Roommate in LDR

[sarahjane1992]

I guess I'm not in an LDR then, I've only had to wait a whole month twice in our relationship so far

@RachelAnne, that's kinda neat. I wish I knew more people like that. My roommate has online friends but I don't think she'd be open to dating like that.

I'm jealous of that! I've had to wait a month and a half to a little over 2 between visits.

I wish I was an hour away from my SO.

[Ejoriah]

Well, it's a 12h drive, 2h by plane... It takes a lot of sacrifices and not spending money elsewhere. College is a bad time to have an LDR :P

[sarahjane1992]

We're 16 hours apart (by car.) I'll drive it IF I must. I'd much rather have a 4 hour flight.
Being in college and being LD just sucks. A lot to juggle at one time.

[loveknowsnodistance27]

Guys, guys, guys...this argument about what constitutes LD happens so often on here and there's no definitive answer. Everyone has their own opinion as to what constitutes LD, but you can't set a specific number. It's not a contest. So, trying to prove you're right isn't really worth it, since there is no answer. Please don't judge people or bash people because we all want to see our SO's and it makes people feel bad if they are told that their feelings aren't valid. </rant>

Anyway, I am fortunate enough to have a few friends IRL who are in LDR's too as well as people I talk to from here. It's a great support system and I cannot imagine going through it alone. Having people who understand how you feel makes a world of difference.

[sarahjane1992]

Guys, guys, guys...this argument about what constitutes LD happens so often on here and there's no definitive answer. Everyone has their own opinion as to what constitutes LD, but you can't set a specific number. It's not a contest. So, trying to prove you're right isn't really worth it, since there is no answer. Please don't judge people or bash people because we all want to see our SO's and it makes people feel bad if they are told that their feelings aren't valid. </rant>

Anyway, I am fortunate enough to have a few friends IRL who are in LDR's too as well as people I talk to from here. It's a great support system and I cannot imagine going through it alone. Having people who understand how you feel makes a world of difference.

I didn't see it as an argument. People can have different opinions without having an argument. Some people on here are too sensitive.
Personally, I was just expressing my opinion. Which I don't have trouble doing, haha.

[CanadianGirl]

It's funny how that sounds exactly like how I met my (Calfornian) SO! Here I was, thinking I was special..

I didn't see it as an argument. People can have different opinions without having an argument. Some people on here are too sensitive.
Personally, I was just expressing my opinion. Which I don't have trouble doing, haha.

On a forum meant to support LDRs, I think it's a bit counterproductive to debate this particular point. While you may not have meant it, online, it comes across as judging "short-distance" LDRers for even needing this site. A bit silly.

[Tooki]

I didn't see it as an argument. People can have different opinions without having an argument. Some people on here are too sensitive.
Personally, I was just expressing my opinion. Which I don't have trouble doing, haha.

Not really. I usually have a 13,000km distance of separation (Around 24 hours of flying time) if you want to bring that up.

I just find your opinion demeaning to those that are fortunate to be closer to one-another, especially because you have never experienced it yourself. I've done both an extremely long and a not extremely long situation. Both of them are definitely within the broad definition of an LDR and both possess their own challenges.

I would never, ever wish 13,000km of separation on anybody but its just as valid an LDR as 100km of separation.

[sarahjane1992]

It's funny how that sounds exactly like how I met my (Calfornian) SO! Here I was, thinking I was special..



On a forum meant to support LDRs, I think it's a bit counterproductive to debate this particular point. While you may not have meant it, online, it comes across as judging "short-distance" LDRers for even needing this site. A bit silly.

I still hold to my original opinion. Just because I have a different opinion, dosen't mean it's a debate or I'm judging anyone. It everyone had the same opinion, it'd be a boring place.

[sarahjane1992]

Not really. I usually have a 13,000km distance of separation (Around 24 hours of flying time) if you want to bring that up.

I just find your opinion demeaning to those that are fortunate to be closer to one-another, especially because you have never experienced it yourself. I've done both an extremely long and a not extremely long situation. Both of them are definitely within the broad definition of an LDR and both possess their own challenges.

I would never, ever wish 13,000km of separation on anybody but its just as valid an LDR as 100km of separation.

Like I said to CanadianGirl, I still hold to my original opinion. Just because I'm expressing a different opinion dosen't mean I'm judging anyone. If everyone on here had the same views, it wouldn't benefit anyone.

[Tooki]

Like I said to CanadianGirl, I still hold to my original opinion. Just because I'm expressing a different opinion dosen't mean I'm judging anyone. If everyone on here had the same views, it wouldn't benefit anyone.

I'm not saying that whatsoever, but your comments are coming off as very judgmental and invalidating to those who are able to see each other more than you can. Yes, it is your opinion, but your opinion attacks my relationship in its current state and that of other people on this forum. This forum is about supporting people's relationship, not telling people that they're not in a 'real' LDR because they're closer to each other than you may like.

This is going nowhere so I'll stop, but your passive aggressive statement is hardly validating.

[sarahjane1992]

I'm not saying that whatsoever, but your comments are coming off as very judgmental and invalidating to those who are able to see each other more than you can. Yes, it is your opinion, but your opinion attacks my relationship in its current state and that of other people on this forum. This forum is about supporting people's relationship, not telling people that they're not in a 'real' LDR because they're closer to each other than you may like.

This is going nowhere so I'll stop, but your passive aggressive statement is hardly validating.

It was not meant to be judgmental. I think people read too much into what I said. My original point was that if you're a hour away from your SO, that dosen't count as LD to ME because that's not a "long distance" from a person. Again, just my opinion.

I never attacked anyone's relationship. I just expressed my view. We can agree to disagree.

[snow]

Rachel I think it's awesome that you can share the experience of an LDR with your roommate! I really am jealous about that, because none of my friends know what it is like to be in an LDR and I know it must just feel amazing to share this with someone so close to you! Just one piece of advice: let her figure out how hard it is on herself :P Right now she won't believe you that it's going to be tough not to see each other when you need to, but she'll understand in time and then you can share the pain :

It was not meant to be judgmental. I think people read too much into what I said. My original point was that if you're a hour away from your SO, that dosen't count as LD to ME because that's not a "long distance" from a person. Again, just my opinion.

Not trying to change your opinion, but I know of some people on here who are only a couple hours away from each other but get to see each other only once a month or even once every other month, what would that be called in your opinion? I know where you're coming from, but it seems uncalled for on an LDR forum.

[80anthea]

Everyone knows you need an ocean between you to count as a real ldr (insert sarcasm smilie here).

[digitalfever]

Everyone knows you need an ocean between you to count as a real ldr (insert sarcasm smilie here).

Exactly.

[sarahjane1992]

Rachel I think it's awesome that you can share the experience of an LDR with your roommate! I really am jealous about that, because none of my friends know what it is like to be in an LDR and I know it must just feel amazing to share this with someone so close to you! Just one piece of advice: let her figure out how hard it is on herself :P Right now she won't believe you that it's going to be tough not to see each other when you need to, but she'll understand in time and then you can share the pain :


Not trying to change your opinion, but I know of some people on here who are only a couple hours away from each other but get to see each other only once a month or even once every other month, what would that be called in your opinion? I know where you're coming from, but it seems uncalled for on an LDR forum.

In my mind, being an hour away from your SO and seeing them once a week doesn't really fit the LDR box.
If you're an hour or so apart and see them every month to several months, that's a different case.
Today I met a co-worker at my new job who's SO lives 3 hours away. She sees him every month or so.
That to me is an LDR. She understands exactly how I feel. So refreshing.