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**kayla_622** · May 31, 2014, 01:13 PM

Although I think it is good that you were okay with your SO going away all weekend long to hang out with his friends he needs to also realize that him going away all weekend every weekend while having you sit at home with no communication from him is an unreasonable request. He could make some compromises with you. Either he could not go one weekend a month or he could try to drive to an area where he has signal on Saturday's and give you a call so you two can talk for an hour or so.

**squeeker** · May 31, 2014, 01:45 PM

Yeah I agree with Kayla, it's good you are trying to be supportive of him hanging out with friends.. but he needs to be supportive of your relationship and understand that it won't kill him to not hang out with his friends at least one weekend a month or drive somewhere where there's signal. It would not be so bad if it was every now and then when he and his friends hung out somewhere where there was no signal.. but every weekend.. he needs to prioritize you over his friends more I think. You should try talking to him and coming to a compromise, with one of the ideas Kayla suggested I think or something.. if he's not going to compromise, it doesn't look too good for your future.. although I don't want to be negative.. so I hope all the best for you two.

**rhabdoviridae** · May 31, 2014, 02:19 PM

What if he called you Friday afternoon before he left or on his way there (handless device or whatnot) and then when he got back Sunday afternoon? In that case you'd only go one day without talking to him (Saturday) and he would still be able to spend time with his friends. I also like the idea of him driving to a nearby area with service if just to chat for a short while.

**bribri2729** · May 31, 2014, 02:27 PM

He does call me friday afternoon when he's on his way there and when he gets back sunday afternoon. My problem is that he does this every weekend. I'm trying to compromise but its still hard.

Originally posted by rhabdoviridae View Post

What if he called you Friday afternoon before he left or on his way there (handless device or whatnot) and then when he got back Sunday afternoon? In that case you'd only go one day without talking to him (Saturday) and he would still be able to spend time with his friends. I also like the idea of him driving to a nearby area with service if just to chat for a short while.

**snow** · May 31, 2014, 04:40 PM

Is he making time for you during the week?

**Unconditional** · May 31, 2014, 08:10 PM

Originally posted by snow View Post

Is he making time for you during the week?

If he's making time for you during the week, and you're only going a day without communication...I see nothing wrong with this, but that's me personally.

**differentcountries** · May 31, 2014, 08:22 PM

If there is only a 30 min walk, why does he have to sleep over at his friend's house? I really don't see a reason why you can't have some texts or a quick phone call every day.

Also, it does not seem fair that he should use ALL his weekend time with his friends now that he has a girlfriend. I understand he wants to go out and have fun, but if he for instance comes home earlier on Sundays the two of you can have a bit of more talk.

**snow** · May 31, 2014, 08:37 PM

Originally posted by differentcountries View Post

If there is only a 30 min walk, why does he have to sleep over at his friend's house? I really don't see a reason why you can't have some texts or a quick phone call every day.

Also, it does not seem fair that he should use ALL his weekend time with his friends now that he has a girlfriend. I understand he wants to go out and have fun, but if he for instance comes home earlier on Sundays the two of you can have a bit of more talk.

There is two reasons why: one, she already said there is no service and two, because he is hanging out with his friends. A lot of people don't like it when you're glued to your phone while hanging out with other people and I know from my brothers that sometimes they have rules that they have to give up their phones and can't respond to their girlfriends unless it is an emergency. I think this makes sense and I don't blame him for it.

I actually think, he shouldn't change his life drastically just because he has a girlfriend now. If he went out every weekend for the past 10 years to hang out at his friend's house, then it would be kind of mean to leave them hanging.

That is why my question is so important - is he making time for you during the week?

If he is and it is strictly her time during the week, then there is really nothing to be bothered about, honestly. Everyone needs some time for themselves and if hanging out with his friends gets pushed aside during the week, she should accept it during the weekend, especially since he is talking to her on Friday before he leaves and on Sunday when he comes back, so it really is just one day where they have no communication at all.

Yes, it gets boring without your man around, but friends are important and guy friends don't like being put aside for the girl.

**Unconditional** · May 31, 2014, 08:49 PM

It's just one day, any everyone needs me time. Besides, off she take the one thing away from him, his friends might think that she's changing him, and that wouldn't be any good for the relationship either. It'd just add more stress.

**silvermoonfairy3** · May 31, 2014, 11:27 PM

Originally posted by snow View Post

There is two reasons why: one, she already said there is no service and two, because he is hanging out with his friends.

I think DC meant why does he stay over at his friends' place if it's not all that far away from his house. As in, why doesn't he go home and go back. (Because when he gets home, he'd have service.)

