, you can view each other's profiles.

[kteire]

Sorry, that was too long to read with all the comments, haha. I read the first bit anyways. I can get wanting to hang on to old things to remind you of your SO, but I do find keeping profiles on a dating site active is a bit odd. Could you just print out your conversations from there and look at them when you're nostalgic? And have him do the same? But that aside, has he ever given you reason not to trust him, other than a virtual rose on a website? Close down your profile, don't look his up. Ask him to do the same, and forget about the rose. It doesn't sound like much to be suspicious about, so give him the benefit of the doubt.

[kiara_silver]

I've seen this site. To me its a dating site and that if your with your SO there's no need to have it any more.I just wouldn't like to see my SO on a site that's meant to meet others for the main purpose of dating, weather taken or not it is a dating site. Like kteire said, Now that you have found your SO there Can't you save in a document your first conversations, then both of you delete your accounts? I would bring it up to your SO and ask this, and im sure he will put your worries to ease by taking it down. If not I would think that just a bit fishy. I personally don't like the idea of having a account on dating sites after your taken.

[1_click_away]

They weren't active, just never deleted I guess. Mine was "hidden" Not that it matters, I suppose in hindsight it is a little weird. I just printed out a copy of his profile, and will print mine and hope to make a little book or something to frame out of it. Maybe for V-day or Christmas. He deleted no questions asked and mine will be as soon as I can charge my laptop enough to go print it. I appreciate the opinions and advice.... This situation really brings to light how much non-LDR's really just have no idea what it's like....and the fact that people are just so rude sometimes! Stupid rose is forgotten, will be in the back of my mind for some time, but I've got no reason to hang onto it. He's the one. and that's THAT!

[Jgui]

I met my SO on a dating website and we are both clear that it would be forbidden to have the profile active if we were to get
Into a relationship...

[snow_girl]

I stopped reading half way through your first post, but is it possible that the rose was gone long before you noticed it?

If he deleted his profile no problem then why worry about something so trivial if you have never had any reason to doubt him before?

[1_click_away]

you get 2 every 30 days. He's convinced it was because it was inactive. I guess regardless this is the first and only cause for concern in a year and a half. I'm just going to try to forget about it, and hope nothing like this every happen again. We did make it clear to each other in the beginning that we'd be exclusive and not see other people, and I guess both assumed and trusted each other to not be talking to others of course, whether he decided to totally delete the profile or just not sign on. Didn't really matter to us as there was never any trust issues there. until I went and checked it. I think a lot of it has to do with me maybe being a bit overdramatic because we are kind of at a rough patch, having to wait the longest we've ever had to wait to see each other again, and him being so busy with work and school lately, he's hardly got the time to text me. Just makes me think too much with all of it happening at once. Yet I don't want to be the girl that waits around and ends up screwed over because she ignored the red flags. One red flag I think deserves the benefit of doubt....wish me luck

[Minerva]

I stopped reading half way through your first post, but is it possible that the rose was gone long before you noticed it?

It's kind of confusing, but one of the replies said the roses replenish after 30 days. So he had to have given it out within the last 30 days.

OP: some are saying you're getting worked up over nothing. I don't agree. If nothing else, it proves he's been active on his dating profile in the last 30 days. And I've no idea what giving away a rose signifies on that site, but I assume it's something flirty.

That doesn't sit well with me. It's a dating site -- the whole reason for being active on such a site is to find people to date. He's already in a committed relationship with you. That he's still active and playing around on such a site, even if innocently -- not a great sign. I'd talk to him about it and see what he says.

ETA: K, just read your above reply. If you're comfortable that it's just a glitch and you believe him, then that's good. Ignore what I've said above.

[Haley53]

ETA: K, just read your above reply. If you're comfortable that it's just a glitch and you believe him, then that's good. Ignore what I've said above.

I did want to add to this. I would talk to him about it, frankly, even still. Yes, it may be "one" red flag that deserves the "benefit of the doubt," but I have a feeling my gut would be reeling if the rose was given out within 30 days of its disappearance on top of this being your longest wait to see one another again, causing you to describe it as going through a "rough patch," and on top of him being so busy. My partner is incredibly busy with what's going on in his life. He does not have internet access or even a working phone (he can't hear out of it). He still makes the time to get in touch with me on a daily basis, whether it's a simple "poke" through Facebook or whether it's a lengthy text, or even a short, simple text to tell me he loves me etc. No matter how busy I am, I tend to be the same. Though different people value different levels of contact differently, if this is all happening around the same time, then frankly, it's something I would confront him about. I wouldn't bother asking him for his password; in my opinion, that will do more harm than good.

[Engel]

It's kind of confusing, but one of the replies said the roses replenish after 30 days. So he had to have given it out within the last 30 days.

OP: some are saying you're getting worked up over nothing. I don't agree. If nothing else, it proves he's been active on his dating profile in the last 30 days. And I've no idea what giving away a rose signifies on that site, but I assume it's something flirty.

That doesn't sit well with me. It's a dating site -- the whole reason for being active on such a site is to find people to date. He's already in a committed relationship with you. That he's still active and playing around on such a site, even if innocently -- not a great sign. I'd talk to him about it and see what he says.

ETA: K, just read your above reply. If you're comfortable that it's just a glitch and you believe him, then that's good. Ignore what I've said above.

agree. something else would be if he had an account there and forgot to delete, because he forgot it existed. but if its a site he was active on, and even met you on, i dont know why he would still keep it.

---------- Post added at 02:56 AM ---------- Previous post was at 02:56 AM ----------

It's kind of confusing, but one of the replies said the roses replenish after 30 days. So he had to have given it out within the last 30 days.

OP: some are saying you're getting worked up over nothing. I don't agree. If nothing else, it proves he's been active on his dating profile in the last 30 days. And I've no idea what giving away a rose signifies on that site, but I assume it's something flirty.

That doesn't sit well with me. It's a dating site -- the whole reason for being active on such a site is to find people to date. He's already in a committed relationship with you. That he's still active and playing around on such a site, even if innocently -- not a great sign. I'd talk to him about it and see what he says.

ETA: K, just read your above reply. If you're comfortable that it's just a glitch and you believe him, then that's good. Ignore what I've said above.

agree. something else would be if he had an account there and forgot to delete, because he forgot it existed. but if its a site he was active on, and even met you on, i dont know why he would still keep it.