what do you love and hate about your international relationship?

[Haley53]

As many others have said, my SO previously said he had no desire to travel in the immediate future, and it used to be a point of worry because it's a huge passion of mine. However, after he arrived in California and was briefly immersed into what it means to be an American (we did both the touristy and the very local!), he said he could see now why I loved to travel so much and has actually talked of travel with me and even suggested we travel a bit when I'm there for my working holiday! It was planned anyway, but it's nice to know I will for sure have company.

As far as what I love about my international relationship, well, I suppose I love the travel opportunity, as anyone. It's like paying for the flight and getting accomodations, food, and a tour guide free! I love the fact that I get to learn about different cultures and debate various things that have to do with our respective countries. I love that I have things to look forward to flying both there (moreso than usual on a holiday) and back home (seeing my family and furbabies) and that I have "things" there, like The Bagel Bar and a really good zoo, that I don't get here.

As far as what I hate, the distance, for sure, but not because I necessarily see it as an obstacle and not because I always see it as a bad thing but because sometimes it feels like I'd feel more in control if I lived there. There are times where all you want is to hold your SO or get a hug from your SO, and I can't always have those. I'm aware I couldn't always have them if we were CD but not living together, too, but I feel like it would be a little less frequent that way.

[Tanja]

I absolutely hate everything about being in this long distance relationship. I think its because we were together for 4 years before we were separated! I've had to move back in with my parents, I hate coming home to a single empty bed in my parents house. I hate not seeing him opposite me when I open my eyes in the morning. I feel so alone all the time, even though I'm in a house full of family. He's my soul mate and my best friend and talking on the phone or on Skype just isn't enough. I hate the fact that we just don't know when we are going to see each other again. He's actually banned from the UK for 5 years because he overstayed his visa. I cant afford to go to South Africa any time soon, because I'm in so much debt, and I dread to think about the whole immigration process to get into South Africa. But I guess I will think about that when that times come, which could be years.

I think it makes it worse if you have to be apart because of certain circumstances rather than by choice (for example job, studies, family reasons etc). 5 years is a really long time! I'm sorry you have to go through this, I hope you can find a way to go see him as soon as possible!

Luckily technology today is awesome and you can at least see and talk to each other. One of my mum's friends told me that back in the 40's she was living in a different country than her husband and they only saw each other once a year and could only communicate through letters that took months to arrive! I doubt many of us could do that :/

[Zephii]

Now the distance is closed, other than being able to hack on him for the way he speaks, I can't really find reasons to love being in an international relationship. Because we need to see both side of the family, our travel opportunities are less, not more, because those funds will go on visits to the country we're not living in rather than places we'd rather see. The time difference makes it hard, because while we were willing to stay up late or get up early to skype - our family and friends certainly are not. There also seems to be a big "out of sight out of mind" thing going on with some people, that makes it hard.

Then there's the visas, and the constant fear we'll do something wrong and be separated. I hate that the internationalness doesn't end when the distance does.

What I do like, is the opportunities it will afford our children. They will have duel citizenship and a greater range of options to where they want to settle when they are our age. They have a wider network of support. And, before they get that old, once they are able to fly alone mummy and daddy can ship them off across the ocean and get some peace without looking like bad parents haha.

[BlueCat]

Then there's the visas, and the constant fear we'll do something wrong and be separated. I hate that the internationalness doesn't end when the distance does.

I don't think of that often, but you're certainly right, that the international relationship doesn't end just because you're finally together.

[leonsfangirl]

I love..
The travel, I'm going to be tied to Canada now for the rest of my life and it's a beautiful country. I also got over my fear of flying and traveling alone.
The culture differences, phrases,ethics,child raising. Brings so much more to the table.
Time alone. Since splitting with my ex i've discovered i actually like my own company, which in the past has made me clingy. I dont think i would have learnt that in a close distance relationship.... well not as quickly as i did.

I hate..
The time difference. 7 hours makes it hard to have a decent conversation during the week for us so we have to wait till the weekend and by then some things are forgotten.
The expense. Flights arent cheap and for roughly 5 months of the year flights are nearly impossible. Add on to that the phone bills and the high mail costs.
"Missing out" syndrome, When you/ SO goes out and has fun and you dont get to share the experience with them.
Envy, you look at other close distance couples when your out and envy that they can be together whenever they want and you can't.
The closing the distance battle.... enough said there!
One of your will always be in a long distance relationship, yeah you may close the distance but they still have family and friends that they want to stay in touch with. Plus again the guilt of taking your SO away from everybody they love.

