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I just want to go to his college and punch it in the FACE! (If colleges had faces.)

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    #1

    I just want to go to his college and punch it in the FACE! (If colleges had faces.)

    Ever have one of those days, where you're just...

    "Is this really going to work? Do I always have to be the one trying to come up with conversation? Why doesn't it flow like it used to? Did it EVER flow? How can I be so in love with someone, and still feel these nagging feelings? Oh god, make it go away..."

    I give and give and give and give. And don't get me wrong! He gives, too. a lot. But right now nothing but his college projects and deadlines and school school school fills his head! He comes home from school, and then he does MORE school. Or he goes to work...and he's working on SCHOOL! He's about to finish his last semester. After that...well, a little school. And then it gets WORSE and his schedule will get WORSE. He's always told me that it wouldn't be as easy as I thought it would be, but this is grueling. I just want it to stop, to end, for five minutes! I just want to be his whole focus, and his whole concern, be shown a helping dose of affection, just for a little bit...I want my thoughts to be interesting and important to him. I want to feel heard. And I don't want to tell him all this, (I'll end up telling him all this. He's psychic, and he'll figure out I'm upset in a matter of seconds. He already would have, if it it wasn't for damn SCHOOL!) because there's not a single thing he can do about it. He's got to do all this, to stay in the country. And the workaholic-perfectionist inside of him must EXCEL.

    /Rant over.
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    #2
    Maybe the two of you can come to an agreement? Obviously school is important, especially since you said
    He's got to do all this, to stay in the country.
    However, there's no reason for you to feel like you're not getting enough affection. Just talk to him, but make sure you don't point fingers and blame his school on this. I don't know if you go to college, but I know I'm up to my ears in work during the week, and it doesn't get much better on the weekends...


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      #3
      Guys can be crazy with their work. It's a great thing he puts in so much effort but I can totally understand your frustration. I would also suggest to make a compromise. Do you have a date night? If not, that would be a nice thing to do. One night a week that belongs just to the two of you it makes up for the limited time you might have to talk otherwise. At least it does for me to a certain extent.
      Just make sure you don't draw back and 'punish' him for something he doesn't know he's doing or can't change. You have the right for affection though so talk to him about it. Communication is the key!

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        #4
        Me and my SO used to work together before he left and still work in the same field so although its different I understand the potential issue of work taking over your relationship. Personally to stop this I feel it has to be a decision both of you take. If he's desperate to talk about work and you don't want to then thats a problem. We deal with it by knowing that unless there's a major problem at work then work is just a quick how's it going question. We agree to both actively try not too talk about it, which is tough as its easy default material. Maybe you could talk to your bf about similar, let him talk to you about school to clear it from his brain but make it clear that that's not what either of you want to concentrate on, maybe has some ideas if other things ready. I.e how's school going.... Blah ect blah.... I saw this cool game, film, show. Want to watch? Just stuff to keep you close as a couple. A bit of de stressing might even help his school work!

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          #5
          In my relationship I'm your SO. I get very work centered and seemingly forget about my SO. For me that is not the case. I see school and all the work involved as a stepping stone to the rest of our lives together. But I don't forget about him I just get work focused because that's temporary and very limited compared to a future with my SO.
          ". . . We obviously have to come to accept it, but that doesn't stop it from gnawing at us day by day.
          The best we can do is enjoy our time together, anticipate our reunions, and remain passionate and loyal through distance." ~Mike <3



          ~*~11.21.2010~*~

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            #6
            Thanks for the response, guys. I've just been in a mood this week...we talked about it, and things are definitely better now. It's not so much that he talks about it all the time- he's just thinking about it all the time. I think he's afraid to bore me with the technical details. I've really been stressing to him that it's okay if I don't understand, I still want to hear about what's occupying 90% of his life, whether or not it's complicated or dull.I actually really like it when he talks about his projects, and I try to understand them. I was raised by a technical guy, and I'm fairly quick when it comes to things of that nature.

            lol, mainly this was just a vent, and I appreciate the support.

            Originally posted by 11MikesGirl21 View Post
            In my relationship I'm your SO. I get very work centered and seemingly forget about my SO. For me that is not the case. I see school and all the work involved as a stepping stone to the rest of our lives together. But I don't forget about him I just get work focused because that's temporary and very limited compared to a future with my SO.
            Thank you so much for this. And you know what? That totally is him. He's doing this for us, and so he doesn't, you know, get kicked out of the country. That would totally suck. I really appreciate your response.

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