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**ChibiFelicia** · November 20, 2011, 12:26 PM

firstly *hugs*

From what you said it does just seem like he's upset that you couldnt pick up and threw a lil strop over it. Im sure he understands that you couldnt pick up and not because you didnt want to talk to him. He's probably as you said had a bad day and needed some comfort. Try not to get too upset, it's not like you couldve done anything different, im sure he'll understand when he calms down. Stop beating yourself up about it!

**Haley53** · November 20, 2011, 12:33 PM

I may be in the wrong here, but I can see where he would be upset. :/ I'm assuming that both of you are well aware of the minutes/time you have on your phone and are therefore both able to "budget" it out, hence the reason you text only a few times per day, yet even being aware of this, he still called you multiple times and even texted you asking that you answer. Even being aware of the situation with credit on your phones, he prioritised that phone call over being able to text the next little while. Whether it was because he had a "bad day" or because he received some life-changing bit of information, in that moment, he still needed you enough to do away with the credit limit and call, and no matter how long you would have been able to talk, it still would have been something. So I do think he has a right to be angry/upset because I do think that you made this decision based on what you wanted to do and not on the fact that he needed you. If you can both use Facebook to text/talk (you mentioned it's free to do so, and I'm assuming he can access FB on his phone?), then I don't see where picking up your phone to talk with him would have been a problem.

However, what's done is done. I would personally give him time and space to cool off. Stop sending him little text messages like you are, and wait. You may end up pushing him further away by smothering him when he's feeling upset and/or angry, and I doubt that that's what either of you want, so give him space and let him come to you when he's ready. As someone who tends to be impulsive with her phone when she's been upset, I can personally vouch for that those little text messages don't do much good. :P So let it go. Wait for him to calm down, work on calming down yourself, and you'll both talk when you're feeling better.

**rcknmommy** · November 20, 2011, 12:56 PM

Maybe you're right. Maybe I am in the wrong and should've answered. I defiantly feel like I done something wrong. It's just he's tried to call be earlier this week and when I asked him whether he would like a few mins on the phone and days without talking to me at all or getting to at least talk through text everyday until his computer is fixed he told me he wouldn't want to go a day without hearing from me. So I thought we had established that it would be better to text. I see where you are coming from though.

I wasn't planning on sending any more texts. Just going to wait until I hear from him again. Which I'm hoping is soon because this is killing me.

Thank you both for replying.

**Mara** · November 20, 2011, 01:10 PM

I don't think you did anything wrong necessarily. Sounds like he was just having a really rough day. I think he was more upset at the situation [not being able to talk to you when he needed to] than at you. I'd just give him some space and time to realize that. He'll come around.

**NaNi** · November 20, 2011, 01:26 PM

I would be upset too. I don't see why you didn't answer him. He obviously needed to talk, so you shouldn't have cared about your minutes in that moment. At least I wouldn't have. What if something happened? Or if he simply needed someone to talk to? You're his girlfriend. He should be able to turn to you.

**Biddlybiddlybombop** · November 20, 2011, 01:45 PM

Originally posted by NaNi View Post

I would be upset too. I don't see why you didn't answer him. He obviously needed to talk, so you shouldn't have cared about your minutes in that moment. At least I wouldn't have. What if something happened? Or if he simply needed someone to talk to? You're his girlfriend. He should be able to turn to you.

I think that's a bit harsh. She's said that she gave him the option of talking for a few minutes OR texting every day til he can get his computer fixed, and she's responded according to his long-term wishes, rather than his short-term. She may not have the financial resources to be able to talk on the phone. If it was serious, he could always have texted her letting her know that it was serious and that he NEEDED her to pick up. But he didn't. I think she did the right thing given the situation. There are more factors than just him wanting to talk to consider.

**elizabethjp2010** · November 20, 2011, 02:04 PM

when my SO and i havent seen each other in awhile we get short with each other. my feelings get hurt easily and he gets mad without any warning.

that could just be it, i mean yall havent talked as much so maybe he is just getting mad easier and your getting hurt easier. Maybe yall just need some time to talk or skype and see each other, hear each others voices without worrying and having to much on your mind, like money and what not.

good luck

**Josephine Falnor** · November 20, 2011, 02:09 PM

I can understand your situation with minutes. I have limited minutes on my phone, and on my old phone, I had even fewer minutes. My SO knows that, but there are still some times when she really needs to talk on the phone. I know that it's hard to pick up when your minutes are limited though.

Give your SO some time. Is there a possibility of him borrowing a friend's computer for a little bit to talk to you? Maybe on a weekend?

I wish you both the best, and I hope his computer gets fixed soon. Being out of contact is so stressful. Take care.

