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Do you fit in with your SO's family?

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    #16
    I havent met his family. His family is in shambles at this point so we have chosen to not bring be into his family until things get better. But im not really sure if I will fit in. He comes from a small super conservative and religions family. I come from a huge family that is conservative and somewhat religions and I don't fit in with them, since im liberal and not religious at all.

    So we will see. My dad and brother like him thought and it is a good time when we are all together. He is alot alike my dad actually
    Got together Jan 3, 2011~ Closed the Distance March 23, 2012~ Living Together Since June 19 2012~ Future TBD......

    I miss you more than I ever could have believed; and I was prepared to miss you a good deal." ~ Vita Sackville-west

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      #17
      My SO's family are great. They adore me, which isn't easy for them because I'm taking Obi away for years. It took a while to warm up to his dad, but now he and I get along best of all. We email and sometimes he steals Obi's skype to talk to me. His mum is also great, she's so much fun. We clash a little on two fronts though - religion and manners. She pushes her religion on me heavily, and in general she just has no manners at all she says what she wants, when she wants and loudly and is generally just really rude. His three grandparents are great, especially Dad's Mum. She means the world to me. I do fit in more or less, but they like to joke about my differences, my accent and cultural habits and I think I'm never going to get away from that.
      The only one I don't get along with is his sister, who has a lot of his mum's bad traits and is also terribly cheap and selfish. We have similar tastes, but nothing in common that isn't superficial. I've been making a real effort lately to for a friendship with her for Obi's sake, but I'm not sure I'll ever be comfotable with her.


      My family miss Obi terribly. They are all set for him to come home. They call him "brother" and love to share a joke with (or about) him. My extended family have not really met him yet. He's only spent four months in my country and at the time I was too poor to travel with him. But he'll meet them at the wedding if not before :P
      Happily married to the little Canadian boy I never thought I'd meet in person

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        #18
        My SO used to fit in really well with my family. They actually kind of pushed for us to get together, but things changed. My dad can barely be civil when he is around, but my mom has gotten much better recently. It's still not quite the same. My brothers don't care.
        I get along with his brother, but I don't trust him because he is into certain activities that I don't advocate, which puts a strain on our relationship sometimes since he lives with his brother. His parents? They don't have a problem with me personally (so I've been told), but they don't advocate our relationship at all. His parents are quite odd tho. They don't have much reason not to like us. His dad, we think, wants him to be like he was and date around a lot so that he will know what he wants in a wife. He doesn't seem to understand that dating around a lot isn't necessary for that. His mother is a very strange and passive aggressive beast. She, we think, doesn't like the age difference or the distance or the fact that he hid the relationship for a little while at first (to avoid this problem, might I add -and it was over 2 years ago, get over it). Then again, she doesn't like one of our friends because our friend didn't date him (and never would- they are like bro/sis). However, they are never outright about it so it is mostly conjecture. They are just plain odd.
        Family is an issue with us, but I feel that it makes us stronger sometimes. We don't argue over it. It bothers us, but it is more something that we puzzle over together from time to time. We grin and we bear it.


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          #19
          My family likes him a lot - he does well, even though it's overwhelming for him sometimes because I come from a big, close family and he doesn't. I think the more time we are able to spend together, the better he will fit in.

          I get along great with his brother and son though - sometimes when I am talking to him, the other boys will jump in. I adore them

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            #20
            I love her family so much and fit in very well, according to my SO. :3
            When I first met them, I was shy and nervous, but they made me feel so at home. I absolutely love my girlfriend's parents - they are so sweet and her Mom treats me like one of her kids. My girlfriend has three siblings, and one of her brothers, who is 16, is more of a brother to me than my own brother is. We constantly joke around and made up our own, dorky "bro" handshake. Her youngest siblings, another brother who is 6 and a little sister who is 3, are wonderful kids and they're so much fun. The 5-year-old wants to marry me (and has proposed several times, haha), and the 3-year-old is absolutely adorable - I love them and I'm so glad they'll be my siblings-in-law one day. Being with them makes me feel like I'm part of a real family.

            My family loves my SO, too, but I don't think it's that close family bond that I have with her family. My Mom is the friendliest out of the bunch, but my brother and Dad are not talkative or personable at all. I know my Dad likes her, but my brother is extremely anti-social and doesn't speak to her often - not because he dislikes her, but that's just how he is. I feel bad about it sometimes.

