Feeling betrayed even though I know I shouldn't
Hey everyone!
So last year I lived and worked in France and met my guy there. We were together in Europe in person about 8 months and then I had to head back to the States because my visa expired. The original plan was for me to stay here a couple months and save up some money and then go back to France this September for grad school. I have to travel to California to get my visa, so the plan was for my boyfriend and his sister to come out here and we'd take a road trip to Cali, I'd get my visa and then head back to France.
Everything totally fell apart. While I got into school in France, I couldn't find work in the US in time to have the money to go to California. Then I couldn't find work in France to pay for my studies either.
Anyway, my boyfriend and his sister still came out and I tried to find a way to make the road trip happen all the same, but just really couldn't afford it and had some family troubles that required me to stay here. What happened was we spent a little less than a week together and then my love and his sister ended up going on the trip without me. My boyfriend says that if he had come alone, he would have stayed with me but since his sister really helped him pay for the trip, he felt obligated to keep his promise and show her the US.
I just feel awful and every time I see their pictures on facebook it just reminds me of everything I feel that I am losing and the great time I could have had. Now he is in the same country as I am FINALLY, but I can't see or even talk to him. He leaves me short facebook messages, but that is all. No skype, no phone. I am so depressed and not really sure how to deal with all these negative feelings.
I don't want to be selfish and I want them to be happy, but I just feel horrible. I'm curious if anyone has suggestions on how to get rid of these feelings of resentment? Maybe I am just being selfish, but all I can say is that this sucks big time. Thanks for any input or ideas.
So last year I lived and worked in France and met my guy there. We were together in Europe in person about 8 months and then I had to head back to the States because my visa expired. The original plan was for me to stay here a couple months and save up some money and then go back to France this September for grad school. I have to travel to California to get my visa, so the plan was for my boyfriend and his sister to come out here and we'd take a road trip to Cali, I'd get my visa and then head back to France.
Everything totally fell apart. While I got into school in France, I couldn't find work in the US in time to have the money to go to California. Then I couldn't find work in France to pay for my studies either.
Anyway, my boyfriend and his sister still came out and I tried to find a way to make the road trip happen all the same, but just really couldn't afford it and had some family troubles that required me to stay here. What happened was we spent a little less than a week together and then my love and his sister ended up going on the trip without me. My boyfriend says that if he had come alone, he would have stayed with me but since his sister really helped him pay for the trip, he felt obligated to keep his promise and show her the US.
I just feel awful and every time I see their pictures on facebook it just reminds me of everything I feel that I am losing and the great time I could have had. Now he is in the same country as I am FINALLY, but I can't see or even talk to him. He leaves me short facebook messages, but that is all. No skype, no phone. I am so depressed and not really sure how to deal with all these negative feelings.
I don't want to be selfish and I want them to be happy, but I just feel horrible. I'm curious if anyone has suggestions on how to get rid of these feelings of resentment? Maybe I am just being selfish, but all I can say is that this sucks big time. Thanks for any input or ideas.
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