The time is growing

[leditbe]

When I am at school we are further way from each other.

Well then you should have made your story more clear.

[whatruckus]

Like I said to the person who originally attacked me, it was just an opinion and I'm growing quite tired of people misunderstanding this.

An opinion doesn't have to be condescending and rude. Also, saying, "Well then you should have made your story more clear." doesn't help your case. Whether the distance is greater when she's at school, or not, doesn't matter. The fact of the matter is they live quite far from each other to begin with, and as I said previously, maybe they don't have the means to see each other as often as they like, or as you assume they should.

Driving about 8 - 9 hours in one weekend, round trip, is exhausting enough as it is, suggesting that she should be able to see him every weekend just because their distance isn't as great as others on here is even worse.

You can have an opinion and still word it in a respectful and upbeat way.

Starting off your other post saying, "I wish I had read the comments before I posted..." was rude. Plain and simple, then following it up with the rest of what you wrote, basically scolding her, made it seem even more rude. Whether you meant to come off that way, or not, still doesn't mean she probably didn't take offense to it.

The internet is a funny thing, the way things are worded could very well determine if you're coming off rude, or friendly.

[Harlequin]

Excuse me, but I was not speaking to you. Also, I thought that what I said might be helpful to this person. In no way is this interaction any of your business. I was only stating my personal opinion anyway, which is what this thread was asking for anyway; advice from a personal source aka an opinion.

Yeah well I'm talking to you, so get off your high horse and realize you aren't exempt from critique. This is a public forum, meaning the stuff you post is out there for everyone to see--including people you weren't talking to directly. If I see someone being rude, I'm going to call them out on it. She was asking for advice, not to be spoken down to by some high and mighty nobody who thinks that distance alone determines what is and isn't a long distance relationship. You've scolded her for not being *quite* far enough away from her s/o for your idea of what a long distance relationship should be, and then you scolded her for not providing you with enough details. Everyone else seemed to be able to provide OP with helpful advice without being rude, and we did it without needing all the details, and we did it without being a little snot about how close she is to her SO geographically.

If you felt like she wasn't providing you with enough information, you could've simply asked for more details.

[Unconditional]

In no way is this interaction any of your business.

This is a PUBLIC forum. Which has hundreds of members. Therefore, anything we read publicly is technically our business should we choose to respond to it.

[vicks5721]

I have no clue about distances of places in America completely, as I live in England right now and I know for example when I lived in south london and my family living in north london, it was exhausting getting trains and buses to see my family. I went monthly when I could but it would take me 3 hours total the journey everytime, I would get a train into central london, then a train to north london, then a bus to my hometown then I would walk 40 minutes to my family home in the suburbs. So I can understand the thing of distance in that sense and I can imagine America is much bigger, so I agree with other people on here try to be more understanding about her situation when giving your opinion and stop being so rude and inconsiderate to her feelings. Hours away from each other is still a LDR as they are not able to be in the same location right now. Money can make it difficult as to whether they will be able to visit each other often, and having free time with busy schedules.

[whatruckus]

Also, being that I live quite a shorter distance from my SO than 85% of this forum, still doesn't change the fact that there have been times I didn't see him for a month, 2 months, 3 months...etc, at a time.

To me, part of being in an LDR means you can't just call up your SO randomly and be like, "We're hanging out right now and I'm leaving my house as we speak, be there in 10!" as my IRL friends can. This is also the same way I described it to my SO, because he didn't think we were in an LDR until I said this, now he acknowledges that, yes, we are not the same as other couples who live closer. We have to plan our visits at least a week or two in advance if we want to be able to see each other often.

[Petals]

2yrs apart is tough but doable, especially since you are a few hours apart. My SO and I were committed to another 18 months before closing the distance but luckily we found a way to do it 1 yr sooner. When you know there is a clear plan to end the distance it makes it easier to deal with since there is an end date.

You both just need a clear plan as to how to cope with the distance and continuously show your commitment to each other. Work out some ground rules regarding minimum expectations for communication patterns and frequency of visits. You might want to look at a budget for visits too.

[R&R]

Hopefully even when you are further apart you will still be able to see each other fairly frequently. If not, there are still so many methods of being able to keep in touch.

I'm going to date myself now. When I was 21, my bf moved from where I lived to MA - a 2 1/2 hour drive. This was before cell phones & the internet, so all the technological things we have now just didn't exist. I didn't consider it a LDR, it was just an inconvenience. We both worked retail, so no set schedules. There were nights I would get out of work at 9pm, get there at 11:30 and have to leave a 6am to be to work on time the next day. It was worth it to me to be able to sleep next to him. I was also much younger and could handle that LOL.

The point being, take advantage of the technology. Text either other. Plan Skype dates. Send emails and e-cards. When you can, even if you only get one full day together, go for it and go see him. The time will go by quicker than you think.

[conejita_hada]

What's helped me a lot is not focusing on how long it will be but rather focusing on the next visit date (or planning for it, even if the plans fall through). Also, as other posters have mentioned, using technology - messaging has been a huge help and phone calls always provide excitement to hear SO's voice! :P

My relationship started out with an 1-2 hour bus ride between us the first few months so we saw each other more frequently than current. The pain of not getting to see SO after a few weeks was different than a few months apart, at least it was for me. At times, I think it hurt more because the memory was fresh and the next visit was unknown whereas now I bury myself in the semester and work between visits. Coping tactics were still the same in either case - planning for the next visit, keeping a shirt/item with SO's scent, and keeping busy with classes, work, or other activities.

Essentially, just keep communication open, let each other be venting partners for the frustration of distance, and remember you can also come to LFAD.

[AZZS]

Thank You all so much for understanding and helping me. I am new to any form of forum so I am sorry if I don't give enough details or know how to word things. I came here for help and support not to cause trouble. Each relationship is different and has gone through their own problems, I understand that other couples have a greater distance from their loved one then I am but it does not mean that we don't go through the same thing as they would. I am very blessed that I am even in the same state as my BF, I know other people have it worse. I go to school full time as does my BF plus he works. We are both college students that don't have a lot of money to be traveling back and forth as well as enough time.

[Harlequin]

Thank You all so much for understanding and helping me. I am new to any form of forum so I am sorry if I don't give enough details or know how to word things. I came here for help and support not to cause trouble. Each relationship is different and has gone through their own problems, I understand that other couples have a greater distance from their loved one then I am but it does not mean that we don't go through the same thing as they would. I am very blessed that I am even in the same state as my BF, I know other people have it worse. I go to school full time as does my BF plus he works. We are both college students that don't have a lot of money to be traveling back and forth as well as enough time.

Oh golly, please don't apologize! You didn't do anything wrong!
Your relationship and all the struggles that come with it are absolutely valid, and you don't have to apologize for it.

I hope you will feel comfortable enough to stick around, because this really is a very supportive community. Forums can be awkward to get used to when you've never really been on them before, but you'll get the hang of it. But seriously, don't feel like you owe anyone an apology.

[Honour]

Despite the rudeness of a certain member who participated in this thread, OP I think you will do fine. The worth will be wait it There's little else I can add except for this.