I just got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach

[Daylan]

I was talking with my girlfriend not too long ago and she said that she was in a crap mood and annoyed. I automatically thought I done something wrong, even though I couldn't figure out what. I asked her why she was annoyed and she said she didn't want to talk about it because it would get her more annoyed and she was going to bed. She said "night night" and I said "Good night. I love you <3" like I always do. Usually she would say I love you too, but she only gave me <3....Maybe I'm over analyzing this, but when I saw that, I got this rotten feeling in the pit of my stomach and it's not going away....Should I ask her tomorrow why she was annoyed or just leave her be? I want to ask her because the last time she was annoyed was because it was something I done and that didn't end well...I'm scared that I've done something inadvertently to piss her off and I don't want to do that because she said that if I did what I did again, she would leave me. Call me clingy, but I don't want to let her go Maybe I'm making a mountain out of a molehill and freakin myself out, but I can't shake the feeling. When I was talking to her, she seemed kinda...distant. idk anymore I want to go to sleep, but I can't. Should I text her now? What should I do??

[Madge]

I guess you could text her and say something like, "hay just thinking of you hope you are feeling better..love you"

Give her the night to sleep it over and then talk to her in the morning or something

[Haley53]

Personally, I would leave it. If she left to go to sleep, talk to her in the morning. My partner's currently undergoing quite a bit of stress at the moment, and it does play into his mood a fair bit. Yes, he's generally affectionate on leaving and still says he loves me, but there are times lately when he has a shitty day and wants to curl up and sleep and his texts are shorter; hell, even earlier, I got a "Yes lol." in response to something I said and an "I love you too." in response to something else, when normally his text messages would be more elaborate, but he doesn't always want to talk about it immediately, sometimes would prefer to go to bed, and I don't want to exacerbate the situation by pushing him. My opinion is leave her be for now and speak to her when she's up. You don't need to ask her why she's annoyed. Ask her if she's feeling better and if she wants to talk about it. If she says yes and no, let it go. Try not to psychoanalyse, because it can drive people up the wall when what they want is space/to not talk about something.

[Daylan]

Personally, I would leave it. If she left to go to sleep, talk to her in the morning. My partner's currently undergoing quite a bit of stress at the moment, and it does play into his mood a fair bit. Yes, he's generally affectionate on leaving and still says he loves me, but there are times lately when he has a shitty day and wants to curl up and sleep and his texts are shorter; hell, even earlier, I got a "Yes lol." in response to something I said and an "I love you too." in response to something else, when normally his text messages would be more elaborate, but he doesn't always want to talk about it immediately, sometimes would prefer to go to bed, and I don't want to exacerbate the situation by pushing him. My opinion is leave her be for now and speak to her when she's up. You don't need to ask her why she's annoyed. Ask her if she's feeling better and if she wants to talk about it. If she says yes and no, let it go. Try not to psychoanalyse, because it can drive people up the wall when what they want is space/to not talk about something.

She has been REALLY stressed lately what with school and family and the holidays. When I asked why she was annoyed, she said that she didn't want to talk about it, so I let her be. To me, it makes me feel kind of helpless when she doesn't want to talk about it because I always envisioned myself as the kind of boyfriend that be told anything and I can try my damnedest to help in any sort of way...but that's never the case. And just in case you ask, no I don't get to the point where I don't want to talk about something. I've always been the kind of person who talks about things because it makes me feel better and by talking I also can come to a solution on how to help with whatever is bothering me. It's weird not being able to talk about it and helping...I guess I need to learn that other people don't work the same way I do. This is all new territory to me because I've never been in a relationship like the one we have, so I'm trying to tred lightly and figure how to be at least a good boyfriend.

[carolynred]

I agree with the posts above. Give her the night to sleep it off, as a girl I know that we can get into moods that just affect everything. If she acts better tomorrow, I wouldn't worry about it. Sometimes we can let emotions control every single aspect. Take a deep breathe, you're alright. I over-analyze things too, its just to make sure everything is ok right? It sounds like you care very much, but don't let yourself go crazy. xD Just be there for her for when she's ready and I'm sure things will be just fine.

[yayagrl]

Just by telling her that you are there for her when she is ready to talk is being a good boyfriend in MY opinion. Just give her a bit of space and let her talk to you when she is ready

[uniquefem]

Girls usually tends in to a certain mood swing... don't blame your self too much.

I think she just love you like before the <3 sign.. and its just meant nothing. Text her the next day and ask how she doing, and said you think about her and love her. And give her some space/time after that. Hope by seing your text she will know that you care about her and what bothers her.

