Religion differences

[rubydissolution]

With Christmas coming up I've been thinking a lot about the differences between my religion and my SOs. I'm Christian, i was raised christian so of course i celebrate all those holidays, Christmas, Easter etc. My SO is pagan, he doesn't celebrate any of this and its just started to bug me lately. Its not a huge deal, he celebrates winter solstice so we can have a Christmasesc celebration. I had mentioned i had to go Christmas shopping for him and he reminded me that he doesn't celebrate Christmas...I'm aware of it. It bothers me that he needs to remind me constantly. We sent each other Christmas/winter solstice presents last year i just thought we were gonna do it again. I still plan to send him something small and unchristmas related but it was weird he didn't want me to send him anything.

I had mentioned also that i should come visit for another holiday so i can attempt to get to know and make peace with his family and I was at a loss bc he doesn't celebrate Easter. He recommended his birthday...ya tha worked out so well last year (I met his mom, it was a mess).

So, I was just wondering if anyone else has this sorta issue with their SO.

[ushiwakafox]

I can't say I personally deal with such a difference in religious beliefs with my SO, but we do have different traditions. We are all raised differently, and we all have to learn how to work with and around each other's differences. Maybe instead of sending each other Christmas/Solstice gifts, send each other New Years gifts. Make your own traditions to counteract with the ones that you don't/can't celebrate together.
I'm assuming you were both aware of each other's religious differences before you two decided to begin your relationship. I am Protestant and I have a hard enough time dealing with my Catholic SO sometimes, just make sure you are both taking these issues seriously, because they will not just go away if they are not dealt with as they arise, especially religious differences.
Good luck! Merry Christmas

[Zephii]

I'm in your SOs position. I'm pagan, and if I never had to celebrate Christmas again, I'd be so very happy haha. But, Christmas is very big for my SOs family, and it isn't an option for me to opt out of that. He wants his children to be able to celebrate Christmas as a cultural holiday. But the traditions for yule/winter solstice are pretty much exactly the same as for Christmas as the holidays have the same origin. Even the myths associated with the solstice are similar to Jesus's story. I'm guessing he's a new pagan. Generally we're all up in arms about Christian domination for the first few years of being pagan and then we grow out of it Theres a couple of really good books on pagan holidays. I don't know what kind of pagan he is, but likely something in these books will apply to him:
Summer holidays
Winter holidays

Assuming he belongs to one of the larger pagan groups, there are in fact a lot of holidays you could choose from to go visit (many pagans celebrate 8 holy days a year, and some also celebrate every full moon. We like to party, what can I say?).

There's a lot of similarities between pagan and christian holidays. I'm sure you's can meet half way if you both want to

[floridaellen]

I do not have this issue with my SO. We're both Catholic, just out of pure coincidence, but I don't think I could date anyone seriously who was not Christian of some sort.

Have you tried creating your own traditions?

[Lizzie2579]

I have massive religious differences with my boyfriend, I am basically atheist but i was raised a christian and i try to believe in god but find it hard. My boyfriend is a muslim and obviously believes in god! At first I found it really hard, and sometimes i still do now, but i think you just have to accept and respect each others differences and see it as a way to learn about different ways of life. It can be annoying, my boyfriend doesn't celebrate Christmas at all, he has no concept of it and I LOVE it, even though I'm not religious!
I think its unnecessary for him to always remind you of the differences and if you want to buy him a present then just do it, I'm buying my boyfriend a present even though he's muslim!!
Don't worry though, you are not alone!

