What should I do :(???

[Djack]

Im not in an international relationship as such, but me and my boyfriend moved countries together to Australia.
And im in a major pickle. I moved cities in July to finish the last year of my degree and both said we could do it!
He visits every 4 weeks on a work paid flight to see me, which is great.

But last Friday he text me saying this isn't working, completely out of the blue, and that he cant change his mind. I was shocked and really upset, we spoke that night and currently we are still together
He says he doesn't want to be in a relationship hes not fully committed to (communication wise).
Last night he suggested an open relationship and i lost it, saying no way, and he multiple times there isnt any one else and doesn't want to be with others.
He wants to be with me, but doesn't want me to be alone.
So im giving him space for 2 weeks to see what he really wants.
He's still coming down in 3 weeks to see me, for four days of the week he has off.

However, he does suffer bad depression, before we even got together. And so I don't know if it coming from this or not?

Any help on what I should do?
I want to keep fighting for this cause i bloody love the guy ! Hes all i have in this country, no family or anything.

Or any one in a similar situation?

[redapple]

Maybe it is a period of depression- but it could also be a whole load of things. Honestly, my initial reaction was that he had wanted to break up with you but due to your reaction had then backed down and therefore suggesting an open relationship as a compromise or maybe as a step towards breaking up. But you know what? I'm not him so I'm only guessing!

If he really wants an open relationship and you don't then you need to be honest about where that leaves you two as a couple. Or maybe he is jut going through a rough patch and doesn't know what to do. Either way I'd still do the planned visit but go in with an open mind and talk lots!

[Amelia]

i think its a good idea to give him space, some people go through rough patches and become emotional and depressed about certain issues and get ideas that their bf/gf can do better, could be more happier with someone who is closer or wont be lonely anymore. When he does visit i think you need to have a talk about everything and see if there is an underlying cause for the possible breaking up/open relationship.

If its about communication, maybe you can figure out how to improve communication on some level ie skype,emails,calling etc..

Also open relationships not a fan of them because i dont see the point, how can you be in a relationship with someone but still go and have fun with other people, i find that would cause more hurt and stress than a break up plus what happens when its a closed relationship, can you truly get over the fact of what may have happened in the open one?

[Biddlybiddlybombop]

Definitely right to stand your ground on open relationships. I think you're doing it pretty much right at the moment. Give him the space, try to stay as calm as possible and see what happens when he visits.

[Malaga]

It always amazes me when people suggest an open relationship but go out of their way to convince you they don't actually want to be with others. Okay then.

Good luck xx