How are you "preparing" for your international relationship (culture related) ?

[Verojoon]

I didn't know exactly how to word the topic, hopefully it makes sense. I noticed that many of our international couple here come from different cultures, not just countries.

Though my SO is living in the US, he is Persian... When I met him I was already studying his culture for a book I am writing, but of course, being in a relationship with him has made it even more important for me to learn everything about his culture. I thought of writing this post, because I am currently cooking dinner and it is Persian food. He loves it when I send him pictures of a meal I made that his something from back home. I am also studying his language in the hope of one day being able to communicate with his mother...

Is there something you are doing to learn your SO's culture while you are waiting to be together? Learning to cook certain meals? taking a language class? brushing up on the politics of the region?

I can't be the only one who wants to know EVERYTHING about where my SO comes from, can I?

[kittyo9]

I should be taking language classes, but I'm not... mostly because I'm still in the middle of learning German and it's very hard for me to speak another language without thinking in German. The other reason is because Spanish is so common here, and I hate being common.

My SO doesn't have a lot of learning to do because the US doesn't have much of an individual "culture"-- rather, it's more of a mix of other cultures that kind of lost its flavor. However, my family is Greek Orthodox, and we follow Greek traditions, so my SO is eager to learn about those. I teach him a little about them when they come around every year, but most of it he would need to be here to experience. There's only so much you can learn by reading!

Likewise, my SO has taught me quite a bit about Peruvian cultures, holidays, and his family traditions (he's part Chinese, so they follow some Chinese traditions, too), and I do like letting him teach me about them so that I can be a part of his family, too. I definitely learned the most while I was there with him, though-- the food is very different, and they prepare more of their food from scratch than we do here. They have different ways of greeting people and even cross the street differently than I'm used to (and believe me, I had my mess-ups!). We also got to visit a lot of historical sites, so I learned about Peru's culture that way.

When I'm not with him, though, which is like 99.9999% of the time, I will sometimes watch documentaries about things in Peru, although they mostly revolve around Machu Picchu and the Incas.

[Alle1770]

You most certainly aren't! I was interested in Argentina and the rest of South America even before meeting my SO, but since I have I tend to ask him a lot of questions regarding all sorts of things, and we usually end up in very interesting discussions regarding the differences and similarities between our countries. Other than just talking to him to learn more about the general culture and stuff like that, I've been doing some research online as well just to get more of a grip about how the country works I've already been taking Spanish for 6 years (coming up on the 7th!) but still need to improve it A LOT, so I try harder to learn it to be able to communicate with his dad and the rest of his relatives that don't speak English. I would still be able to get around, but it would be great to be close to fluent one day! He's also showed me how to make a lot of meals, like empanadas and milanesas, which I tend to do sometimes and he becomes so excited every time I say I have, haha It would be nice to be able to get over there and not have too much of a cultural clash, so I'm trying my best to get an insight to what life is for him, and to be honest it seems so exciting I can't wait to go and explore it for real!

[EnglishMan]

Of course not, I too love to hear anything and everything my SO wishes to tell me .

It's a big thing to me hearing and learning about her life background, her beliefs, her views on things... it's all really interesting to me. There's arguably not a huge culture gap compared to most since we're a British-American couple, but there's a fair bit that varies quite drastically still. I think the more we know about each other the closer we get, and I love to hear whatever she tells me about herself.

I haven't really 'prepared' much so to speak, I think it's mostly been religious difference so far (im not hugely religious and neither is she really. But we follow different religions.). I know there's certain foods she loves, and in time ill make sure I can make them for her, but for now its all out of interest :P

[Verojoon]

Of course not, I too love to hear anything and everything my SO wishes to tell me .

It's a big thing to me hearing and learning about her life background, her beliefs, her views on things... it's all really interesting to me. There's arguably not a huge culture gap compared to most since we're a British-American couple, but there's a fair bit that varies quite drastically still. I think the more we know about each other the closer we get, and I love to hear whatever she tells me about herself.

I haven't really 'prepared' much so to speak, I think it's mostly been religious difference so far (im not hugely religious and neither is she really. But we follow different religions.). I know there's certain foods she loves, and in time ill make sure I can make them for her, but for now its all out of interest :P

Both my mother's fiance and my sister's husband are British... The Canadian/British culture gap is actually quite fun... mostly little oddities here and there... I'm assuming it's the same with the US/British culture gap...

[EnglishMan]

Both my mother's fiance and my sister's husband are British... The Canadian/British culture gap is actually quite fun... mostly little oddities here and there... I'm assuming it's the same with the US/British culture gap...

Yeah, it's mostly little things like you say , the culture gap is not as big as it would be if I was with somebody from say the far east, or even neighbouring European countries. Our base values are moreorless the same, and culturally it's not too dissimilar. It says a lot about our cultural closeness when one of the bigger things is the fact that we spell it colour and she spells it color :P.