[MeganK]

I like that i was able to spend 6 mnths in england with my SO and his family,I loved every moment of it.
I love his voice, I just love everything about being in a relationship with someone overseas.
I dont love the distance, once it finally ends. It will be the best thing ive ever done in my life,
moving over there to england to be with the best thing thats ever happend to me. <3 <3

[lademoiselle]

I'll just name the main ones

I love the fact that I have the excuse to travel to France often now; if it wasn't for my SO and I being together I doubt I would have paid the country a visit any time soon. Also, because my SO and I always stay outside of London when he comes over, I'm having the chance to explore places in the UK I haven't been before either

Of course I hate the distance between my love and I, but you have to try and stay positive. Closing the distance is our intended destination - we may as well make the most of the journey in the meantime!

[Dziubka]

I like that I can get inside to a different culture in a way I would never have been able to if I had a partner from my own country. I've already spent all major holidays with my boyfriend's family and I really enjoyed learning about their traditions and taking part in them. We're from neighbouring countries and the same general culture, but there are still so many differences I sometimes feel like visiting a strange tribe

I don't like that even though we have no visa issues, living together is still so much more difficult. Having to get documents translated and then hoping that the universities or possible employers will recognize them, hoping that our level of each other's language is enough to get a job, etc makes things so much more complicated and expensive

[BlueCat]

If I'm honest I'll add that I dislike the fact that I'll have to leave my home country. I get that people don't want to leave their families, friends etc. But for me that's not the issue, I mean, I know I'll miss them, but Australia and it's environment just feels like home, it's the smells, the sounds and the nature. While I'm sure that will come with time in the US, I still hate leaving it all. But that's just part of it, and I don't have to leave forever, he's promised we can come back here to live. But getting to be with my SO is ultimately what's important.

[Zephii]

I felt the same way BlueCat <3

[Lady Death]

What I love: Like some of you guys said, not only would I get the opportunity to go to the US, but I'd also get a hands-on experience on what his life is like, travel, have fun and dine.
I love that we can be as normal as any couple despite the distance.

What I hate: Oh boy, don't get me started. I absolutely HATE the distance and the time difference(13-14 hours). Not only that, I've heard that it'll be hard to get the papers to migrate to the US, and that I will definitely have a hard time telling my parents that I'm seeing someone miles and miles away. (Yep. Elders in the East are usually not as open as those in the West.)

[MadMolly]

Zephii and Bluecat - I know just what you mean. I moved away from Australia (to NZ) about 6 years ago and I miss it so badly. The smell of gumnuts brings back nostalgia soooo hard. :-(

[xopookie]

Pros= Planning on him moving to my country Japan.
Despite the distance, the fact that I can trust him and know that he's a very faithful man.
We've been doing this for years so we're use to it, but he's become much more international minded and always wants to travel!
Being able to send him souvenirs from my country


Cons= Of course not seeing him all the time.

[xopookie]

As many others have said, my SO previously said he had no desire to travel in the immediate future, and it used to be a point of worry because it's a huge passion of mine. However, after he arrived in California and was briefly immersed into what it means to be an American (we did both the touristy and the very local!), he said he could see now why I loved to travel so much and has actually talked of travel with me and even suggested we travel a bit when I'm there for my working holiday! It was planned anyway, but it's nice to know I will for sure have company.

As far as what I love about my international relationship, well, I suppose I love the travel opportunity, as anyone. It's like paying for the flight and getting accomodations, food, and a tour guide free! I love the fact that I get to learn about different cultures and debate various things that have to do with our respective countries. I love that I have things to look forward to flying both there (moreso than usual on a holiday) and back home (seeing my family and furbabies) and that I have "things" there, like The Bagel Bar and a really good zoo, that I don't get here.

As far as what I hate, the distance, for sure, but not because I necessarily see it as an obstacle and not because I always see it as a bad thing but because sometimes it feels like I'd feel more in control if I lived there. There are times where all you want is to hold your SO or get a hug from your SO, and I can't always have those. I'm aware I couldn't always have them if we were CD but not living together, too, but I feel like it would be a little less frequent that way.

^ I love having that influence on someone to want to travel and see the world . It makes life more fulfilling and rich! My honey talked about traveling and joining the peace corp. but after he first saw me in Japan when I was studying abroad he became hooked and hasn't and doesn't want to turn back since!! Hehehe

[Caitlin2009]

Love:
I get to talk to her everyday

you learn what you can and cannot handle

im always intrigued on how she talks when she talks to another scottish person, her accent gets thicker which i love and is a major turn on


Hate:

heh do i really have to say it? guesse i do....THE VISA PROCESS!!!! o_O *twitches* its been pure hell, expensive and highly stressful!!!

being away from her in general is just...not right

when the visits ended when she visited me, and i visited her. worst days of my life, i felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest and stomped on. those days hurt like hell