But yeah, there could be any number of reasons why he doesn't go home.. they're up late, there's been drinking, etc..

I actually think, he shouldn't change his life drastically just because he has a girlfriend now. If he went out every weekend for the past 10 years to hang out at his friend's house, then it would be kind of mean to leave them hanging.

I think that's too far to the other extreme. He shouldn't change everything about his life, no, but some things do (and should) change. He shouldn't just expect to add in a girlfriend without making any compromises on a single-style social life. It doesn't matter if he's been going to that friend's house every weekend for the last 10 years. At some point, things evolve and change. It wouldn't be out of line at all to expect that maybe he skips one weekend a month, or he goes out on Saturday morning instead, after they have a Skype date night on Friday night or something.

That is why my question is so important - is he making time for you during the week?

This would be good to know, yes, but also it's important to the OP that they get weekend time. Maybe this is because they both work during the week, or whatever else. For a lot of people, weekends are the freest time, when you can really dedicate time and energy to people/things you want to be with and doing instead of fitting them in around work, errands, etc. Weekdays can be distracted, tired, etc.

With my SO, weekends actually aren't great for us most of the time. We get some time to chat on the weekends, and make it work around our other things. But Tuesdays are a free night for both of us. We're less busy, able to focus on each other more, etc. So if one of us had plans every Tuesday, even though we managed some chatting and emails and phone calls on the weekends, it would still be a bit of an 'infringement' so to speak.

Because it's not just about when the time together is, it's about whether the time is coming at the point when both parties feel it's an "important" time. Is he 'only' giving weekday time because weekends are his precious single-life real estate, etc.

and if hanging out with his friends gets pushed aside during the week, she should accept it during the weekend

Or, it could get reversed.. maybe it's spending less time with her during the week, but building in that friend time then, so they can have the primetime of weekend together. There's a lot of options.

**rhabdoviridae** · June 1, 2014, 12:46 AM

To me, it comes down to the fact that it's just one day a week that they aren't able to talk. For me personally, not a huge deal. To ask him to forgo an entire weekend with friends just so he can talk to her for a bit on Saturday seems a bit much to me.

**AussieAmericanGirl66** · June 1, 2014, 02:00 AM

He does need to give you more of a priority in his life. Once in a while, he needs to plan something special for you two, on the weekend, without being interrupted by friends.

It does seem that he could compromise, and give up one weekend a month with his friends, and plan a Skype date. Or, why couldn't he just spend Friday and Saturday with his friends, and then save Sunday for you? Or maybe it would work better if he would plan a weekly Skype date with you for Friday evenings, and then he could have Saturday and Sunday with his friends. And during the weekend, while he's hanging out with his friends, you do something for yourself, to stay busy and happy. That way, he's happy and having fun, you are staying busy and happy, and at the end of the weekend, both of you have more to talk about.

**rubydissolution** · June 1, 2014, 03:47 AM

Op do you sit around and do nothing on the weekend? Maybe you should take your boyfriends lead and hang with friends or family for that one day a week you don't speak. In that way you won't think about the fact that he's away and you miss him. I don't think there should be an issue with him seeing his friends every weekend. My boyfriend has a guy hang out every Friday and I actually prefer not to be there when they hang because its guy time. Him having his guy time will make him a happier person, and depriving him of it may make him resentful. So...I say suck it up. It's only one day.

**silvermoonfairy3** · June 1, 2014, 02:24 PM

Originally posted by rubydissolution View Post

Op do you sit around and do nothing on the weekend? Maybe you should take your boyfriends lead and hang with friends or family for that one day a week you don't speak. In that way you won't think about the fact that he's away and you miss him. I don't think there should be an issue with him seeing his friends every weekend. My boyfriend has a guy hang out every Friday and I actually prefer not to be there when they hang because its guy time. Him having his guy time will make him a happier person, and depriving him of it may make him resentful. So...I say suck it up. It's only one day.

Totally agree that guys' nights are fine and good for them, and I don't invade my SO's guys' nights, either..

But you mention your guy has a "guy's night" on Friday. What if it started Friday, he stayed over Friday night, it continued all of Saturday, he stayed over Saturday night, it continued Sunday morning, and then he was around again Sunday afternoon? And he did that every weekend?

I don't see anything wrong at all with a girlfriend not wanting that to be the pattern every single weekend, all weekend. I don't see how expecting it to change one weekend per month, or sleeping over one less of those days or whatnot is depriving the SO from seeing his friends or having guy time.

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