The Feeling After They Leave

[efish1042]

Cry... like most people here. I cry my eyes out. I try to wait until he is gone because I know he hates seeing me upset. That first day he is gone? I am either crying or sleeping or walking around like a zombie and crying some more. I never cry much when people are around tho because I hate the "What's wrong?" or if its friends or family, the looks of pity and "It'll be ok." After that first day, I don't cry very much. I am a bit of a zombie for about a week tho and I'm really sensitive (or entirely apathetic, it depends). I talk to him and curl up with his shirt (I make him wear it when we visit so it's like my crack when we separate).
I always find it a lot easier when I know when I'll see him again. The indefinite thing makes it so much worse. I may not even cry if I know when I'll see him again because I have something to definitely look forward to. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen very often. I like to plan things months in advance, but he can't think past next week so it makes it harder to know when I'll see him.
There you have it. I turn into a big crying baby with a security blanket. :'/

[Lumos]

Whether he leaves or I do, I spend a whole lot of time crying. I've cried the entire 2,280 mile journey home. It's really quite embarrassing

[Sunbeam]

Whether he leaves or I do, I spend a whole lot of time crying. I've cried the entire 2,280 mile journey home. It's really quite embarrassing

I didn't find it too embarrassing, but I did get hugs from random people on the plane, when they asked me what was wrong lol.

[Amelia]

i hate the feeling of leaving because i am always the one leaving and the only thing i can do is cry, the last time i left him what made it worse was after we had said goodbye and i was about to board the plane he came back, it was like something from the movies. The only way to get over the initial sadness is by crying but sometimes i go walking or just sit on the swings and know that i will see him soon

[Petals]

I cry at the airport and on my way home. However, once I'm home, the high of just seeing him and knowing he was in my bed keeps me in high spirits. I get really depressed when it gets closer to a visit, because it's so close yet so far away lol. I'm weird I guess!

[Jtakh11]

OMG im scared now im visting in march and im so scared about how im going to feel when i leave :-( i dont want to leave already :-(

[squirrelz15]

This was our first visit since we became a couple, but I've been heartbroken when he's left even as just a friend, so I know this isn't going to be remotely easy. I'm also really disappointed because I was supposed to get to see him one more time before he left, but he carpooled here with friends from school, so now he's leaving today instead of tomorrow and I'm stuck working, so I won't get to see him now for a while. I'm thankful his Christmas break is only a few weeks away and then I can see him again. After that is what makes me nervous because the only big break is spring break which is quite a few months away. I just try not to think about it, try to stay busy. Overtime is approved this week and I'm planning on taking it today if I can to help with the loneliness of him being far away again.

[loveknowsnodistance27]

Anthony flew back to school last night. ='[ So far, I'm holding up surprisingly well. I had a few meltdowns right after he left, one of which was at his house when I stopped by to let his mom know he got to the airport safely. But, I was able to only cry a little bit in front of him. He told me to be strong, which I replied "I'll try." He told me "You can do this. You are so strong, and you've gotten so much stronger each time. I've noticed. You can do it." I promised him I'd be strong, and I've only cried a few times today for quick little moments. He also texted me last night when I told him it'd hit me that he wasn't coming home with me: "*hugs* Be strong, Jen, I know you can." Those words helped me a lot.

Normally, I'm not this strong. I generally cry for a few days nonstop, I don't leave my house, I barely talk to anyone. I just shut down, barely eating anything. It's bad...but I think I'm getting stronger each time, and despite it getting tougher every time to see him leave or to leave him, I can handle it better each time. We've now said goodbye 8 times.