Hope she will feeling all right

[Engel]

Girls usually tends in to a certain mood swing... don't blame yourself too much.

that. give her time to sleep over it. im like her, sometimes talking abou the problem just makes me more stressed/annoyed. so i wait til I calm down or sleep and them I can talk about it with my SO and my friends.

[Bethypoo]

I know i am responding the next day but i agree with alot of the people above. If she is fine the day after then leave it be. If things are still a bit off then go ahead and ask her. When i am in a mood like that and my SO isnt sure if it is him or something else, he will usually ask if it has something to do with him and if the answer is no he just leaves it alone and says he is here when i am ready to talk.

Women have moods that seem to change often, i know, i am one. Just give her a minute then ask. Im sure it was just a bad mood.

[Daylan]

Yeah, we just talked for a little while not too long ago. She says she's still in a crap mood, but she's going skating then going to the mall later. Hopefully that'll get her feelin' better...I'm not going to ask because it's already too late to do so anyway, but I'm sure it wasn't something I did...at least I hope not anyway I usually ask her if it was something I did, but she had already went bed and I didn't want to bother her about it. I texted her this morning and said that I hope she gets to feeling better and that I am always here for her and that I love her so very much no matter what. Whether she wants to talk about it is totally up to her, but it peaked me interest as to what bothered her so my heart that she got annoyed...oh well...I appreciate everyone's responses, and I'm glad that I have people to rely on when I'm feeling like I did last night I love you guys :3 haha

[Haley53]

My partner's mother recently passed away, and his moods have been up and down and every which way. As someone who, like you, does not hesitate to want to talk things out with a close friend or especially a partner, because it does help me to feel better as well, it's been a difficult adjustment. I pull closer to people in times of great stress, tragedy, etc. and to have the hot and cold signals I've been getting, though they're normal (I watched my mother go through this experience when she lost her mother/my grandmother as well), it can be hard not to take it personally, especially when in that situation, you're pretty darn sure you'd be reaching out. I apologise if I offended you (I couldn't interpret the tone of your post in response to mine), because I more meant to share what I've learned, as I am also dealing with a situation with a REALLY stressed out partner and am also someone who would reach out as opposed to withdrawing/wanting to deal with it on my own and I have also had to learn not to take it personally and not to smother him even though I'm used to a level of openness I've not received from any man before.

[Sierra]

When I'm moody and I tell my boyfriend I love you and he doesn't say it back I get really insecure. But I've been working on it lately and now it doesn't bother me, because he does randomly say 'I love you' to me. I know he loves me, sometimes it's just not as important for him to say it (to him) and I now feel secure enough in his love that I know that just because it went unspoken doesn't mean the feeling isn't there.

[Daylan]

My partner's mother recently passed away, and his moods have been up and down and every which way. As someone who, like you, does not hesitate to want to talk things out with a close friend or especially a partner, because it does help me to feel better as well, it's been a difficult adjustment. I pull closer to people in times of great stress, tragedy, etc. and to have the hot and cold signals I've been getting, though they're normal (I watched my mother go through this experience when she lost her mother/my grandmother as well), it can be hard not to take it personally, especially when in that situation, you're pretty darn sure you'd be reaching out. I apologise if I offended you (I couldn't interpret the tone of your post in response to mine), because I more meant to share what I've learned, as I am also dealing with a situation with a REALLY stressed out partner and am also someone who would reach out as opposed to withdrawing/wanting to deal with it on my own and I have also had to learn not to take it personally and not to smother him even though I'm used to a level of openness I've not received from any man before.

No offense taken I'm the kind of person who is hard to offend, so if you think that you do, trust me you don't...unless you just bluntly come out and offend me :P lol Anyway, I'm dreading the day that her mom passes away because she's been deathly ill as of late with a Thyroid Storm and if it happens anytime soon, she would just be destroyed and I couldn't do anything to help her because we're thousands of miles away and I don't have the funds to go visit her. Hopefully everything will be fine...fingers crossed.

At any rate, I try not to smother her by trying to make her talk and it's really hard. I think at one point I tried to help her understand my point of view of being open, but she didn't like it...oh well :P

[Haley53]

No offense taken I'm the kind of person who is hard to offend, so if you think that you do, trust me you don't...unless you just bluntly come out and offend me :P lol Anyway, I'm dreading the day that her mom passes away because she's been deathly ill as of late with a Thyroid Storm and if it happens anytime soon, she would just be destroyed and I couldn't do anything to help her because we're thousands of miles away and I don't have the funds to go visit her. Hopefully everything will be fine...fingers crossed.

