Checking Phone

[Amber]

How many times do you check your phone during the day to see if your SO has texted, called, left a voice mail?

I have found myself checking my phone an awful lot lately. He has a friend visiting him. I know they are spending time together, but he has not done anything for the last 2 days to contact me. I called him, he never answered. I don't want to be the crazy girlfriend that calls and calls when he is hanging out with his friends. I know they need time to hang out, but I'm having a horrible time with this since we talked about our communicating skills and how they need to improve since we are long distance. I just feel like I'm missing out on his life even more when he doesn't share. I would share my experiences with him! I can't put in all the effort and I feel I'm the one doing it.

What gets me is that I check my phone the entire time, and then the minute his friends leave...he texts me and talks baby this and baby that to me. Like I'm the dish on the side that suddenly I'm important again. Yet...he doesn't share one thing that they did during the weekend. Just that they had fun.

I know I'm being a little obsessive checking my phone all day, but I can't help myself. I love hearing from him. A simple "I love you" would do.

Does this happen to anyone?

Please share your experiences and then also comment about mine and what you would do in this situation. I would love to hear your stories and I would also love to get some advice. Its really getting to me now.

[rubydissolution]

This is how i solved this problem for me. Leave your phone at home as often as possible. It breaks that urge to check ur phone every 10 minutes to see if he's sent you a text. At first, especially in this technological age leaving ur cell phone at home sounds like a terrible idea but i guarantee if you do it for like 10-15 minutes at a time, that anxiety will dissipate. When me and my SO took our "break" I found myself still checking my phone hoping he would break the silence n text me. I accidentily left my phone at home when i went to the mall. I panicked at first but, after about 10 minutes i felt this wave of relief. Its like texting while driving, out of sight out of mind.

[Jgui]

i have never experience what you're going through before so i wouldnt have much advice to give you.

i think everyone is different when it comes to how much communication they need when their SO is hanging out with friends. I personally don't require my SO to text or call me when he is out doing his thing. I give him his space and personal time and know that once he's home and alone he'll contact me, and i am totally fine with that.

i was a little big bugged at the beginning of our relationship because he wouldn't text me for a day and it would seem normal to him. We talked about this and i understand why he does that so i'm okay with it now.

if it's really bothering you then i would talk to him about it and see what he has to say. i personally don't like to be a nag so if i am aware of why he hasn't communicate then i will do other things to keep myself busy while he is out having fun.

[Haley53]

I agree with rubydissolution.

If he's out with friends, then he's out with friends. The point of hanging out with friends is, well, to "hang out," and it would be considered rude to continuously text your partner or exclude your friends because you're hanging out with your partner while out with them. Though if they're spending the night I feel he could take some time to send you a little goodnight text, if they're out during the day, then I don't feel he needs to be updating you. Let him have fun. Talk to him about it when he gets back. Why not try asking him what they did, where they went? If you ask him how it went, of course he can say "we had fun," but if you ask him specific questions like "so what'd you guys get up to today?", then it may encourage him to talk about it a little more.

I would encourage you to also get out and about while he's out with friends. Get your mind off it. Let him do his thing and you do yours. Leave your phone turned off and at home. It gets easier to leave it once you sever the dependence on it, lol. :P

[Jkrose76]

I have to admit I have been alittle obsessive myself lately since we have been getting closer and I have had to walk away from my phone for periods of time when I know he is busy because I'll just sit there and stare at it..lol. I am luck though..my SO texts me alot...more than I expect sometimes... He's so sweet sometimes..I'll get these messages randomly..."hey Miss you", Or "Thinking of you"....I'm getting spoiled lol

Jennifer

[Kerry]

I check it a lot less than I used too! I used to check it probably 50 times a day!

[Sunbeam]

I've made it a habit to check my phone less by turning it off during class, sorority meetings, at night, etc.
But I used to check it almost every 5 minutes.