opting to do something else?

[dummy56]

Maybe I am over analyzing this but, I talk to her about how I will change and all that stuff. I am bothered by the chat because I am afraid of losing her and everything. She emails me and tells me to relax and not let my fear of losing her drive me crazy. She hasn't like explicitly/directly said anything to the effect that I won't lose her, or that she isn't doing anything bad,... this is me being paranoid and I don't know if I should be worried. I would think that if she really wasn't planning on bad stuff, she can say "you won't lose me" etc.. but she doesn't say any of these things. Is that bad? She just says to not worry about it and to relax.

[ChibiFelicia]

She is not like some hard core video game person. If she is on the computer she's most likely in the chat and probably playing some solitaire or something. She doesn't do this all the time. It's just that when we get off video chat she goes right for it. It's really the chat thing that bothers me. I can deal with her playing solitaire but it's that she gets the fun/stimulation from chat instead of me. Or that she isn't getting enough from me that she has to go to the chat as well. Sometimes she really is just in such a pissy angry mood that she just doesn't come online for me and instead goes to the chat. I think this is bad, but at the same time I can see how it'd be normal to want to talk to other people and stuff.

Ok she may be in the wrong....but your way of thinking is...how can i say it nicely...unhealthy "I can deal with her playing solitaire but it's that she gets the fun/stimulation from chat instead of me." Ok if this were a healthy relationship i think maybe you wouldnt be so insecure but honestly i know i cant be my mans everything (we say we wanna be but thats just unrealistic) so them getting fun/stimulation from other people i think is fine. And is needed. I wouldnt want to be my mans only source of entertainment. He needs his own time and i need mine. And vice versa. It'd be tiring to be my mans only bit of fun/stimulation.

Seriously though...like madmolly said and im afriad to say it myself she does not seem to be interested in you. And as i said in my earlier post i hope she stops doing this to you. It's gonna tkae you a long time to recover and get your head around that the way you're acting right now....it really isnt gonna be healthy for any relationship.

[Bethypoo]

It depends. Have the two of you discussed the amount of time that you would like to talk on any particular day? If so, and you are getting that then I dont think there is a reason for you to be upset. But if there was a majority of time in which he is choosing computer games ect over you, then that is not okay.

I think that you need to talk to him. Let him know that it bugs you. Just remember that he is allowed to have some time to his self and doesnt always have to talk to you on his down time. But if the games are really taking away from you personal time, then by all means, let him know that there is an issue.

[dummy56]

I'm afraid you guys are right. She really does seem to have lost the interest. This has been going on for too long. I guess I'll just behave good and hope maybe she'll stick with it, if not then.. she can decide. But thanks guys..

[MadMolly]

Why don't you be assertive and do something yourself, instead of waiting for her juuuust in case she acts better? You KNOW she isn't interested. KEEP YOUR DIGNITY and end things. Stop being a doormat.

[weetzie]

I'm that person often. Sometimes there are shows I want to watch that he doesn't like, games I want to play, music I want to listen to. I can't just come on and Skype with him all night long every day. There's stuff I want to do. And it makes me sad that he gets upset about it, but just sometimes, I do want to do something else.

[Kerry]

this wouldn't work for me. if my bf and I are online at the same time we have to be talking to each other. I'm glad that he doesn't play online games or video games for that matter.

also, when one partner decides to do other stuff rather than talk to their partner that's a red flag. especially if this becomes more and more frequent to the point where communication ceases.