Wanting to Give Up

[Zephii]

You're always welcome

I think the reason it's a flower is just that people assosiate flowers (generally) with happiness, love, spring, fun and those kinds of things. Of course, each type of flowers has it's own properties, it's own "magickal energy" if you will, and also it's cultural assosiations. Red roses = love, carnationsa are for your mum etc Flowers have been given as gifts since forever. Also, many have scents that have proven uses when inhaled.

[raiblade3]

Hope you feel better soon!

[NineInchNails_x]

I can't imagine what you are going through. My mom had cancer, and my best friend as well, so I've witnessed many of the after effects of close friends of theirs pass away. My mom recently lost her mother about a year ago. It's hard, and I don't think there are really any words that anyone can use to comfort you. Just know that if he could be happy, he would, and you are giving him such a great gift by standing by his side at such a difficult time. Five years from now he will be able to look back and ADMIRE what a wonderful woman you've been for sticking with him through one of the hardest times he will ever go through. I'm not sure exactly what your situation is. I have read some of your other posts and it sounds like to me you are on a break. When he starts to feel better about the situation I really think this hard time will benefit you both in the end. You are able to make it through THIS, you have been so STRONG, so loyal, that you will be able to make it through anything together. I wish there was a way to make it better. But you'll both make it through this stronger in the end. You are there for him for better or for worse, and that's the best thing you could give him. Things will gradually get easier, trust me. It won't always be this hard. I'm so sorry you and him both are having to go through this. I can't imagine.

[Haley53]

@Zephii - Oh, okay. Thank you!

@NineInchNails - Thank you very much for your words of support and of comfort. I'm not sure what we'd be considered. He doesn't want to lead me on by saying it's only a break, but he can't think in any terms other than "today," preventing him from really defining it as anything more than "permanent for the time being," "you're not my girlfriend for right now," etc. He really cannot think beyond tomorrow, and it's been hard, simply because it has not been defined, but that's where he's at and as a result, I'm there too. A lot of people have said they feel this is only temporary, but it's hard to keep the faith in that. I'm having a hard time drawing the line between being optimistic/keeping the faith and putting stock in false hope. :/ I suppose the best way to describe where I'm at would be to be honest about the fact I don't have any expectations for what will happen - hopes? Yes. Expectations? No. - but with every swing of his moods... I feel more than confident on the days he's affectionate and present, less confident when there's a "blip" in it. Saturday, he was hardly affectionate beyond "I love you" and hardly spoke. Sunday, he was a bit moreso, but gave me some odd responses to some things or ignored them completely. Friday, he was extremely affectionate with me. And that's the way it's been, up, down, up, down, all the time. And it leaves me feeling less than hopeful or optimistic sometimes that we can get through this. I feel like when things finally do get easier, there's still going to be me and him but as separate beings. :/ I spend too much time devoted to worrying, stressing, being anxious, but blarg. It's hard not to. If this hadn't've happened, we wouldn't have broken up, but I also know how much this can change someone.

[LuvSsw]

Oh Eclaire,
I have been so wrapped up in my own problems that I am just now venturing into your most significant thread. My heart goes out to you. You are such an emotionally generous person. Sending love, light and peace to you. Message me anytime~

[Haley53]

It's entirely fine. This is the reason I have actually had a hard time approaching what you've been through btw. :/ I haven't been ignoring you. I do empathise with your situation. It's simply been difficult for me, as sometimes I have energy and sometimes I don't. Thank you very much for your words. <3

[LuvSsw]

It's entirely fine. This is the reason I have actually had a hard time approaching what you've been through btw. :/ I haven't been ignoring you. I do empathise with your situation. It's simply been difficult for me, as sometimes I have energy and sometimes I don't. Thank you very much for your words. <3

never thought you were ignoring me..and even if you were..i would totally understand. Pain is Pain. and we are both going through it. i wish i could say/do something to erase it all. <3