How did you cope when saying the 'goodbyes' of your first trip and afterwards?..

[one-more-reason]

the first time I was a complete wreck, although it was made worse because I was leaving after studying abroad, so I was saying goodbye to other friends, the country, the whole experience, not just my SO. I still can't think of a worse feeling than when the alarm went off at 4 am when he had to drive me to the airport. when my flight was called, I was the last person on the plane because I couldn't stop sobbing and hugging him. during my first flight I was able to calm down, and actually felt kind of okay until I got home. but as soon as I started unpacking, everything reminded me of him and I was miserable. luckily, I was busy moving into my new apartment over the next few days so it kept my mind off of missing him. for me, the sadness just made me really tired and headachey and I felt like I was in a daze for about a week. it was hard to sleep alone, but it was okay eventually.

the second time was actually a lot better. I guess I knew what to expect the second time around, and I knew that if we could deal with the distance once, we could do it a second time. it was super hard walking away from him at the airport, but I didn't cry nearly as much. when I got home my roommate greeted me with a bottle of wine, which was lovely, and then another friend came and picked me up and we went for a long drive and listened to loud music. :P it was nice of them, even though I didn't feel like doing anything, but otherwise I would have just drowned in sadness. :P

I'll agree with what most people have said so far, just try to keep busy. see other friends, do things for yourself, express your feelings however you need to. if you need to cry, by all means, cry. I still break down fairly frequently because I miss him so much. and like others have said, definitely try to make plans to see each other again, it's a huge help to have even a tentative plan to look forward to!

[efish1042]

Tears. Chocolate. Headaches. Sleep. Distractions. Loud music. Sad movies.
It's kind of like a break up. Every time.

[marbear31]

I'm going through that at the moment. It sucks. I just said goodbye to my love exactly a week ago, and I still haven't properly allowed myself to think of it. We didn't exactly pick the best timing for my trip, with starting school three days after I got back. School's been both a blessing and a curse, because it's kept me insanely busy, but I don't think I've allowed myself enough time to properly grieve. Staying active with friends, homework, and keeping a positive outlook have been the three things that have helped me the most, but I'd recommend staying busy with things in general--things that give you meaning, that is, not useless garbage that will only mask the pain. I believe if you spend your time wisely, you will automatically be improving yourself for the next time you get to see your SO. It's a double win: you're a better person, and he/she gets a better SO!

Pretty much the only thing that's keeping me sane is knowing we'll see each other as soon as humanly possible. Being international definitely complicates things a bit more, but I keep telling myself that it will be okay in the end, and I'm trying to look at it from the perspective that I'm lucky enough to have someone to miss this much. Each day that goes by after is also one day closer to the next time you'll see him again, and, as cliche as it is, that's been my driving force.

I'm also completely focusing on the fact that our sacrifices now will better prepare us for our future, when all the hard work, tears, sweat, lonely nights, everything, will be worth it for the immediacy of his presence. In my case, I'm working to finish my degree, as well as getting back on track after screwing up majorly last semester (partly due to the distance). I look at it as being more marketable for a job; therefore, when I move to Ireland (where my SO lives), I'll have a better chance of landing a more lucrative job that can help us set up house more efficiently. Last semester, I looked on the distance through the sole lens of the present--everything was about how I felt in the moment, and, as a result, I forgot to live my life as with the future in mind. I thought I was helping our relationship, but, really, I was compromising it by my selfish choices (I skipped class a lot and fell off the face of the planet, and made our relationship my entire life). In order to give your all, you have to be your all.

I say this all because what has helped me most is concentrating on my individuality, not only for myself, but for a healthier, more active relationship. It hurts now, but it'll be worth it in the end.

Don't give up, stay strong, and always, always remember it will be worth it when you can finally be together.

I wish you the best of luck!

[NicoleJJJ]

It's never easy saying good bye. For me it's best (not always easy) to focus on the moments at hand. Enjoy every second you are together and try not to fret over the end of your visit until it is there. Expect tears, sadness all of it. I find it worse for a few weeks but then you ease back into your life and your LDR and everything gets a little better. Last time I had to say good bye to my SO I made myself busy making him a scrapbook of his entire trip (he came my way for the first time). It was really helpful to put all that love and pain of missing him into something I knew he would treasure forever.

I also agree it helps to have your next visit sketched out...even if you don't know when exactly it will take place. Having something to look forward can help a lot.

[hevpie]

Hiya, I am so excited for you!!
I recently had to say goodbye to my life 2 weeks ago.
We were sitting near the security checkpoint at the airport but I told him to leave before I go through cos I wont be able to stand in que knowing hes back there watching me. We were both kinda chilled talking but as soon as the time came and i stood up and hugged him we both broke down, I held him tight then told him to go, I watched him as walked away and down the escalator, I nearly keeled over I had never felt pain like it. I ran to the window to watch him leave, he turned and looked like he was going to the carpark but as I was heading back to security he appeared ahead of me, he had came back up the escalator looking for me, to get one last glimpse. I came up behind him and hugged him (he jumped a mile!) we embraced one last time and we turned and went out seperate ways. I cried the entire way back to Detroit (2 hours) Its been nearly 2 weeks since I got home and I am pretty depressed and miserable, due to his work and time difference we are lucky if we get to talk 45 mins per night. But on a happy side. I am so greatful that I had the oppertunity to be with him and it is now the challange to set up our next visit. Goodbyes are always hard but I don't seem them as goodbye but more as a Cya soon. Chin up to all the lovely people on here You will all be back together soon

[MeganK]

It never is easy, Even getting offline is hard for me, Leaving after i was there for 6 mnths, oh my I broke down and cried in the airport, its never gonna be easy, be ready for ALOT of tears.

[summerstillhere]

I cried for few days and also feel weird to be alone again.
But I make sure we stay in contact almost everyday and to hear his voice again can make me cry
well, I even cry when he didn't see me
I didn't mean I cant cope, I still go to work, eat, doing my hobbies, hang out, laugh and all that, I only start to feel sad when I'm alone so I try to keep busy.

[Adora]

I'm just back from seeing my SO for the first time in so many years. We were really quiet in the airport coming home, we just kept giving one another hugs and holding hands. When it was time for me to go we had a long hug and kiss, I said see you later and walked through. i didnt turn around as i knew i'd run back. I did however burst into tears as soon as I got into the departure lounge -people sitting around me staring and giving me those pitiful looks but I didnt care.
I'm sad to be home and I miss him terribly already - a feeling that I knew I would miss him but just didnt realise how bad i would feel - BUT being positive I know its only gonna be at the most 6-8 months until I see him again x

[hevpie]

I feel for ya hun, I was in floods of tears and I cried all the way through security, the security woman nearly had a fit when she saw me walk through with tissues in my hand she thought I was trying to bring something through and I cried the entire 2 hour flight to Detroit. The first couple of days are horrible but it does get easier. You will never stop missing them but falling back into routine again helps