Over-thinking and Paranoia

[D.4C]

i know that especially since she was here to visit...i miss her more than ever...and there are times when i don't hear from her for a bit...and i get a little anxious...but i just realize that she does have a life there...and things she needs to do...i just keep remembering that in less than 3 months we are closing the distance...and i will have her here by me...so i deal the best way i can

[tamy1987]

I was aboutto start a thread on anxiety and just found this one. I can totally feel you.I suffer from anxiety disorders... and it sucks!! This week I started obsessing over not liking my boyfriend anymore... it's awful because I know I love him, but I can't stop thinking that I might not like him anymore, I try to find bad thing in his personality, physical appearence... I'm soo overwhelmed! And I feel so bad because he is always happy talking to me while I think themost awful things about him I would like to talk to anyone here with the same problem, so feelfree to contact me!

[Softy]

Like others said, you arent alone.

/hugs

I'm in the same boat : )
Yes LDR is harsher than if you were close, because when someone is far, it's not like if you could drop by and say 'oh hai, thought i'd come over and hug you!'

I think only thing we can do is try to calm down and try to control our 'being anxious' : )

[Adora]

YUP YUP YUP!!!! This is so me, and at this exact time too

[Sora1101]

Sounds like me on my bad days. When I start missing my SO tons more than normal I always feel anxious.

[lademoiselle]

I can't help feeling a bit anxious when my SO seems distant during conversation, or doesn't stay to chat for long although we haven't spoken much during that particular day. Or even if he sends less emoticon kisses than usual when it's time to say goodnight! But more often than not he's just tired, or busy with other stuff. He's more likely to ask "is everything okay?" than I am though, I just suffer in silence and tell myself there's really most probably nothing wrong

[jdwate]

I do a lot because I worry about too many thing at one time then I tell my SO and I think that I'm burdening him with my problems.

[Adelia]

Owh my goodness, I thought it was only me. I'm so glad I found this forum so I know I'm not alone. It is a vicious cycle as my SO work in shift and been very busy now. We even only have communicate once a week (if I'm lucky) now its almost 2 weeks and I start getting worried. There were times I feel like crying missing him terribly. I try to stay strong just like he told me. To all of member here, stay strong also. I know we can!

[dianakarenina]

Hello! This is my first post ever and I just have to say that it's totally true. It is extremely hard not to get anxious and paranoid. Actually, my SO and I fought this past weekend for this reason. I told him that I didn't feel he had an emotional investment in us and it got really huge. Of course he reminded me of all he's been doing: learning spanish, learning catalan (I'm going to spain in a couple of months), not seeing anybody else and answering super long e-mails with super long e-mails even though he's really busy right now.

I do get my anxious panic attacks and that's what my friends are for. They're usually the barometer against which I measure my irrationality. Five seconds ago I was raving about this friend of his who is very flirty on his facebook but of course I won't ruin it with jealousy.

So, all in all, I do understand you guys. It's really hard. I am so happy I found this community because, as hard as my friends try, they don't really understand how hard it is. Also, I am really inspired by your answers and your stories. Thank you! I think my anxious attacks subsided because I just found other people who feel this way.

[snow]

At the beginning of our relationship I was really clingy and I got super upset when we didn't talk as much as we used to or when he seemed more distant, but as time went by I learned that his feelings are stronger than I thought they were and that when he's not as talkative or when he's busy it doesn't mean that something changed between us.
It took me almost half a year to come to terms with this, but I know that you all will see that there is nothing to fear when you don't get to talk that much for a certain time - just be open about your feelings!

[Mims27]

This is exactly the reason I went looking for this group. I had been dealing paranoia and over thinking things. This was causing a lot of tension between my SO and I. And we had been fighting quite a bit, which is totally unlike us. But we have talked it out and we are ok now. And I have been dealing with my issues with the help of this site. When I feel something creep up, I come here. Read a few posts and instantly feel better. It's definetly a great feeling knowing there's other people out there going through the same stuff.

[Sukkerklumpen]

I hate that feeling and how our mind can be our own worst enemy. When my mind goes there I try to reassure myself that it is just my insecurities talking. Usually the things that creep up on my mind is that he will get tired of being in an LDR and choose to go back to his ex, whom is just an hour away from him. I mean, come on, one hour away vs on the other side of the world?...yeah, it gets to me. Also when most of the day passes by and he hasn't texted me yet, all those thoughts of " Maybe he wants a day off of me" or " Anything else he is doing is more important than messanging me" Again, my mind being evil to me. I just try and distract myself and keep on with my day thinking that when he has time, he will contact me.

[melarie]

I was feeling like this last night actually. Sometimes I just get this feeling like I'm complaining too much or I'm boring him, and even though he assures me I'm not, I still worry. It's silly though because he doesn't act any different or anything, I just feel like I'm being a nuisance for no reason.

[Hollandia]

I swear I think I am losing my mind. The man IM me every single day from after his dinner till he goes to bed and I can't help feeling like he does not want to really talk to me. I am thinking there is too much time between responses or they are too short... you name it. The thing is I know that if I man does not wish to talk to you they don't. At least not every day for 3-5 hours. What is wrong with my brain??? I have been freaking out over this for a week now and then one phone call from him and I realize it was all in my mind. He actually asked me why I was being so quiet. I could not even think of an answer to say. I will be back with him in a week and a day and I don't even know why my brain goes there sometimes. It is actually getting exhausting. I just hate the distance so much I just want to cry. I can't even trust my own brain.

[Sukkerklumpen]

I was feeling like this last night actually. Sometimes I just get this feeling like I'm complaining too much or I'm boring him, and even though he assures me I'm not, I still worry. It's silly though because he doesn't act any different or anything, I just feel like I'm being a nuisance for no reason.

^ This!! Omg, exactly my thoughts :/ I actually ask him " Am I boring you? Would you like to talk later? " at times cause I feel like I'm bothering him.