[Verojoon]

we spell it colour in Canada too! hehe My SO who is still working on his English (he seriously won't believe me that his English is gooood!) says of course I would confuse him more to spell things in Canadian ways when he is learning English in the US!

[lucybelle]

One of the things I love so much about my relationship is how we can learn from each other every day. Even though we're both fluent in each other's languages we still learn new words and phrases. For example, they other day I taught my SO "simmer down now!" and he taught me "me paré de uñas!" and "nombres!!" There's lots and lots of slang in Costa Rica so even though I know Spanish, I've still got plenty to learn

CR is not known for it's gastronomic delights, it's mostly just rice and beans, so I've introduced my SO to the world of cuisine. Before living with me he had never had curry. How are you 30 years old and never had curry? What a shame... Also introduced him to beer with flavor. The only beer available here is light lagers. Well now there's one microbrew, but my SO now loves a good beer.

We watch lots of American shows together, especially Daily Show, Colbert Report and SNL. So he knows a lot about American culture, society and humor. I only have to stop and explain jokes to him every once in a while. Unfortunately, there's not any good Costa Rican shows (they're sort of like Sabado Gigante but with much less funding and uglier people) so I am still learning CR humor. I watched a Colombian comedian the other day (Colombian Spanish is very similar to CR Spanish) and I understood just about everything. So that made me happy that I could get some humor.

And I'm rambling... but yeah, I have to say we love learning about each other's cultures.

[EnglishMan]

we spell it colour in Canada too! hehe My SO who is still working on his English (he seriously won't believe me that his English is gooood!) says of course I would confuse him more to spell things in Canadian ways when he is learning English in the US!

No, you have to save the poor guy! Don't let him learn that barbaric version of our language!!

Haha jk . Yeah I can imagine so, the Americans have a few different pronunciations too. That's just reminded me of a time I was in a Skype call with my SO and her family, and my SO goes 'You're gunna love what they call popsicles over there...', and her mum goes 'No... they dont call them ice lollies do they?'. And she just looks at me, shakes her head and says 'If you plan to be my future son-in-law, you are gunna have to change your ways...'. Was pretty funny

[Xanahtas]

The UK/Canada culture isnt hugely different. It's mainly british slag which he had to get his head around! And out Beer... its a lot stronger than the stuff he is used to so when we went to my grandparents for xmas, he got himself buzzed by drinking too much, too quickly! For Canada, i dont think that i have had to learn much.

But my SO's parents are indian and he lived there for a while when he was a kid. So that part is quite interesting. I often ask him about things. He has taught me a little Hindi (but i still cant actually say it!), taught me a little about Hinduism and all the indian culture. I find it all rather interesting. The best part is, he can cook proper indian food - And i LOVE indian food - so its heaven for me.

But when it comes down to it, neither of us are religious, we both have the same morals and believe the same things. So there isnt that much to learn :P

[Verojoon]

The best part is, he can cook proper indian food - And i LOVE indian food - so its heaven for me.

so jealous!!

[Tooki]

The language (everything over there revolves around it)

But as the people in relationships with a Finn would know, learning the language doesn't go to well

[Moon]

We don't really have huge cultural differences, but we have fun with them when we discover them. We celebrate holidays somewhat differently, and like to fake-argue who's is better We have a few different ideas on how we view the world, he has a European standpoint, while mine is American, but we learn from each other that way. But the big one is learning his impossible language My god, Finnish is tough, I'm pretty convinced even Finnish people can't possibly speak it correctly, no one can! He keeps telling me not to bother, since most Finns are pretty fluent in English, but I'd like to be able to have a conversation with his mother one day, even if it's like she's talking to a two year old, without him having to translate. I'd like to go grocery shopping without my Finnish to English app. I'd like to be able to ask basic questions to strangers, if I need to. I like showing respect to the country I visit frequently, you know?

Of course I've read and researched all things Finnish, and still do. I've read the history, checked out the mythology, researched the differences between Finnish and American people, been to a few different cities and observed carefully, figured out the public transportation system, wandered Helsinki myself, and just generally have tried to absorb as much as I can. Good thing I really, really enjoy this kind of stuff!

[Nbaby]

Need to start learning the language (french). We also have a huge culture gap but he doesnt know about it (yet).

[Honour]

My other half is Hispanic, so his world is very different to my own in some ways. He's experienced a culture I never have before, and he also has different types of food to what I have over in the UK. His ancestry is extremely varied and he has all manner of nationalities running through his family: Mexican, Cherokee Indian, not to mention Irish, English and a number of other European nationalities, whereas I'm English on my father's side and have a tiny bit of my mother's side in me too (she's originally from Iraq, but her family was mainly English and it's only my mother's father and his part of the family that was originally from there, but that's another story). I guess I could work on my Spanish a bit more, since although he's not fluent, he can speak more than I can at least xD.