Hello, the name is Kelly and I found this site looking for answers to my questions. Like all of you, I'm in a long distance relationship and I am going through rough times. So I need advice. This is my first long- distance relationship and I'm conflicted with emotions, common sense and bias opinions.
Below you will read my story and I hope you will leave your thoughts. The best advice one could ever receive is from a complete stranger. Or so I like to believe.
Anyways, thanks for your time! <3
I met my boyfriend, Adam, online through a specific forum. At first we were just friends, and quickly developed into feelings. During that time I had a boyfriend so I avoided getting into a relationship with him and kept it as friendly as possible. He is from Chicago and I'm from Miami. So we were pretty far away from each other and I never thought anything would come of it.
He got accepted to a university her in Florida, over 4 hours away from me and I thought that was pretty cool. But, I refused to actually meet him because I was still with my boyfriend at the time. Crap happened and a few months later me and my boyfriend broke up. So, Adam and I started a relationship.
Everything was going great. We met up in Disney, and had a great time. We both agree that's the happiest moment in our lives and we sometimes talk about it when we are on the phone. But, after the trip I found out he had a moment with a girl at his school. I found out through his texts. I know, I know, I shouldn't have been doing that but I was playing a game on his phone and didn't think much about it. Though, the last message sent/received was over 2 months old, it still hurt me. I confronted him and things haven't been the same.
I wanted to end it but he begged me to stay and to give him another chance, I did. I remembered how happy we were and how good of a guy he is. (He once drove down to bring me some ice cream during that icky time of the month) Months have passed by, and I get really annoyed. I hate him hanging out with his female friends, even though his subject of study and class are 85% females. I sometimes accuse him of cheating just because he is too tired to talk to me or he doesn't show his feelings. And he takes it. Until recently, all he said was “I'm sorry. I'm not cheating on you.” and always tried to prove that he was faithful.
He went back up during the holidays to spend it with his family. Only a day there, and I get a call saying he wanted to break up. He said, the fights were too much and it was too stressful. I begged him for another chance, and he stated he loved me but he needs to concentrate on his school. He then started saying that our relationship will never go anywhere like this, that we are always going to be a long distance relationship and he can't handle that anymore. We spent two days discussing it. I promised I was going to be less stressful and even promised not to bring up his mistakes anymore, something he hated and the main reason why he thought the relationship was too much. He was reluctant, very reluctant. He told me he would give us a second chance, then took it back a couple hours later because he felt “conflicted”. So we spoke again and he told me last night that “Okay we will give it another chance.”
What scares me, is that what if he is just giving me a second chance because of pity? Because he heard me cry and practically beg him for one. I really want to make this work and I am also conflicted because this was such a surprise. Seriously, like Wednesday we were talking about me driving up to see him next week and Friday night he ended it. Now, Sunday morning and he is willing to give it another chance. AH! I don't want to stress him out. But, I don't want to feel like our relationship is forced due to some tears. I don't know what to do or how to react anymore. Please, I need your advice.
Below you will read my story and I hope you will leave your thoughts. The best advice one could ever receive is from a complete stranger. Or so I like to believe.
Anyways, thanks for your time! <3
I met my boyfriend, Adam, online through a specific forum. At first we were just friends, and quickly developed into feelings. During that time I had a boyfriend so I avoided getting into a relationship with him and kept it as friendly as possible. He is from Chicago and I'm from Miami. So we were pretty far away from each other and I never thought anything would come of it.
He got accepted to a university her in Florida, over 4 hours away from me and I thought that was pretty cool. But, I refused to actually meet him because I was still with my boyfriend at the time. Crap happened and a few months later me and my boyfriend broke up. So, Adam and I started a relationship.
Everything was going great. We met up in Disney, and had a great time. We both agree that's the happiest moment in our lives and we sometimes talk about it when we are on the phone. But, after the trip I found out he had a moment with a girl at his school. I found out through his texts. I know, I know, I shouldn't have been doing that but I was playing a game on his phone and didn't think much about it. Though, the last message sent/received was over 2 months old, it still hurt me. I confronted him and things haven't been the same.
I wanted to end it but he begged me to stay and to give him another chance, I did. I remembered how happy we were and how good of a guy he is. (He once drove down to bring me some ice cream during that icky time of the month) Months have passed by, and I get really annoyed. I hate him hanging out with his female friends, even though his subject of study and class are 85% females. I sometimes accuse him of cheating just because he is too tired to talk to me or he doesn't show his feelings. And he takes it. Until recently, all he said was “I'm sorry. I'm not cheating on you.” and always tried to prove that he was faithful.
He went back up during the holidays to spend it with his family. Only a day there, and I get a call saying he wanted to break up. He said, the fights were too much and it was too stressful. I begged him for another chance, and he stated he loved me but he needs to concentrate on his school. He then started saying that our relationship will never go anywhere like this, that we are always going to be a long distance relationship and he can't handle that anymore. We spent two days discussing it. I promised I was going to be less stressful and even promised not to bring up his mistakes anymore, something he hated and the main reason why he thought the relationship was too much. He was reluctant, very reluctant. He told me he would give us a second chance, then took it back a couple hours later because he felt “conflicted”. So we spoke again and he told me last night that “Okay we will give it another chance.”
What scares me, is that what if he is just giving me a second chance because of pity? Because he heard me cry and practically beg him for one. I really want to make this work and I am also conflicted because this was such a surprise. Seriously, like Wednesday we were talking about me driving up to see him next week and Friday night he ended it. Now, Sunday morning and he is willing to give it another chance. AH! I don't want to stress him out. But, I don't want to feel like our relationship is forced due to some tears. I don't know what to do or how to react anymore. Please, I need your advice.
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