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Mental Health and LDR

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    Mental Health and LDR

    Hello everyone! I haven't posted since an intro thread I did, but wanted to share what I am going through in my LDR. For starters, I really do love my partner. They have been super supportive to me, despite my issues with depression and anxiety. We communicate regularly through text, occasional phone calls before bed, and mostly skype. We've been in a relationship for 4 years now, and my anxiety about our relationship is worsening. The number one issue is the lack of an end date. Everything is really up in the air, and there's no clear direction yet. I was also hit hard because I was hoping to see him this summer, but he is going to Finland with his brother to see family and inquire about graduate schools there. Now, I really do hope he gets into school there, and I hope something can happen, but I still really miss him, and haven't seen him since January.
    Altogether in 4 years, I've seen him 4 times. Right now, I'm struggling with depression and anxiety, (have been my whole life) and trying to work on a thesis so I can finally finish grad school. I'm hoping to be done in summer of 2018, but I dread graduating and still not being able to be with my partner. It would be easier if I could fly to him sometimes, but he works a lot and lives with his dad, who is not the most supportive, and is an angry drunk at times. So everything is dependent on him seeing me. Not only that but when he isn't working, he also deals with depression and anxiety so he oversleeps, which lessens our time together further due to time differences. I'm in Illinois, he is in Northern California, so I'm two hours ahead. He always says he is just taking a nap, but will then oversleep. Does anyone have a similar situation of dealing with depression and anxiety in an ldr? It's just stressful because my partner is my major source of support. I live alone, and don't have a ton of friends. I recently just hung out with a friend yesterday which really brightened my mood, but I'm so tired of going to bed alone and only being able to see my partner on skype occasionally for an hour or two at most. Again, I really do love my partner, just venting, and wish I knew of a way to make an end date appear.

    #2
    Hello, I am sorry to hear about how tough things have been for you. I know it can be hard when your SO cannot fly out to see you as planned, however you are both seemingly very busy people as far as school goes. I cannot offer much advice but as someone who also suffers from depression i can comment on that aspect of things. What I find helps, is if you find it hard to talk everyday to your SO schedule a once a week event, watch a movie together, Skype for an hour solid something more concrete then just trying to grab him when he's free. I also find going out really helps, go out on walks, exercise, yoga in he park. I recommend a journal as well, or even writing letters to one another something fun.
    End dates can be really hard to pin down while still in school a lot can change, best to wait till you both graduate and see where you can both gets jobs and good pay.
    First Met Online: April 2016
    Started Going Out: September 18, 2016
    First Meeting: Jan 11-18, 2017
    Next Meeting: Nov 8-12, 2018

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      #3
      Allurial, thank you for your reply! I haven't tried a journal. I try to go on walks when I have the energy for it. My number one hope is that I can stay with him when he gets into grad school. I would have my Master's at that point, so he could study and I would work. We are pretty good about communicating regularly, but I just miss him so much, that it interferes with my mood at times. The good news is that I truly do adore him as a partner. But depression and anxiety lead to issues where reality gets distorted at times. So, it can be difficult and I need time to recover. I really hope I can find a good job after graduation. I want to do a ph.D in the future possibly, but I'm so exhausted with school at this point.

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