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              #21
              My SO's family i feel is literally my own blood and kin haha. her sisters and i get along great, her mom is really cool, her dad respects me and i respect him back we just don't talk much. not a whole lot to converse about considering the language barrier we have. but i love her family. and she's a package deal :P
              My favorite text message conversation:

              Tobby:love ko! what are you doing?
              Nika:learning how to cook love ko.
              Tobby:cooking? please put some in a plastic bag and send some to me so i can taste it! <3
              Nika: weh? your silly! I'm learning how to cook so when we get married, I'll be cooking all your meals love ko. <3
              Tobby:your so sweet.<3 marry me now? hahaha
              Nika: We're still kids love ko, lets wait until we're more mature, but you know my answer will be yes, whenever you ask!
              Tobby:I love you so much! You're the one for me, I'll wait as long as i need to love ko. love you!
              Nika:I love you too! call me Nika Sy now.. hehe
              Tobby: Addict!
              Nika: Addicted! <3

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                #22
                I think so far I do He has such a huge family because his mom remarried and his grandma remarried so its hard to get to everyone sometimes. Still trying to get brownie points with his mom because she still likes his ex girlfriend more. xD But I'm getting there
                "You will always have my heart, no matter how far we're apart" ~ Jacob

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                  #23
                  O boy, this is a sensitive topic for me. My So and I are from different ends of the spectrum as far as families go. My parents are so easy going, and friendly to whatever guy i bring home (I haven't made terrible choices in the past). I grew up in a trailer, but not poor. His parents are on the wealthier side of things, big house, multiple cars. I've only met his mother once, she almost couldn't be bothered talking to me. BC of that and that he moved here FOR me (before she convinced him to come back home), they don't particularly like me much. While i'd like to change that bc he is a Momma's boy i don't know how to change the situation atm. Seeing as i can't go see him bc I can't stay at their house.
                  "You want for myself
                  You get me like no one else
                  I am beautiful with you

                  I am beautiful with you
                  Even in the darkest part of me
                  I am beautiful with you
                  Make it feel the way it's supposed to be
                  You're here with me
                  Just show me this and I'll believe
                  I am beautiful with you"

                  -Halestorm

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                    #24
                    We didn't hit it off to well at first. His family has accepted me now. We are getting to know each other better. His family is very important to him and so am I.

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                      #25
                      Well, the two times I've met them, we didn't talk a lot. I'm a pretty shy person and my relationship with my parents isn't exactly close so I don't really know how to talk to his parents. But I hope it gets better!

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                        #26
                        I have never really fit in with my own family, so I can't expect my SO to fit in easily either. My Mom, sister, and grandma don't like the idea of a long distance relationship, but now that we've been together a while, and have actually visited each other, they realize that we love each other and accept our relationship. At my cousin's wedding, my mom introduced my SO to my cousin as "her friend". My cousin asked if he was my boyfriend and she said "no, just friend". My sister has been more welcoming though. She's helping my SO find ways to come up here. I would say he doesn't really fit in yet.

                        On the other hand, I fit in super well with his family. His Mom and I could talk about anything, his aunt and I have a special bond, and his dad and I respect each other to great lengths. They invite me to come to church too (religion is important to them, so that means a bunch to be invited). They love me, and keep asking when I can come visit them next. I wish we lived closer to them instead of living closer to my family. They make me feel a part of a real family. It's amazing.

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                          #27
                          our families are so much alike! his is like the chill version of mine, i fit in quite well i think!

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                            #28
                            I love my SO's family, all besides his father (who is old-fashioned, selfish and believes women needs to stay in the kitchen).
                            I especially love my SO's sister, whom I love to have long talks with. My SO and his sister aren't best friends - he complains that their way of thinking is too different. I wonder when he realizes that he married a girl who's way of thinking is more similar to his sister's rather than his own XD.
                            His mother and her side of the family are all such friendly people, who has really made me feel welcome and as a part of the family. And already now, a lot of his extended family likes to ask about when there will be babies on the way.

                            My SO doesn't really fit in when it comes to my very small family (but,... I don't either). My mother wants to become closer with him, but neither of them speaks English - which is also a problem for the rest of my family actually. So it is mostly just very awkward. Especially with my father who, even though he doesn't say it, still haven't really hasn't come to terms with the fact that I married a Japanese.

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                              #29
                              We haven't made it to that stage of mutual introduction. For certain reasons my parents are not to know we are together. I think they would not like him because they are not good at relating to younger people in general, and tend to judge them by their life's material accomplishments a lot. Also, as soon as my parents form judgments about people, they are stubborn as hell and refuse to see it any other way.

                              He is very independent, and has been on his own since college. I think the only reason I would ever have to meet his parents and relatives is if we were for sure getting married, because they all live in a remote part of China and he lives in the capital. So that's also not going to come any day soon.

                              He said though that his dad is close minded traditional like my parents, but his mom is very liberal and free thinking. If I had to guess I would say I could relate to his mom, but would have to tread very carefully around his dad.

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                                #30
                                My SO gave me a ridiculous answer to this question about how he gets along with my only family (my mother), so I won't even go there.

                                I don't like his extended family.

                                I do get along with his parents, although it's only been via email and webcam. There have been a few o_O moments, but in general, we get along very well.

                                His brother and I are like oil and water. We do try to be civil on the rare occasion we speak now. It's a shame, he is the only blood uncle my son has, and he could not care less that Nate is alive. (Thankfully I have friends that have stepped in as aunties and uncles for Nate!)

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