I need answers and thoughts!

[snow]

Silvermoonfairy, this is why I want to know more about their weekdays. If the weekend is the only time they are free to talk, then this situation is a lot different than if the weekdays are reserved for her. If she only gets to talk to him on Friday and Sunday after he comes home and throughout the week they have no communication at all, I would expect him to make some time for her, but this is why I didn't want to go further into detail until the OP explains more about their communication time.

And when it comes to not changing their routines just because they have a girlfriend now, I stick to my opinion and I do it because my man goes out every Sunday to play D&D with his friends, every single Sunday (from 8pm to 3am my time) and on Mondays he plays it online with the same friends, plus one friend that lives in Boston and can't come down to play on Sundays. He has done this for the past 17 years and it would be absolutely selfish of me to ask him to reserve those days for me, because I get all of his attention during the other days. I get about an hour before he leaves, sometimes I get nothing when he works longer and I have absolutely no problem with it. It is a "tradition" of some sorts!

There really is no arguing until the OP gives us more insight. Is it wrong of him to leave every weekend to his friends? Maybe, maybe not.

[Unconditional]

But you mention your guy has a "guy's night" on Friday. What if it started Friday, he stayed over Friday night, it continued all of Saturday, he stayed over Saturday night, it continued Sunday morning, and then he was around again Sunday afternoon? And he did that every weekend?.

If she was contacted Friday night and Sunday morning, like the OP, I bet she'd be okay with that. I know I would. It's technically only one night and day of no communication.
On the other hand, I see no reason why his friends can't come visit him every other weekend. I'm not saying change it entirely, still allow him that guy time, but atleast if they came over one weekend or two of the month, he'd have service..

[rubydissolution]

I'd be fine with it. I'm not home on the weekends and he is typically left by himself. So if he wanted to make d&d night last the weekend why not?

[differentcountries]

I think DC meant why does he stay over at his friends' place if it's not all that far away from his house. As in, why doesn't he go home and go back. (Because when he gets home, he'd have service.)

Yes, he would have service, as well as time for her without his friends around to evesdrop on him. Or he can take the car and drive to service, do something to be connected. He does not act like he has a girlfriend when she gets just scraps of his weekend. If they were cd, she would still get him at night, as ld they can't rely on that. He can make her more of a priority, and staying close to service makes them as a couple more connected . My boyfriend works every single day of the week and still has time for me. He even has to walk out of the house to find internet, but he does it, to show he cares.

[silvermoonfairy3]

I'd be fine with it. I'm not home on the weekends and he is typically left by himself. So if he wanted to make d&d night last the weekend why not?

Okay, so obviously your routine is different with not being home on the weekends. This is what I meant with time when it's 'prime real estate' free time for both parties. What about days when you are home, that could be prime chatting and catching up with SO time? You'd be okay with his guys' night last 2 nights and 3 days over that period of time?

[bribri2729]

Okay everyone here is me and my SO's routine during the week. My SO is busy working during the week he works Mon - Fri 8am to 4pm and takes online classes, must I add he is a big gamer. I understand that school, work, and having a hobby are very important because I value those things. We text a little bit when he's working. Then after he works, he games so we text a little here and there as well. My SO and I just got through talking about this and he told me he only gets to see his friends on the weekends. I am going to be supportive and compromising and we discussed that we would just have to try and do more activities during the week. Everyone is right its just one day that we don't talk, I'll just have to suck it up and deal with it because it won't be like this forever.

[Unconditional]

it won't be like this forever.

Definetly the right way to think about something that is in the way ^-^

[merlinkitty]

because it won't be like this forever.

Exactly. My SO is a big gamer too and I kind of think about it in the sense that if we were in the same room together and he were playing his games, what would I be doing to entertain myself I also learned that it's important to have a life outside of each other, as well. He's got his friends outside of you, which is healthy. You should have the same, too. I've dated a few guys and I managed to isolate myself, and their friends were my friends and I found I had no outside input or people independent of them to turn to when I needed advice. I also had no friends of my own when the relationships went south. I really want to spend all my time with my SO, but I do realize that's not possible, even if we were physically together so I try to learn a balance of keeping things going with him, allowing him his space, and keeping myself entertained I'll admit, all of this is a work in process, constantly changing and tweaked as our needs evolve but I do value the time we get to spend together that much more for all the times he's busy with his games lol you'll find your balance. It just takes time, practice, patience, and understanding, which you seem to already have

[babyjb28]

please give me some advice how to make her happy everyday even were too far away

[whatruckus]

please give me some advice how to make her happy everyday even were too far away

Um, I would suggest you make you make your own thread. Also, if you search the forums, there are TONS of threads about this topic.