Closed the distance, now going long distance? And college?

[MathnSkating]

We closed the distance last year. And we have had quite the year. Long story short, due to financial/family/medical reasons I have to move back to my hometown (2200 miles away). I had been going to university out here in Oregon but due to above, I can't return. The big problem is that I can't afford an out of state school really, not after the mess. If I go instate, I am guaranteed an almost full ride. Problem is, he is also guaranteed a full ride. Here. In Oregon. I love it out here, but I am in the process of moving back to Pennsylvania for the summer (due to medical stuff) and at the moment don't have a university to attend in the fall.

I have two options. Go to school in PA, the more financially sound decision. Or try to come back to Oregon. Which is financially more difficult to make happen. He essentially has the same options. Stay in Oregon where it is more financially feasible or try to move to PA.

My SO has stated he does not want to be in a LDR until we both finish school (roughly two years). So one of us has to move if that's the case. He has said he isn't fond of the idea of moving away from his family. Who all live out in Oregon.

My other problem is that my SO wants us to be 'completely committed to the relationship'. Which, sometimes means different things for us. I'm getting the vibe that maybe he doesn't think I'm committed because I have to move away. And he keeps asking me, as I make these calls about where to go to finish my degree, to keep the relationship in mind and try to do what will be best for that?

Only I feel pretty committed. I did move across the country once to be with him. Stuff just happened. I guess I feel inadequate sometimes, like I should be trying harder or something and if I'm not trying harder than I'm not 100% committed or something, but that seems a tad flawed too. I was committed when we were an LDR, so long distance, short distance, doesn't make you more or less committed. Or is it that by staying in Pennsylvania I'd somehow be 'choosing school over him' or something. I feel very confused.

Any insight would be lovely!

If it matters we're 23 and 25, and have both been in school for a while.

[Kristin91]

I know it's a hard decision to make, but if I were both of you I would choose the more financially-easy option. It doesn't make sense to put yourselves in debt when you don't have to. Two years won't be that bad, and you can visit each other and stuff.

[ams.201220]

Ahhhhhh!!!!! Come to West Chester!!!! (Haha, that's where I go :P) But that aside, financial problems are a priority. I can barely afford a one-way ticket to see my SO, so we probably won't see each other for a year or so. How was your ldr before you closed the distance?

[Sora1101]

I had to make this same choice though my SO and I were still long distance. I was due to move to him at the end of my senior year of high school but literally 4 months until I was to move I was awarded a full ride scholarship to a college down here. We had been waiting to close the distance for about 3 years by this point and the thought of being together for so many months only to have it ripped away at the home stretch was devastating. I was willing to throw it all away but this is what my SO told me.

This is too good of an opportunity for you to pass up. School is expensive and getting a free education is priceless. I would be the biggest jerk if I was selfish and let you throw that away, and I know someday you might resent me for it and I couldn't live with that. Besides if on the off chance we end up breaking up what would you do with just a high school diploma? You need to do what is best for you.

That is the same advice I'm giving you. Why throw yourself into debt when you don't need to? Forget about your SO and do what is best for you, it seems like he's doing whats best for him anyway so why not do the same?