Anyone else feel like this?

[rubydissolution]

So, i recently watched the movie "Like Crazy". There is a scene in the movie where the male character is visiting the female character in the UK and they are in the park and he says, "I don't feel like i'm part of your life, I feel like i'm on holiday."

I don't think a line has ever hit me so hard then that one. I realized ever since my SO went back home I've felt like this. I'm not particularly sure if that's bc i WAS his life for 3 months and now i'm not or if its his lack of telling me about his life since he got home. Either way, since yesterday was Thanksgiving, a major holiday I don't think i've felt it quite so strongly. I really don't feel like i'm part of his life, i'm not even on the radar for holidays. And it just sucks that I feel like this. The first text i sent him this morning was "Happy Thanksgiving! today, i'm ever so thankful that i have you and your love. I know your probably tired from yesterday but i know you can get through this in one piece bc ur amazing like that. I love you ttyl. xoxo"

I know he had to work all day today 9-6 (12-9 est) So i didn't really expect any sort of answer until around 9. I guess it bothers me that i can send something like that to him and when he gets out of work i don't even get a hello. In fact i haven't even heard from him now at 1am est. I know he's probably tired and eating his Thanksgiving with his family and best friend but I kinda just wanted a happy thanksgiving from him...o wellz.

So, does anyone else feel like this? That they just don't feel like they are part of their SOs life? Also any words of wisdom would be awesome. =3 Hope everyone had a Happy Turkey Day for those who celebrated.

[annb8888]

OMG girl, I watched that movie and I got "disturbed." Mainly because I get disturbed when I see LDRs that end up in turmoil and even though they got together in the end, (the shower scene) it was never the same & it looked like they both have become tired and fallen out of love - so I kinda got scared.

But back to your question about "being a holiday" I don't think your SO forgot to text you back intentionally, there are really some people who constantly need to be "pushed" like my SO - once he gets into a task or a project in school, he forgets everything else around him. I didn't understand this at first and I get really irritated & I resort to quarreling with him. But now I understand that's the way he is. What I do is just text him like 2 times more if he doesn't respond. But recently he has changed a bit & he answers me with "in a meeting, I'll txt you later" whenever he's busy. I think you have to talk this over to your SO but be careful, some guys tend to think that asking them to text back when you text is demanding (and believe me, my SO is the king of exaggeration).

So how I say it is like "I'm not asking for more time or to disturb you but please just let me know you got my text then we can talk in a time when both of us are available." I think it's not too much to ask since LDR needs constant communication. And don't forget to be calm and put on your cutest face

[kt08]

I feel exactly like this! I know my SO really loves and cares about me, but he isn't as good at communication, and it's really hard for me not to take it personally sometimes. I want to be a part of his everyday life, but this almost ruined our relationship. We have about 6 months left until we are together for good, and, although hard, I've had to realize that the only way it's going to last is if I can stop taking his lack of communication so personally and stop being so demanding. If it were up to me, we would talk every night, but my SO is fine with once a week, so we've met in the middle and talk 2-3 times a week. It's hard, but I think the most important thing is how your SO treats you when you guys are together. My SO treats me like the center of his universe, and I can't wait until the day we can be together for good, so I'm willing to go through some of the disappointment I feel when he doesn't respond/call/text now.

[uniquefem]

I feel exactly like this! I know my SO really loves and cares about me, but he isn't as good at communication, and it's really hard for me not to take it personally sometimes. I want to be a part of his everyday life, but this almost ruined our relationship. We have about 6 months left until we are together for good, and, although hard, I've had to realize that the only way it's going to last is if I can stop taking his lack of communication so personally and stop being so demanding. If it were up to me, we would talk every night, but my SO is fine with once a week, so we've met in the middle and talk 2-3 times a week. It's hard, but I think the most important thing is how your SO treats you when you guys are together. My SO treats me like the center of his universe, and I can't wait until the day we can be together for good, so I'm willing to go through some of the disappointment I feel when he doesn't respond/call/text now.

I am on the same page with this.

My SO sometimes made changes on his life that he never ask me, or tell me before doing it. I post it here and everyone giving me advise to talk with him about it, i did.

But its just him, very hard to communicate with him, and he seemed not miss me at all.. while in here i was like trying to keep my self busy so my mind wont wondering and turn in to a crazy girl..worrying things thats not even happened yet (future etc).

I stop demand him to be more communicative-because i think that i could irritate him if i ask more.. he changed already he told me lots of things about his plans etc.

He is very warm person in real, its just he can not say things.. he said when he talk to me he will say it wrong way hahaha... but i know he love me very much.. when i am with him, he will make sure i am all right and safe warm and comfort i think thats all matters....

Sometimes i feel sad when he did a big thing like moving apartment or quitting his job without telling me (no not happening to me) because that will relate to our relationship and future at the end. But for sure i know in real i am matters for him... i ask this directly to him when i visit him.. and when he call me few weeks ago.

Maybe you need to ask.. even it might be silly... just ask if you're part of his future too? (its a scary question.. but important) because if you do then you need him to involve you more on his future plan...

