Trying to adjust to it all - a newbie at LDRs

[Nikki912]

My SO other and I first laid eyes on each other June 9, started dating July 4 and I moved away Aug 14. *whew* Talk about stepping it into high gear! I moved to pursue a Masters Degree in a program that was only offered 500 miles away. From 7/4 - 8/14 we saw each other everyday and felt that us getting together was definitely an act of God! Our moms grew up together so there was a little familiarity from that. We feel like we've known each other all our lives, that type of comfort was there from day 1.

This is my first LDR and its taking some time for me to get adjusted. I'm adjusting to this new state, new home, new school and this new LDR. I've been terribly emotional. Although, this isn't my first time away from home, this is the furthest and I'm really missing that comfort of home. My SO has been so supportive and provides stength for both of us. I'm just trying to find ways to make this transition easier on the both of us.

[squeeker]

Hi there! LDR's can be tough but they are not impossible. I think the best thing is to get into a routine, find out when the best times during the week for you two to sit down and talk, whether it be on the phone, video chat, texting, IM, or whatever method is your preferred method. My boyfriend and I like video chatting and it's good because we can have the call on and be studying or doing what we need to get done as well. It is great that you two had such a great summer together, and whenever you get lonely, remember that, and remember why you are putting yourself through this! I hope you have lots of pictures, and if not, there's always next time you visit. This site is a huge resource, whenever you get lonely or need advice. But remember, to trust your SO and communicate with him your feelings and thoughts and be open to when your SO wants to communicate with you! There are lots of resources on the LFAD home page, including the "things to do" list if you haven't seen that yet. You'll be able to find loads of resources from looking at this site.

Just know you are not alone, and there are loads of people here in similar situations, making it work. I just started a university degree and had to adjust to new living situation as well, as well as spending the summer with my SO, so I know somewhat what you feel, though I have been in this LDR longer, and so know more what to expect. Good luck, you can do this.

[Kitty Boo]

It's nice to hear you've found someone so perfect for you! ^_^ It must be so hard on you right now, but remember that no matter how far away your S.O and family are, they will always still be there for you.

I'm sure you'll find plenty of ways to make your relationship more interesting/successful on this site, and if you ever have any problems, I'm sure there'll me plenty of people here with loads of good advice to give!

As for making the transition easier, try to set aside times to chat and Skype! Video calling makes you feel so much better when you're apart from your S.O, and is so much more personal and intimate than texting / phoning alone. There are also plenty of apps to help you stay connected, and you could always try to do something together to feel a little closer!

Good luck with your relationship (and your studies), and try to stay strong! *big hugs*

[haley]

We're in almost the same exact position. My boyfriend and I started dating on July 4th of this year too, and August 20th I left for college. I'm pretty far away from home and I know that it can be lonely sometimes, and my significant other helps me through everything.

Instead of thinking about how long it has been since I've seen my boyfriend, I just count the days until I'll be able to see him again. About a week ago I sent him a box filled with stuff I knew he liked (a CD I made, candy, etc.) and he loved it. We also try to skype or facetime at least once a day (usually at night) and it helps so much because it really feels like you're talking to your SO in person. I'm also planning a surprise visit to him, which I'm really excited about.

One of the most important things that I've realized since we've been long distance is that trust is very important, but you must also reassure your significant other too. For example, if you're going to go out with friends or something, let your SO know. I tell my boyfriend at least once a week that I don't need or want anyone besides him, and he does the same thing. It just helps keep the worrying away.