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Feeling betrayed even though I know I shouldn't

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    Feeling betrayed even though I know I shouldn't

    Hey everyone!

    So last year I lived and worked in France and met my guy there. We were together in Europe in person about 8 months and then I had to head back to the States because my visa expired. The original plan was for me to stay here a couple months and save up some money and then go back to France this September for grad school. I have to travel to California to get my visa, so the plan was for my boyfriend and his sister to come out here and we'd take a road trip to Cali, I'd get my visa and then head back to France.

    Everything totally fell apart. While I got into school in France, I couldn't find work in the US in time to have the money to go to California. Then I couldn't find work in France to pay for my studies either.

    Anyway, my boyfriend and his sister still came out and I tried to find a way to make the road trip happen all the same, but just really couldn't afford it and had some family troubles that required me to stay here. What happened was we spent a little less than a week together and then my love and his sister ended up going on the trip without me. My boyfriend says that if he had come alone, he would have stayed with me but since his sister really helped him pay for the trip, he felt obligated to keep his promise and show her the US.

    I just feel awful and every time I see their pictures on facebook it just reminds me of everything I feel that I am losing and the great time I could have had. Now he is in the same country as I am FINALLY, but I can't see or even talk to him. He leaves me short facebook messages, but that is all. No skype, no phone. I am so depressed and not really sure how to deal with all these negative feelings.

    I don't want to be selfish and I want them to be happy, but I just feel horrible. I'm curious if anyone has suggestions on how to get rid of these feelings of resentment? Maybe I am just being selfish, but all I can say is that this sucks big time. Thanks for any input or ideas.

    #2
    hey, at least you got to spend some time with him, might not of been what you hoped, but at least it was something, unfortuantly life doesn't always go to plan, and If I was you I would be proud of him that he didnt just blow his sister off, you gota respect that in a guy, someone who cares enough about their family to still go though with the trip. Maybe next time you need to plan it so its just him...

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      #3
      Thank you so much for such a thoughtful reply. You are definitely right. I just hate it when I can look at myself and see that I am being a jerk, but I can't help feeling that way. I am trying to accept the parts of my personality that I can't say I really like and grow from that into someone better... Hopefully. I really appreciate your views on things and I think that is a great way of looking at the situation. I don't know what's wrong with me lately, but little frustrations have been getting to me more than they should. Such is life though. I am falling more and more for this guy and that kind of scares me and I think a lot of this is just a defense mechanism because underneath it all I am just afraid. Anyway, just wanted to thank you and I guess psycho-analyze myself on a public forum. Haha. Good luck to all of you in closing the distance.

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