**Jgui** · November 20, 2011, 02:31 PM

Lets say he was having a bad day and wanted to talk with you to get some support,i can see why he was upset because you didnt pick up. Yes, he could have talk through text or facebook, but it doesnt offer the same comfort compared to voice talking. The meanings, feelings, and/or frustrutions doesnt come out the same when typing than talking. When we read a text we decode the message using our own tones and it may be different from what the sender is trying to achive. With that said, i think you could have made a bettere judgement and just answer the phone to see what he want/need. Even though it means you wont be able to talk to him again until your minutes refreshes, you still gave him the support he needed at that very moment. it might have been something that was really bothering him to call twice and even asking you to pick up when you declined the call the 1st time.

However, whats done cant be change so dont beat yourself up. You could have a very valid reason to why you didnt want to use the remaining 4 minutes on your phone. Dont beat yourself up by thinking youve done something wrong, you did what you felt was right at the moment. Hindsight is 20/20, instead of feeling bad think of a way to fix the problem. You mentioned he hasnt replay, give some time.

Feel better

**megfashion** · November 20, 2011, 03:23 PM

i think maybe with your SO, he may have had a difficult situation, but upon that he knew you two couldnt talk because of the computer being broken... he is probably just really frustrated...

id suggest trying to call.

i know its hard with money (the SO and i are exactly the same... going to be a cheap christmas) but sometimes you just have to delve into pockets for the one you love

hugs x

**Bethypoo** · November 20, 2011, 07:09 PM

Im sorry.

But I mean, a 4 minute call is better than nothing so at least he could tell you what was going on, because apparently something was. Have you still not heard from him? Maybe you could write him and email or PM on Facebook. Apologize and then let him know that you were worried about the cost but now you are worried about him and ask what is going on.

I mean, it is done, so I think that he will get over it, but I wouldn't be happy if my boyfriend did that. Especially when it was obvious something was up. Just apologize, but don't hate yourself over it.

**Zapookie** · November 20, 2011, 09:33 PM

hi.. i'm not sure if this was mentioned before so i'm sorry if i am repeating anyone else that has posted in your other thread, but how come you need to have minutes in order to answer a call? i've heard of limited call minutes in making phone calls, but i've never heard of not being able to answer a call from someone else. i thought that it was universally free to answer phone calls (unless you count 1800-REVERSE).

but anyway, I think you should give him some time, and say sorry to him and that it was a misunderstanding. I think i'm sure you didn't mean it to seem like you didn't want to talk, but that you thought you had both agreed on texting being the main form of communication. i think maybe in your texts you should say things clearly just so you both know where you stand.

**BlueCat** · November 20, 2011, 10:43 PM

I personally think you should have answered the call. If he was so persistant in asking you to answer when he knows about the limit you both have, it must have been important. Even if I'm angry at my SO for something or can't really afford to call him, I never so no. It makes me feel awful to. I would prefer to spend all my credit on calling him, than not no about something that's important to him.

Perhaps simply apologise for not answering his call and then let him know that anytime he wants to talk you are more than happy to. That way you don't push him into it and he knows that you're there for him if he wants to try calling again.

Originally posted by Zapookie View Post

hi.. i'm not sure if this was mentioned before so i'm sorry if i am repeating anyone else that has posted in your other thread, but how come you need to have minutes in order to answer a call? i've heard of limited call minutes in making phone calls, but i've never heard of not being able to answer a call from someone else. i thought that it was universally free to answer phone calls (unless you count 1800-REVERSE).

It's pretty common in the U.S, if my b/f (from the US) and I are going to call each other, I always get him to call me so that it only charges one of us. I have noticed however, that if I have absolutely no credit, calls don't seem to go through to my phone, but I don't get charged for receiving calls.

**yayagrl** · November 21, 2011, 12:52 AM

I believe I remember from her other posts that she has a prepaid phone? Where she has to physically buy the card with minutes and then load it on her phone. Correct me if I'm wrong OP. She has posted before in a different post about her lack of minutes. I don't believe it's a matter of just waiting until a new month for more minutes as I don't think she'd be as panicked about answering if that were so. I think it's more a if her minutes run out it's up in the air when she'll be able to buy them again. To the OP, give him some time hun. You are both frustrated in this situation. You both want to talk to each other, but have many obstacles in the way. Text him saying that you are sorry, but he should understand if you explained the situation to him that you couldn't answer and he should know exactly why. In frustrating situations you don't think logically though. Mostly you know you're frustrated and you want to do something about it. Good luck

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don't think he knows how bad he hurt me...

don't think he knows how bad he hurt me...

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