[ChibiFelicia]

I kinda feel the same sometimes. For example with thanksgiving. We dont celebrate that here in the UK but my mans american. He was with his best friend and then going to visit his family (the friends) then his own family (they're like brothers been friends for nearly 2 decades). Last year i felt weird because i wanted to share it with him, it's obviously not my custom but because we are gonna have a future together this year i made a preemtive strike! lol I called my man in the morning and i told him to skype his best friend (they were at my mans house but hehhee) and i was like "happy thanksgiving! what are you thankful for?" and they both laughed at me! lol. My man answered and was like "im thnakful for having such a wonderful girlfriend" and his friend didnt answer (he doesnt talk much but is a nice guy). Anyway he knows im trying so they both think im kinda sweet i guess.
i then called my mans family and wished them a happy thanksgiving. and apologised that i couldnt be there. I felt that this year was better. If i think too much about it i feel im trying a lil too hard. But meh. I guess when im at his, his friends and their families are so warm and welcoming and think of me etc that i still wanna be a part of that. - i was told by his best friend that ppl dont actually wish ppl a happy thanksgiving (not them guys anyway lol)

[kt08]

I am on the same page with this.

My SO sometimes made changes on his life that he never ask me, or tell me before doing it. I post it here and everyone giving me advise to talk with him about it, i did.

But its just him, very hard to communicate with him, and he seemed not miss me at all.. while in here i was like trying to keep my self busy so my mind wont wondering and turn in to a crazy girl..worrying things thats not even happened yet (future etc).

I stop demand him to be more communicative-because i think that i could irritate him if i ask more.. he changed already he told me lots of things about his plans etc.

He is very warm person in real, its just he can not say things.. he said when he talk to me he will say it wrong way hahaha... but i know he love me very much.. when i am with him, he will make sure i am all right and safe warm and comfort i think thats all matters....

Sometimes i feel sad when he did a big thing like moving apartment or quitting his job without telling me (no not happening to me) because that will relate to our relationship and future at the end. But for sure i know in real i am matters for him... i ask this directly to him when i visit him.. and when he call me few weeks ago.

Maybe you need to ask.. even it might be silly... just ask if you're part of his future too? (its a scary question.. but important) because if you do then you need him to involve you more on his future plan...

I'm glad I can finally relate to someone! I know exactly what you me. It seems like a lot of guys have a personality that make it hard to connect long distance. It's hard not to take it personally, but they're just not able to. I have had a talk with him, and he says he wants to live together when we graduate, and that I'm the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with. I know he wouldn't say that unless his feelings were strong, so even though a lot of the time his problems communicating make it seem like he doesn't care, I just need to remind myself that he does...

I need to do a better job at staying busy. I usually plan my day around when we can talk, but I think I will start planning around my own schedule (school, activities, friends, etc.) and see how that goes.

[rubydissolution]

Thanks guys, its good to know i'm not the only one who thinks like this. Turns out in this case he did send me a response via text that morning but i never got it...lol. He read it to me when i talked to him last night. I don't really fuss over texts as much as i did when he first went home because he has gotten so much better at sending the occasional text. I think i may just be a textaholic and i just constantly need to be texting or get a text from someone...lol.

[Haley53]

This is odd.

I realise that this isn't quite following the original topic, but it answers the thread, simply in a different way. I did find that to be a striking line, but not for the fact it resonated with me. Sure, when I'm with him, I am reminded that it's merely a holiday, and yes, I do have to spend holidays alone and yes, we're currrently 5000 miles apart, but we're still a part of one another's lives. We still find the time to talk to one another, to fill one another in, to see how even the most mundane day went. We celebrate what holidays "together" that we can in what ways that we can. And I remember thinking how fortunate I am compared to those in the movie because I don't feel that way, and because we make do with what we can.

That's one thing I didn't see them doing. It was like they dropped off the face of the earth as soon as they went back to their respective countries, so of course it felt like a holiday. I simply find it odd that I'm the only one who didn't really share the film's perspective on it.

[Sunbeam]

That's one thing I didn't see them doing. It was like they dropped off the face of the earth as soon as they went back to their respective countries, so of course it felt like a holiday. I simply find it odd that I'm the only one who didn't really share the film's perspective on it.

No, I see it like that.
When I first met my SO, yes, it felt like being on holiday... because we were. But I feel like I'm just as much a part of his life as he is mine. We spend Christmas "together" aka on Skype. He opened his birthday present from me on skype. We talk about major life decisions, and each others families and yeah... He's a part of my life. I'm a part of his. We just can't always be physical about it.
And due to the time difference, sometimes we have to make important snap decisions without the other, but even that is rare.

[Lumos]

I simply find it odd that I'm the only one who didn't really share the film's perspective on it.

I feel the same way. Honestly, I talk to my boyfriend more when we're apart than I did in the 4 months we spent doing an internship together in Florida. Our work schedules were so different then that I'd wake up when he got home at 1 or 2 in the morning to eat dinner with him and go back to sleep because I had work early in the morning, and that was pretty much the only time I saw him all day.

When I visited over the summer, he was taking summer classes, so I had to go to school with him. I know his commute, his campus, and his routine. We're good at keeping in touch throughout the day, so I basically know where he is all the time (and I've been to the places too, so I can picture them in my head ).