Oh, college..

[Courtney:)]

My boyfriend is in college currently and I'm going to be a senior this fall. I've been college searching for the longest time (because I absolutely hate high school) and I decided on my perfect fit. It needs to be good for my major, it has to be huge and have a lot of people, it needs to be far from home, have a warmer climate, and an amazing dance team.

Well as you can probably all guess - my boyfriend's college is the perfect fit. And I mean perfect. I've done a ton of research on his school and I believe it would be amazing to go to. I have other colleges in mind, of course. Other ones in his state and ones down in Florida, but his school is my first pick.

But I read all of these threads or comments on these threads about how people regret going to their SO's college.

I didn't pick the college because of him. Yes he led me to looking into the college, but again it fits all of my criteria.

And I've thought of back up plans also. If we were to break up, it's a big enough school that we probably wouldn't run into each other unless we planned to.

We've had countless discussions about this. I don't want to feel like I'm taking him away from his studies or his friends. Especially because we would want to spend a lot of time together. But...the school looks amazing.

Any feedback?

[Dziubka]

I think that even if his college wasn't your first pick, being close to your SO is a (one) totally valid factor to consider when choosing your college/university.

I chose my unversity because it was the closest to my then-boyfriend, that offered my major-minor combination and that I didn't have to pay tuitions at. Even though we broke up during my third semester (he had transferred to my university when I started my 2nd semester), I haven't regretted it for one second.

The most important thing is to do it, because you want to go to that university and consider him being there an added bonus. If you go there because of him and compromise on your college criteria, that's probably a pretty sure way into resentment and unhappiness.

[loveknowsnodistance27]

This is a tough one, but I've been there, done that. I had a plan I thought was foolproof. I was going to do my graduate school at my boyfriend's college starting in the fall of 2013. I was saving money so I could rent an apartment up there and I was going to convince him to move in with me. But, due to unfortunate circumstances, my boyfriend got academically suspended from the school for a year and may look into transferring to a local school. That would have defeated the purpose of me going there. He told me I would have hated it up there anyway because I wouldn't have known anyone and the weather is everything I can't stand...rain, snow, clouds and cold all the time. Yuck. Even if he does go back to his current school, I will not be going with him. I decided to go to a local program, which costs half the amount of money that his school does. It'll suck if we have to do LD for another few years, but it is worth it for both of us in the long run.

[kittyo9]

You've already thought plenty ahead and I think you've done it quite logically. You've selected multiple schools, chosen based on what's best for YOU, and made back-up plans for those "just-in-case" moments. I think you should apply to all your selected schools and see where the wind takes you. I don't know if you've visited the schools yet, but put it on your to-do list. You will find that sometimes you just can't see yourself on a particular campus. I visited 13 schools when I was looking at universities and ended up only applying to 5 (would have been 4 but my mom insisted on a fifth), but I couldn't be happier with my final choice.

[Courtney:)]

Yeah. I mean, we wouldn't break up if I ended up going to a different school. It would be upsetting but it is what it is. I sent my ACT scores to his school, and I've already been getting emails about scholarships they are willing to give to me.

[Haley53]

I think the regret comes in when your SO is the sole reason you attend that school (as in, it may have a good program for what you're pursuing but it's not your ideal program, school, or campus), not when your SO is a factor. My opinion is that so long as it's a school you wouldn't mind going to if the both of you broke up, or if it's a school you might of considered had he never been a part of your life, then it's unlikely a school you end up regretting going to simply because your SO also happens to be a part of it.

[floridaellen]

I think the regret comes in when your SO is the sole reason you attend that school (as in, it may have a good program for what you're pursuing but it's not your ideal program, school, or campus), not when your SO is a factor. My opinion is that so long as it's a school you wouldn't mind going to if the both of you broke up, or if it's a school you might of considered had he never been a part of your life, then it's unlikely a school you end up regretting going to simply because your SO also happens to be a part of it.

I just just about to write this but Eclaire bet me to it!

[Kristin91]

I'm transferring to my SO's college this fall. And like you, I didn't pick it because my SO goes there. I think as long as you're comfortable going to that school with or without your SO then you're fine. And ignore all the people that say you only like it because your boyfriend goes there, they don't know what they're talking about!

[Courtney:)]

Thanks for all the feedback everyone, I appreciate it