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Does your family talk about marriage?

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    #1

    Does your family talk about marriage?

    I've noticed a weird thing with my mother recently. Ever since my SO's visit a few weeks ago, she has casually brought up the two of us marrying several times.
    Now, besides the whole "haven't been dating long enough" aspect (because we honestly haven't!) I would rather be settled into a career before I thought about that.

    I feel like being in my early 20's and about to start my life as an adult is really what's bringing this up?

    Have you noticed this with your family? Is the added stress of "becoming an adult" or "being an adult" from relatives something you're dealing with in your LDR?

    Guess I just want someone to commiserate with.
    Every long lost dream led me to where you are
    Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
    Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
    This much I know is true...
    That God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you

    |First Met: 02/28/14|Exchanged Numbers: 03/07/14|First Date: 03/14/14|First Kiss: 03/21/14 |Became a couple: 04/05/14|
    Tags: college, family problems, marriage, pressure
    #2
    Everyone does it to me and my SO, granted we're starting to get to that age, and we've been dating for almost 4 years... His mother does it, his cousins kept mentioning it this weekend (one of his cousins got married so I guess it was on their minds), and some of our friends have started making comments.

    We're not ready for marriage yet, and we're both on the same page about it. It used to really stress both of us out, until we sat down and talked and realized that this is our relationship, not theirs. They can want us to get married all they want, but we're not in any rush. Now we just sort of roll our eyes and go "okay we'll see".


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      #3
      Constantly. Though it's not so much marriage as getting engaged, since engagement is a whole own level for me and my family (example; my parents were engaged for 5+ years before marriage). They've been dropping hints and asking about it for over a year, actually, I kind of see it as an acceptance of my relationship with my SO. Neither of us takes any of it lightly anyway and we are very careful with focusing on what WE want and what is right for OUR relationship.
      We part only to meet again ~ J.Gay

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        #4
        my mom casually bring it up here and there. Mostly she just asks if we've talked about it before. Hardly. That's a whole other story.

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          #5
          They never did with my partners *shrug*. They did with my sister's and brothers' partners :P Guess they didn't want me to get married.

          Relationship began: 05/22/2012
          First Met: 03/21/2013 - 03/30/2013
          Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
          Third Visit: 10/09/2013 - 01/08/2013
          Closed the distance: 11/20/2014 ♥
          Married: 1/24/2015
          Became Resident: 9/14/2015

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            #6
            Nope, my parents never brought it up. In fact, my mom told me to NOT get married until I was 30. I still think that's good advice (although I married earlier )

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              #7
              My family never did. Marriage isn't really important to them. I think my mum doesn't really have an opinion on it, so she never brought that topic up.

              My SO's family, though... His mum had been day-dreaming about our awesome international wedding for years She's kinda in the wedding-industry, though and marriage is a lot more important in my SO's culture.

              Now that we're married my SO's parents always ask when my brother's going to get married whenever he comes up in a conversation Seeing as my SO's their only child and the other people in his family that are in our age group aren't planning in getting married, they probably needed to find someone else to "worry" about.

              ♥ Być tam, zawsze tam, gdzie Ty. ♥

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                #8
                My mother tends to talk a lot about marriage and a family (although we plan on having cats). We've only been together for nearly a year, however, and while I'm still very much in love, and although we do live with one another currently, I still feel it's important to wait 2-3 years before discussing engagement. My mother understands this and isn't in any rush for us to get married. For trying to change our minds on kids? Probably, but the both of us had largely parental roles/responsibilities in our families growing up and neither of us are keen to do it again.

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                  #9
                  No, I think they try to avoid it. Hoping IŽll wait some more years. My mom almost married a guy when she was my age, bought the wedding dress and everything but he was abusive and she managed to call it of right before it happened. I think she wants me to wait and make sure that this is the right choice before I get in to such a commitment.

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                    #10
                    My family are still pretty much in denial about my relationship, so they don't bring up the possibility much. My Grandmother is always hinting at marriage, but with anyone other than my SO, so I don't think that really counts! There had been a lot of teasing recently as my younger brother has got engaged to his girlfriend, but I quickly wipe the smiles of their faces by joking about a wedding to my SO. My brother finds this hilarious (the SO and I have made my brother the unofficial wedding planner ) as he is dying to set up an African wedding for the two of us.

                    My boyfriend's family on the other hand are a whole different kettle of fish!! His sister told me within two days of meeting me that she was hoping we would marry very soon, his Mother apparently said the same, but only having my boyfriend's word for it I don't know how much truth there is in that . The village elders and all of his many Uncles came from all across the country to give us their blessing even though we aren't even engaged yet, which was quite sweet and quite daunting all in one go. So weddings are very much at the forefront of their minds over there, I am already referred to as his wife. Even the taxi driver asked me how long we had been married, when I told him we weren't he grabbed hold of my arm and said "Why ever not?? I have never seen two people more in love!" Lol. I will never forget that, some of the nicest things are said by relative strangers

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                      #11
                      Originally posted by GuineaPunk View Post
                      My boyfriend's family on the other hand are a whole different kettle of fish!! His sister told me within two days of meeting me that she was hoping we would marry very soon, his Mother apparently said the same, but only having my boyfriend's word for it I don't know how much truth there is in that . The village elders and all of his many Uncles came from all across the country to give us their blessing even though we aren't even engaged yet, which was quite sweet and quite daunting all in one go. So weddings are very much at the forefront of their minds over there, I am already referred to as his wife. Even the taxi driver asked me how long we had been married, when I told him we weren't he grabbed hold of my arm and said "Why ever not?? I have never seen two people more in love!" Lol. I will never forget that, some of the nicest things are said by relative strangers
                      I think that is really nice too, but can understand why you feel it is daunting. Naturally marriage is very deep in the culture over there too.

                      "some of the nicest things are said by relative strangers "
                      This. Once when we were queueing at a grocery store there was a woman who just kept saying how we make a perfect couple
                      (She had had a few drinks)

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