HELP NEEDED

[marizka]

My ex ldb is trying to get back with me again. he contacted me more than ever.
While at the mean time i am in another ldr.
I broke up with my ex cause whenever i asked him when he can come and visit me, he always answer me 'idk'.
while with my bf now, he is planning to come either or valentine or my b'day on march 2013.
my ex knows i am on a new relationship. but, apparently he doesn't seem to care.
he still try to talk to me and contact me every single day.
saying that he miss me and all that.

help please. what should i do???
while at the mean time, me and bf is going some rough time.
he's really busy now and when i kinda complained,, he said if i want him to come to visit me on-time..
i should bear these times of him being all busy and caught up in work.
me and my current bf communication is getting less and less.
even though, we try to talk whenever we have the chance.
plus, my bf now is in the hospital. i feel really bad that i am so far away from him and can't do anything.

help. what should i do..
my mind is mixed up at the moment. i can't think clearly..
need some advice.

[kittyo9]

Block him if you don't want him to contact you. He's not being very respectful of your boundaries.

[Romeo s Juliet]

you in your heart knows what you want. your ex is a ex for a reason. if his constant contact is becomes a issue and its making you confused you need to block/cut contact with him, take time to calm yourself and concentrate on you and your bf.
good luck!

[Kiyama]

you in your heart knows what you want. your ex is a ex for a reason. if his constant contact is becomes a issue and its making you confused you need to block/cut contact with him, take time to calm yourself and concentrate on you and your bf.
good luck!

I second this.
Also, the grass is always greener on the other side. Now that it's rough with your bf, you probably tend to forget what the issues were with your ex. You broke up for a reason and if the contact confuses you, you should block him.

[Nbaby]

I am dealing with these same problems at the moment too but my ex is close distance. The thing about the long distance is that its easier too break the contact between you and your ex. At least if you are willing to do that. I personally advice you to do so since it can cause issues with ur current relationship. Its time to choose now. If you really love your current boyfriend its better for you to take that step to block him and not let him in ur life. He had his chance and he didnt took it. You sure he deserves another one?

[Softy]

Before doing anything all at...
Make sure you know what you want.

[Honour]

An ex is an ex for a reason Block him if you don't want any contact, and focus on working on any issues you have in your current relationship.

[marizka]

thanks for the advice. in my heart i know i do love my bf even though things are rough now and we are still in a long distance.
i miss him more these days. idk why. especially now, when he is in the hospital and we can't communicate.
we have not been talking for 2 days. i miss him badly.

[louisekerry]

It's going to be really easy to become confused right now as your current situation with your boyfriend is more difficult. But look at it this way, all the while your ex was telling you he didn't know when he'd be able to see you, your current boyfriend has at least given you some indication, even if he is busy right now, it sounds like he's making work his priority right now so that he -can- come to see you. Did you ever have that kind of commitment from your ex? I've probably spent more time with my current boyfriend than I did my ex, and me and my ex weren't long distance but not round the corner either, whereas my current boyfriend is 10k miles away. It might feel more confusing now as you seem to be getting more attention from your ex than from your boyfriend and that is going to play on the fact that you're probably feeling very lonely right now. My advice would be do whatever you can to cut contact with your ex, concentrate on making things better with your boyfriend, and see how you feel when things calm down. You'll probably find that its the affection/attention you're missing, not your ex.

[Verojoon]

I was in a similar situation over the summer... except the boyfriend at the time was a close distance relationship. I didn't let my ex (now current again) interfere with my relationship. He made a lot of realization during that time and said many things that could maybe have swayed me, or made me feel undecided like you, except that, like several posters have said, people are exes for a reason. I didn't get back in touch with my ex until after the other relationship ran its course for reasons completely unrelated to him... Actually when he found out we broke up, he thought for a while we would get back together, but I still felt he needed to do a lot of growing up... I thought it would take years... But he finally cut contact with me... even if at that point I wasn't seeing anyone and really wanted his friendship... I continued trying to date and meet other people but it was disastrous... Finally, it was when I was thinking of taking a vacation anyways and I wondered if he would see me and we could have just a vacation (not a relationship) I told myself I needed a week where I was with someone I knew loved me, and I could just be myself and relax and not worry about all the stuff from the summer... nothing else... though by the time I got on the plane, I would have to have been stupid to still believe this was a no-strings-attached vacation! We had talked a lot and I could see how much he had matured and how much he was willing to work on our relationship and the obstacles that make the distance between us so difficult... By the end of the vacation, I knew without a fact that the months we were away from each other during the summer did us both some good. We were really able to redefine our priorities... and grow-up...

Anyways, here is what I'm trying to say: Give your current relationship everything you have. If it fails, then it has nothing to do with your ex-bf.... As for your ex-bf, do whatever you can to get him out of your life. Explain to him how he is not respecting your boundaries and explain to him why your relationship failed. Explain to him that you are in a relationship and that he needs to understand that this does not include him. He cannot be in your life. He will either continue to act in a way that does not respect your current need, or he will mature from it and respect you... Now work on your current relationship. Do what you can for it... If it fails, you can try re-discovering your previous relationship... There are chances he'll have moved on.. or chances that the time that has passed will keep you from wanting to rediscover it... But, I think to just go back to him now, wouldn't be a good decision... Good luck!

[marizka]

i did explain everything to my ex and luckily he is willing to understand and respect my decision.

but things with my bf gets tough now. we start to talk less and less because he works and runs his own company as well.
so when he's at home and talk to me, he is always working and talking to his business partners as well. he barely spare a lil bit of his time for me. as his gf i just want him to spare his time for us not just for me or him.

he's close on getting fired from his current job as well and busy looking for a new one. so that adds up to his 'already busy' schedule. when i tried to ask him whether he can come next year or not, he said he'll worry about that when he already have a new job and when i asked if he already start saving or not.. he give me the same answer.

its true that his goal is to come on feb or march 2013 (val's day or my b'day) but i said he can come on april as well (my dad's b'day). the reason is that he wants to talk to my parents about closing the distance when he come and proposed.

i am wondering... how long do u guys wait to see ur ldb? months? years? what do u do while waiting? what do u do when things gets though?

cause i did try to talk things with my bf but he always give me the sense of he's under pressure and stress and all that.
kinda makes me feel that i am a really horrible, selfish and not understanding gf. i am really confused right now. i don't know what to think. help.. please...