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    #1

    Convince my parent to let me go for longer...

    So I've asked my parents and they've agreed to let me stay at my boyfriends place in August yes! Only problem is that my mom says one week "even less if possible".
    First of all, are you kidding me? It will be a year since seeing him at that stage!
    Second, she does not know what I'm going through. She thinks that this is easy enough, but as we all know LDRs are freaking hard!
    I haven't told my boyfriend yet because I'm surprising him for Valentines day, but when he hears the two weeks thing I think he will crumble... He wants to spend at least 3 weeks with me.. He says he will come back with me if he has to.
    What I'm trying to ask, is there any suggestions you guys could give to me to convince my parents to let me spend more time over with my boyfriend? Thanks in advance!
    Tags: boyfriend, convince, holidays, parents
    #2
    As I read your post, I felt a sinking feeling in my tummy. I know you and your boyfriend want more time, but your parents may not allow it. I thought and thought, but I can't come up with any good advice. Some parents are way more protective than others. My mother didn't want me out of her sight, even when I was in my early 20's. I'm trying to be more open and trusting with my daughter, but a ldr for her would scare me. Parents only want to keep you safe.

    The only advice I could think of was to stay calm when discussing the issue with your mother. Try to bring the subject up in a roundabout way. Try to work it into the conversation in little subtle ways here and there. Don't dump everything on her at one time, so she feels she has to defend her point. If you give her nuggets to think about without forcing her to change her mind at the time, she might come around. You need to prove you are mature and know what you are doing. You need to show that you can be trusted.

    Also, it might help if your boyfriend could spend more time talking with your mother, maybe Skyping with her, so she can trust him more.

    Good luck.

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      #3
      If you live with your parents and are supported by them, it is their call. You may try to negotiate. But my best advice is to make your life so that you don't have to get permission to anything. You are an adult. You are even allowed to marry. But if you want freedom, take responsability.
      I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
      - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



      "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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        #4
        Hi, I think piratemama has good points.. and I feel for you.. I know that my parents were nervous with me spending 2 weeks with my boyfriend on my first visit.. we wanted longer.. they thought it was still a lot of time.. it was sort of a compromise.. I was 20 at the time.

        I think the best thing is to not get heated up and argue the point, because it will likely just make you look more immature and your parents will be even more firm in their decision, possibly changing their minds to let you go at all. Parents just want us to be safe, so try and show them more and more that they can trust you and your SO.. and if you can get them to talk to your boyfriend on Skype or something, even for just a bit, it might help, I'm not sure.. also maybe try and talk to them about how you can't see him that much.. maybe this is your only chance in the whole year, and you would like to be able to experience living closer to him for a longer period of time.. to see how you are in person longer..

        Though just try not to act out.. a week is still better than nothing and in a few years you will be more mature.. if you are still with this guy, your parents will hopefully see that it's not a short term thing.. that he must be very special to stick it out so long with you, and see the connection.. and you will also be less dependent on your parents likely, if you are able to get a job and work and save up for your visits, your parents shouldn't be able to stop you.. and I think they will rather support you with your SO rather than lose you.. unless they have reason to believe your SO is actually not a nice guy. But I'm sure he is.. so you should try and figure out how to nicely and politely show that to them.. maybe they will let you stay a bit longer.. Good luck.

        Comment

          #5
          I am going to use a saying that we use in the preschool where I work, and please don't get offended; "You get what you get and you don't pitch a fit." Basically, I just want you to be happy with the fact that your mother is allowing you to go visit him and even STAY with him. My boyfriend has lived in California for almost 4 years and my parents have yet to allow me to visit him out there. They know him, they know his family, but my father is just so protective of me. For one, he doesn't think it's appropriate if I stay in boyfriend's house while I'm there, so I'd probably stay in a hotel. I would be totally okay with that, but he still won't let me go. I've learned that it's best to not fight it. His house, his rules.

          All I'm saying is that it could be worse. You could be in my shoes, always waiting for his visits, never getting to meet the friends he's made out there, never getting to see the lift he has made for himself in California. Be thankful for what you're getting. I hope you enjoy your time with him!
          Ignore the Newbie status. This is a new account created by a once very active LFAD member and veteran long-distance lover. After several months away from the site, I'm back!
          Old account name: Rach92g
          This Is Us
          Became A Couple: Friday, May 25th, 2007
          Close Distance: May 2007 - June 2010
          Long Distance (Georgia to California): June 2010 - February 2015
          Long Distance (Georgia to Tennessee): February 2015 - Present
          Got Engaged: May 8, 2015
          Closing The Distance: ?

          Comment

            #6
            I'd say instead of trying to convince them to allow you to stay longer, just be happy they are letting you go. Think about it if you try to push your parents into letting you stay longer and it could do the opposite and make them change their minds and not let you go in the end.




            Treasuretrooper <-- how I helped pay for some of my LDR expenses when I was in one.

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              #7
              Is this your first visit? If so I'd say a week is not bad at all, especially not while staying at his house. Me and my SO's first visit was 5 days long, but after the first visit it got easier and easier to organise new visits and at the moment I'm actually living with him and his family. Also, have you mentioned to your parents he wouldn't mind coming back with you to extend your time together? They might feel safer letting you spend more time together if it's closer to home and they don't have to rely on just phone calls and texts to know you're ok.
              We part only to meet again ~ J.Gay

              Comment

                #8
                Wow guys^^ thank you so much for all of the replies! I really like being able to talk to people who know what we are going through!Its fantastic! I'm going to talk to my parents about letting him come over, which i hope will be a success. They will probably like that they can keep an eye on us at my place... somehow I don't think I can push for extra dates... so i probably should be happy about it! Thank you guys so much!!

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