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Only a few weeks left, feeling the panic

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    Only a few weeks left, feeling the panic

    My SO has been here for about 6 weeks now out of his 8 week trip. We have been having so much fun, and fell so much deeper in love these weeks it has been a dream. They always say someone in a relationship loves more, but ours breaks that rule. Just when I think maybe I love him so much that there could be no way he feels the same, he proves me wrong. I think sometimes he is delusional, since to him I am perfection. My noises, my scent, my laugh, my smile....he loves them all and sometimes catches me off guard when he randomly tells me "God, you are so beautiful". I feel exactly the same about him, watching him sleep makes me want to cry sometimes because I feel so amazed and blessed that this handsome, funny, smart and loving man is in my life and chose ME. He is so amazing, everything he does is amazing. My cats adore him, so much it astonishes me...and my parents love him too. My dad finds him hilarious and my mom is charmed by him. I hit the jackpot

    That said, I am FREAKING OUT. In 3 weeks this incredible man will fly back to England and leave my physical world. He will be back to being a image on the other side of a camera. No more late night board games in bed, no more random trips out to the 24 store for snacks at 3am just cause. I will be alone again, and he will be untouchable. If all goes as planned, it will only be 8 months until he is back again for a short visit. Yet 8 months feels an eternity. That is also dependent on this huge test he needs to pass to get into the officers course at RMAS. He flunks it and we will be thrown into limbo, not knowing when or if he can come back. That is terrifying. I just spent 30 minutes crying curled up in bed with him, soaking his shoulder. He kissed my head, told me it will be ok and that he will make it work...but gog am I scared. The possibility, however remote, that when he walks away from me in the airport that he will never come back is more than I can even bare to think of. I hate it, he seems so confident and I wish I could be

    #2
    Ahhhh. That feeling sucks. I remember talking to my mum on the phone when it was coming to the end of my trip, and she gave me some good advice. She told me that the only thing I could deal with now (then) was the present. To enjoy every day that I could, right up until the end, because if I was too busy being sad when I was with him, I'd forget to make the memories I could treasure when we were apart.
    I'm not sure what else I can say to make it better, but I think you should go back to your man, squeeze every last little bit of fun and happiness and love you can get out of your visit, and when it's over, and you feel like crap, you have a massive support group here who will happily be your shoulder to cry on and help get you through the rough times.
    If you love each other like you say, you can be strong, and you can do this. You will be able to make it work, and make visits happen, and you will be so happy. *BIG HUG*. Now, go give him a big big kiss!

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      #3
      I am glad that the two of you are having a good time together

      That being said, the goodbye is always painful forsure especially for the first visit..it will be hard saying goodbye but try not to dwell on it for the last bit of your time together.

      Everything happens for a reason as the saying goes and if it is 8 months until you see him again then try and think of the positives! you have way less than a year in which you will see your SO again and if he doesn't pass this course then there are always other options as my SO and I have found out. When you want to be together you WILL find a way to make it possible

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        #4
        You don't want to waste these last few weeks crying about missing him, already! Make the most out of it! And 8 months will go by fast, just spend as much time together as possible online, watching videos online together, skyping, etc. It will be almost like he's there! <3
        <3

        I love my Brazilian. Do you love yours too?

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          #5
          Im so glad you are enjoying your time together!!!

          Breathe. You still have three weeks. But I would suggest talking to him now about how you are feeling about the separation. I tried to do this with my SO before I left again but he didn't want to do it. I feel like if we would have talked about it before it would have made things a bit easier. It kind of is a way to share in the pain together before you have to go and deal with it alone. IDK, just a suggestion. But enjoy your time and make the best of it!
          Got together Jan 3, 2011~ Closed the Distance March 23, 2012~ Living Together Since June 19 2012~ Future TBD......

          I miss you more than I ever could have believed; and I was prepared to miss you a good deal." ~ Vita Sackville-west

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            #6
            Aww I'm glad you both had a great time together! My SO always catches me off guard and tells me how beautiful I am it's the sweetest thing ever!

            The longer you spend Time with someone the harder it is to let go. I feel the same you you're feeling everytime i leave my SO.

            Stay strong and you both will be together soon

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              #7
              I go for routines. Try to think of things you did before he was there that you aren't doing now and make sure you do them once he is gone. When my SO left after a three month visit, I was lucky to jump right back into an internship I was doing, then quickly my sleeping patterns and ways I do things around my apartment fell back to where I was when I lived alone. Its not the most ideal thing, but it will feel normal and old, like nothing had changed. And like always you can begin to think about the next trip or next Skype date whatever can lift your mood. Its a tough time but you will make it to the other side.

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                #8
                This is really close to my own experience he was here for about 8 weeks, was our first visit ever, and when he comes back it will have been 9 months. So I can say I know what your going through. As it got closer for him to go I would get so sad, and those last two days were so bitter sweet. He was there but it was ending. It was horrible as well as great if that makes sense. Time really goes by to fast when you want it to freeze and to slow when you want it to hurry. My advice, just continue as your doing cherish the moments, hug him, I wish I hugged my SO more, kiss him, just enjoy it. Oh take pictures and videos, cause after he left I made a scrap book and replay the videos and it comforts me when i miss him. Have him leave behind a shirt, so you can have till the scent fades. It's hard but you will get through this and see him again. Stay strong!
                I love you Nathan <3
                sigpic
                5/25/09 <3

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