just curious

[Carenza LaRue]

As I was reading the posts and topics here, I noticed so many of you know the exact date of when the two of you came together.

If someone asks me when did you start having a relationship, I really can't answer.
What date do I take?

I remember my ex and I broke up somewhere in December 2011 and Rob, my SO, asked me what was going on as he seen my depressed posts in our FB group. From there we started and it all went very quickly.

But since we both were in a group, where everybody knew us, we kept it silent for a while. He never asked me to be his GF officially. We just had some fun on FB one day and I changed my FB status into 'in a relationship'

As it will be December soon, I was just wondering if that is the month we are having our one year anniversary.... or is it the month of May, where I changed my status in public?

haha.... it may sound lame but I am really confused...
so, how do you know so precisely when you were 'in a relationship' ?

[stephanieaz]

For us, it was when we both talked about our feelings for each other and decided to be exclusive, depsite the distance and having never met! Although we'd been flirty before that and had admitted to liking each other, it wasn't all that serious for the first month or so. I will admit that neither of us remembered the exact date (unfortunately), but we were able to narrow it down to the month and he made a guesstimate based on what he could remember. We became "FB official" on March 3, so I don't think we're too far off.

[TwoThree]

Well as far as I'm concerned, I go by the date where we said "I love you" to each other (while meaning it, not joking around)

And I remember the date so precisely because it was the day after my birthday.

[Amelia]

i think people have different dates some go by when their relationship became "official" others go by first date, then you have the first time "i love you" was said. i myself go for when we decided to be "official". i think it just depends on the person or couple...

[Malaga]

We took our 'official' start date as the date we met in person. But truthfully, we spent at least 2 months before that when we effectively acted as if we were already in a relationship. We talked every day, we knew we liked each other and neither of us was looking elsewhere. He never actually asked me to be his girlfriend either but when we first met in person, we just took it as a final confirmation that this is really it.

It does sound a bit complicated in your case, but I think anniversary should mark the date from which you can tell for sure that you're in a relationship. Even though effectively we were in a relationship before we met, neither of us had any expectations. If he'd told me one day how he met someone else the night before and hit it off with her, I'd be sad but couldn't hold it against him. After our official start date though, it would be a different story.

[Mims27]

For us, it was the first time I said I love you back to her. She had said it before me and because I was really confused with my sexuality and stuff, I didn't say it back right away. But it didn't take me long and she happened to remember the date that I did cause she's good at remembering stuff like that! hehe

[Haley53]

I say we unofficially got together the month we decided we were exclusive, but our anniversary is from the day he asked me to be his girlfriend.

[Xanahtas]

Well me and Sud actually told each other on the 3rd Aug how we felt about each other, but didnt actually decide to become a couple until the 8th Aug because we were worried about the hate we'd get. So we count the day we became official and on facebook, 8th Aug '10

[D.4C]

this is the way my girlfriend and i went about it...we picked july 4th of this year...which is when i actually asked her if she would be my girlfriend...we were actually together for a good month before that...but we were both just out of bad relationships...and didn't really want the public thinking either of us were rebounding...and i wanted to actually wait till she was here at the end of september to ask her in person...but one day...it just came out...

[lucybelle]

We don't have a start date. We were in an open relationship for quite a long time. So when people ask ''how long have you been together?'' I either tell them how long we've known each other or how long we've been living together.

[Moon]

We don't have a date either, our relationship just kind of snuck up on us. I'm sort of glad though, when I see people making a big deal out of their 38 month anniversary, it makes me glad I'm not that into that

[Dezface]

We also don't have an official start date. We were both in other relationships when we met. We knew quickly we wanted to be together but it took a long time for us to get to a point where we could officially be a couple. That why my ticker says falling in love since...that's the day we met but we weren't "official" until some months ago.

[v&d]

If somebody asks me I won't be able to say when me and my boyfriend started dating, it was a gradual process. And I don't believe that the date is important, I often get embarrassed when I am not able to answer the question : "How long have you been two together?" and I should not feel bad about it.

[Sora1101]

We use the date when we became exclusive, if I had to wait for him to update his relationship status on facebook the past 3 years we haven't "really" been in a relationship and I think that's totally bogus.

[Zephii]

For us, we have to know for our visa. We use the date we met in person - because whilst we were exclusive a little before that, he didn't consider that significant enough to say we were actually a couple. We had the "are we in this together or not?" talk about a week after we met face to face, but it was the less positive experience... and more of a confirmation of something that had been there a long time than the moment it began.

I don't think it really matters though. Probably good not to have a date you're really attached to, because once you get married (if you do, of course, I'm not saying everyone has to or even should) you don't get to keep that date anyway.