[rubydissolution]

[QUOTE=Zephii;165884 Theres a couple of really good books on pagan holidays. I don't know what kind of pagan he is, but likely something in these books will apply to him:
[URL="https://www.amazon.com/Celebrating-Seasons-Life-Beltane-Mabon/dp/1564147320/ref=pd_ys_qtk_wl_t?ie=UTF8&coliid=I2YG6UKO30JJN5&c olid=23GNPZOCVU3N7&pf_rd_p=1286263542&pf_rd_s=cent er-4&pf_rd_t=1501&pf_rd_i=home&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER& pf_rd_r=0B1101NVMJH332M0QCY8"]Summer holidays[/URL]
Winter holidays


Thanks, I was thinking about looking into a couple books on the subject. I don't particularly know too too much about the Pagan belief system...ya kno Christians "Pagans are evil". Though technically any outside religion is bad in their belief. My minor in College was Evolutionary Studies....studying that topic kinda made me rethink my belief system a little. I even took a class on the Muslim side of the crusades.

---------- Post added at 06:30 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:29 PM ----------

lol that quote reply didn't turn out as well as i'd hoped....=P

[HollzHeartsChris]

My SO is pagan but I'm strictly atheist. Although I was born into a Christian family and I was baptized at birth as a Christian, I've never followed it. My SO follows the rule of three and his paganism fascinates me =) I've never really known any Pagans and I've only known one Wiccan but I find it very interesting =) I don't really know that much about it, he doesn't talk about it much, but I'll be sure to ask more when I next speak to him

I'd just meet him somewhere in between =) Best thing! Have a wonderful Christmas.

[Zephii]

Lol, still worked
Least you're open minded about it all

[kiara_silver]

Im Christian, was raised this way and fully believe it. But my SO has no religion or faith of any sort. But we don't clash, he supports me and doesn't try to change me, or question me or puts his doubts in my head. And has even gone to church with me (although wasn't my church choice) I believe this is the way, but i won't force it on him or anyone. Im always willing to talk or discuss it with him if he wants, but its his choice. And we've discussed and he wouldn't stand in my way when sharing my faith with our children, which is good, because this would have been a hard issue. So we work good despite our different views.

[BlueCat]

I'm Lutheran, he's Catholic. Not much to argue about really :P I know I'm not going to get married in a catholic church but I think we'd both be pretty happy with a garden wedding anyway.

Otherwise, in terms of culture, I do find Halloween and Thanksgiving interesting, one is an excuse to dress up and eat candy, the other is an excuse to eat a whole lot of food! :P

[alw83]

My SO and I don't really differ in our beliefs. We are both Chistians. Though we were raised in different denominations we have both sort of grow up and asked our questions and found the doctrine we believe is most accurate and we pretty much feel the same about most aspects. This is funny because all this happened about a year or two before we met.

[lucybelle]

No religious differences for us. When I was younger I thought I would be cool with it, but I realized I'm not. I think there's plenty of common ground to be found between the two practices. Have him read up on your believes and you read up on his. He should compromise just as much as you do with celebrations and whatnots. Good luck!

[annb8888]

We're both Catholics but even though we are, we were raised differently and there are some traditions/rituals that I don't really follow while he follows it completely. I have some issues with some of the Catholic laws that I find rather too outdated due to our changing times & that contradicts some of the things they're even teaching. So yes, I am a Catholic but I can say, I'm a Catholic "with issues" LOL. Him, on the other hand, follows everything religiously and sometimes we clash because I express my view on one teaching but we don't really fight about it.

Even with same religions, there are still conflicts, but if you love each other, religion shouldn't be a factor. Love surpasses everything, right? Besides that, religion is a very touchy subject, no one really wins in a religion battle.

[folclor]

I know how you feel to a point. I was raised CHristian, am still Christian. My boyfriend wasn't raised with a religion, his beliefs go as far as, "There is a God." So it's difficult. This year he'll be coming with me to meet my family and will, therefore, end up going to church and such with us. I am interested in seeing how he handles it.

[squirrelz15]

I don't have this issue. I'm agnostic, he's atheist, we both grew up in strictly Christian homes. I did date someone who was catholic as an agnostic, and it did cause some issues, but mostly because I don't look to God for all the answers and he wanted to. We weren't together that long though, so holidays never really became an issue, and I'm still willing to celebrate them even if I don't believe in the meaning behind them because all of my family still does. Sorry, that isn't much help. All you can really do is discuss the differences and then decide if they are something you can live with.