At any rate, I try not to smother her by trying to make her talk and it's really hard. I think at one point I tried to help her understand my point of view of being open, but she didn't like it...oh well :P

I don't have the means of going to visit my partner. I don't have the money for the hotel or even a hostel and to be honest, he's been extraordinarily busy. Though they have familial support in the sense he and his 15-year-old brother aren't currently homeless, he's still been in charge of most everything, and it's ultimately going to be him and his brother (whom he's the legal guardian of) moving out on their own, so for me, it's not merely a mean of funding but a mean of time as well. I wouldn't want to be an imposition, on him/what he needs to get done or his family. Does your girlfriend have her family's support?

You and I sound very similar because I feel extremely helpless. Even when his mother was ill, when she had not yet passed, I felt helpless and somewhat hopeless as well. It was difficult because I blamed and criticised the distance, but the thing is, the distance is only one issue. I've realised that even if I lived where my partner does, it likely would not turn out the way I foresaw it in my head. Because it is an upheaval and it is stressful and it is difficult and I don't think anyone can understand it, myself included, without having gone through it. :/ But I think what people like you and I need to remember is that being there and being available to listen when they want to talk does wonders. For example, my partner has friends he goes out with or people he texts because they're another friend/escape, and like I said, it's hard not to take it personally if they're "chosen over me" (that's not the case, merely my perception of it), but in the end, I'm the one who understands him the most. I see the good and the bad and the ugly because I'm the one that's going to be there for him, through thick and thin. I am his partner (though we're currently label-less due to his not being able to maintain a relationship at the moment, our relationship has not changed), and that won't change because of something like this. I am the constant, the one who gets it, and so are you. :P And so you're going to have to deal with the moods that aren't safe for her to be taking out on anyone else. You're going to have to deal with the moods that everyone fragile couldn't take, because she's probably needing, or would need if worst came to worst, a lot of support, and not all of it is going to be wanting to talk about it. Some of it's simply going to be wanting to take her mind off it, and it's easier to do that with someone she's not particularly close to. Unfortunately, the people we're closest to tend to bear the brunt of our worst sides in any great struggle, so as much as it hurts, I try to take it as a compliment at times. I use the term "compliment" loosely, because it's not flattering, but if my partner didn't feel safe doing what he needs to do, he wouldn't. And the fact that he does, did, and still does, without that, we wouldn't have the relationship we do. So even if your girlfriend may withdraw from you at times or even lash out because of the stress she's going through, so long as it's not constant, as we should all draw the line somewhere, I would guess she's doing it because she's closest to you. It's a weird paradox of life.

And I think in this situation, in any situation where close family members are ill or one passes, there's really no logic. For example, my partner has stated things like "this is permanent for the time being" or "I don't want our relationship to change, but we don't have a relationship at the moment" etc. He doesn't see that it's confusing as hell, but it is. :P And I have to be open to that given everything that's happened. He has too much on his plate to worry about maintaining a relationship as well and if removing the titles for the time being/temporarily helps him feel better/feel less pressure, then great. Does it make sense? Not really when nothing's changed, no, and when neither of us are seeing anybody else and when we're still more or less exclusive to one another even if the technical, labelled commitment isn't there. But it's where he's at. So I think that the most important thing you can do is work on not stressing out or worrying about things being about you. She's at where she's at and in her situation, like in my partner's, it's hard to make coherent sense. I can't think of anyone I've seen go through it who's done it. :/ So be there for her, but don't push it, because I promise you that the space, when asked for, is more appreciated then the pressing to talk. Even if it goes against your intuition/judgment. The text you sent her about loving her and being there for her was good. Remind her of it, but don't push the issue. And most importantly, work on the fun bit. I know my partner, when his mother was sick, loved coming home from the hospital to play Minecraft on Skype with me or to be on Skype with me in general. Little things like that help keep spirits up and that's important.

Hang in there, and if you ever need to talk, you can PM me.

[Ms.Justine]

Women have mood swings, I get them allt he time whether it be stress or my birth control. My boyfriend is always on his toes to say the least...Honestly, give her some time to cool off. When I am pissed or annoyed sometimes I just need my time to cool off - or i'll end up taking my aggression or anger out on the people I love most...it's an awful cycle. Anyway, give her some time and then maybe shoot her a text in the afternoon saying: "Hey, I hope everything is alright and that you're feeling somewhat better. Thinking if you. "

See where that goes. Good luck!