Is it wrong to cuddle...

[NaNi]

Yes.

[Laura_N]

I think it kind of depends on how you define cuddling. I have lived with my friends in a dormitory for a little over two years, and we've got really close here, and by that I mean friendly physically close. So we do a lot of hugging, especially if one of us is down. For example, I was feeling really low on Thursday and my roommate sat with me on my bed and had her arms wrapped around me. Personally, I don't think that's wrong when it is about being friends. But it gets a whole different meaning if it's made in a romantic manner.

[Engel]

These things ALWAYS need to be defined by the couple in question; no one can answer this but you. You have to define your boundaries together.

Once you've defined the boundaries, stick to them. If you thought her cuddling with other people is crossing a line, don't do it just because she said it's OK. If you think it's wrong, don't violate your own morals. Because even if she says it's OK, you'll end up feeling guilty. Don't compromise yourself.

And she needs to get over her guilt and talk to you. A relationship shouldn't be tit-for-tat, I hurt you now it's ok for you to hurt me back. That's not healthy. Tell her you want to define yhr boundaries, that you need the boundaries, that it's very important. Tell her what's in the past is in the past, and that you both need to move forward and figure out together what's OK and what's not. Because if you can't do that, you're each at risk of hurting the other.

exactly, I would not like my so cuddling with another girl. if it was a close relative (mother, sister, grandma, ) I would have no problem with it.
And I dont mind him hugging friends, I guess it just deppends on the way it is done. A longer hug when you havent seen someone in a good while is ok. But doing that everytime, I wouldnt be ok.
And about cuddling with female friends of his? out of question for me. Hugs and kisses on the cheeks are as far as it would go.
I cuddle with my brother or my mother watching tv sometimes. or with a female friend, and he has no problem with it.

[Kerry]

I'm one of those people who doesn't cuddle with anyone except my bf. I've never cuddled with male friends- a hug hello- sure- but no cuddling. if my bf cuddles with another woman I wouldn't like it and would be quite mad at him for doing so.

[HerSunflower]

Well I haven't spoken to her about her feelings towards it since I asked her to not cuddle with her friends but there's something else that's bothering me. What if she thinks it's okay? Is it wrong of me to keep telling her to stop just for me? Because I'd feel so selfish. I mean it's a big deal...To me if she cuddles with anyone it's probably just as worse as if she kissed someone on the lips. Does such a relationship ...where one person thinks it's okay to cuddle and the other one doesn't, even have a chance at functioning well?

[Haley53]

In my opinion, asking someone not to cuddle with someone outside the relationship is not that big of a deal, regardless of their feelings on the matter. For example, whereas two people might be fine sharing a bed with someone of the opposite sex when single, understandably, there are a lot of partners who would have issues with their partner sharing a bed with someone else, especially if cuddling or any form of "friendly" touching was involved. Some things change when you enter a relationship. People have to make sacrifices and compromises. If it's so important to her that there are issues surrounding it, such as there's leftover resentment, or she's continuing to hold it against you, or she continuously brings it up in anger, and so on and so forth, then yes, I would think there's some amount of incompatibility. Considering from your original post it doesn't sound like it's been brought up routinely, and only was because your roles were reversed in the situation, I would guess that she's fine with it.

[rsvpnj]

I agree with most of the other posters... Cuddling is very intimate.... I would be livid if my SO cuddled with another woman... and I know he would feel the same if the situation was reversed...

We use a pretty basic method to gauge our behavior when away from each other... If we are doing something that we could not do in front of our SO... then we shouldn't be doing it...

[Minerva]

I cuddle my son (though he's reaching that age in which he quickly pushes me away and says, "mooOOOOooom."). So cuddling can certainly be nonsexual.

I dunno. I don't think I'd like my SO cuddling another woman, but I think depending on the circumstances, I might be OK with it. It would have to be completely nonsexual and not a regular occurance. But comforting a friend... I think I could be OK with that.

We both have friends of the opposite sex, and I think a good guideline for behaviour is "would I do this with my same sex friends?" and if not, it's best to back off. Works for me at least.

[MadMolly]

Me being one who doesn't see cuddling as a big deal - if my significant other asked me to not do it, I would have no problem with that and respect his wishes. (Not that I actually cuddle anyone anyway. Lol.)

[elizabethjp2010]

if you think its wrong dont do it. short of cuddling with family and acting, i dont snuggle with anyone other than my SO. but you both need to be open minded on how the other one feels.

[HerSunflower]

Just want to say thank you to everyone for their advice. We talked it through and I feel like we are alot closer now and we can now trust each other more. I'm still exhausted from talking it through though..she is too. But I know things will get better now that we can cuddle together and not have to have doubts or insecurities anymore. ^^ We chose to not cuddle with anyone other than each other. <3 Thanks again everyone...

[Caitlin2009]

ehhhh i would be upset if Denise told me she cuddled with someone else, as its been said cuddling is very intimate and should only be with your partner, cuddling with someone else is crossing the line for me