Relationship will turn ldr..different colleges.

[colecoen94]

My girlfriend is a senior in high school right now and is going off to college next year. I'm a freshman in college but I could POSSIBLY get accepted next spring. Our colleges are only 3 hours apart and I don't work weekends so I can make the drive down to see her every weekend. Am I over reacting? I'm scared she may move on in college and forget about me here if I don't get accepted, or that our relationship will just die out leaving us hurt. I know it sounds crazy, ill see her Friday 9pm to Sunday evening most likely, then back to school Monday. I know the reward for waiting would be amazing, but we could be playing this "game" until we both graduate college. Or atleast until I do. We are both majoring in engineering so probably atleast 3 1/2 to 4 years for me. I would see her all summer, breaks and most weekends, but I also feel like the weekends would be a tease..

[Biddlybiddlybombop]

LDRs are sustainable in university. The thing about uni is that there are a lot of people who go, and are in LDRs when they go. The people who are really serious about making that relationship work, make it work. Sometimes university can make people realise they're not with the right people. It's not university itself that breaks up relationships, it's the person, and the environment. It gives people a kind of freedom to explore that they've not necessarily had before. As a freshman, I'm sure you've seen this in your friends right? Some people make it work, some people don't. There's no telling until you're in the situation.

In terms of visiting... Oh man. I'm in my second year university, and I am so so grateful to NOT have been visiting my SO every weekend. Look, university is a once in a lifetime experience. You only get to be that age, in that situation ONCE. If you and she want to survive, you have to make sure neither of you miss out because you're too busy visiting each other. My SO is on the other side of the world, and the one good thing about that is that I get to live a full university lifestyle for the most part. I don't need to be single to have a good time partying. I don't feel like I'm missing out. In fact, I'm worried about missing out when my SO is here next year and we do actually visit during term time.

So I highly, HIGHLY suggest that if you are at separate universities, you don't visit every weekend. Even if you visit every other weekend, you'll miss out on half your university life. Seriously, the amount of fun I've had at uni... even though I miss my SO, and I want to share things with him... I don't think I'd change anything. If you guys want to make it work, go for it. There's no reason why, if you two are right for each other, you can't make it work. But don't miss out on university life because of visiting. Really, really, don't. Because you and she will end up resenting each other if you start missing out on too much.

[lyonsgirl]

I concur: do NOT visit every weekend. Especially since you're both going to be studying engineering. If you know what kind you want to go into, that's awesome. But the freshman level courses, generally speaking, are weed out classes. And they do not get easier once you survive freshman year.

Don't get me wrong - I am all for visiting your SO and 3 hours really isn't that far away. So maybe plan a visit once a month. Trust me, you don't want to miss out on weekends at your respective universities. Yes, during my time at school I made weekend trips once in a while and no I do not regret them. But I would have regretted missing every single weekend there. If you're trying to make friends and "fit in" in your university, you absolutely have to spend weekends there.

Enough with the social aspect: on the academic side, when the crap are you planning to do your homework or study for exams? I know you think you would do your homework on the weekends with your SO. Oh no. You won't. Speaking from experience (5 years of college, my friend. Started in engineering, realized I hated my life, & got the heck out of it.) any time you go on trips away from school, you won't do homework while you're there. Especially when the trip involves visiting someone you love. (Weekend trips home to see my family: I'll bring this homework and work on it while I'm there!" Sunday night when I'm back in my dorm, "CRAP none of this is done.")

Don't get me wrong, it is possible to get homework done when you are spending time with your SO - but LDRs make wanting to do homework when you're visiting your SO seem completely unnecessary. And trust me: school comes first. You (or your parents) are paying a LOT of money to go to those classes and learn everything for your degree. Don't skip class, it's a waste of money. Do your homework, study for your exams. You will not regret getting a good education, especially when it comes time for your first internship/job.

[colecoen94]

Well the thing is I live at home and work near home. I have absolutely no life at the university I go to, and I'm completely okay with that. I have tons of friends at the university she will be going to so I will have fun with other people..I hate the college I'm at. It's a big commuter school and very artsy..which sucks. I love living at home and just going to class to get my education.

[floridaellen]

Well the thing is I live at home and work near home. I have absolutely no life at the university I go to, and I'm completely okay with that. I have tons of friends at the university she will be going to so I will have fun with other people..I hate the college I'm at. It's a big commuter school and very artsy..which sucks. I love living at home and just going to class to get my education.

I feel the same way you do. I go to a large commuter school and live an hour away from my college. I just go for classes and then I get out of there.

My fiance lives in New Jersey in my hometown and goes to school there. I go to college in Florida. I go back to NJ during the summer, Christmas break, Spring break, and Thanksgiving. That ends up being roughly half of the year. The first semester was rough and I was pretty depressed most of time. But it is manageable and it gets easier as you go along.

[kmarie1293]

I know exactly what you are going through, I am a freshman in college and I met my current boyfriend while I was here through a friend I made here but he does not go to school and lives 4 hours away from my school and 3 hours away from where I live. And then on top of that my Mom is very strict and only allowed him to visit me at home, so we ended up going all the way to my house in order to see each other. And to be honest it isn't as hard as you think it is, if he and I can make it even with all my Mom's restrictions, you and your girlfriend can definitely make it work.

[rach92g]

My SO and I went long distance after he moved from Georgia to California for college, and I was left to finish my senior year of high school. He will be in his 4th year of college this fall, and I will start my 3rd. It's not possible for me to go to college where he does because I need the state scholarship program that Georgia offers in order to pay for school, so we rely on visits every 4 - 6 months. It's definitely not easy, but honestly, I like that we are not together during the school semester. I work full time, and go to school part time, so if he was home and we were still close distance I would NEVER get any homework done. There is no way I could keep my mind on school. And he is the same way. We have our goals in sight and are working toward those goals, because we know that we have to reach them in order to have a successful life together. Don't freak out!! If you're going to see each other every weekend then you're going to survive. We survive only seeing each other about 3 times per year. If you truly want it to work, then it will. You just have to both put in equal amounts of work. I know you can do it! I'm living proof that moving away for college does not mean the end of your relationship!! PM me anytime!